The Orange Juice Oracle reads America’s Horoscope for Election Day!


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Chairman Vern here.  I ran into the Orange Juice Oracle at the recent International Convention of Political Astrologers down in Laguna, and asked him:  “You’ve done the charts for Romney, for Ryan, for the Supreme Court, and for a law (Obamacare) – can you do an entire nation?  What does the United States’ horoscope look like for Election Day, Nov. 6, 2012?”  The Oracle squinted quizzically at me, made a grunting sound, and retreated into his tent for nearly an hour.  When he came back out, he spake thusly, which I transcribe from recording him on my smart phone:

Astrologically, what’s happening on election day in the United States has never happened before.

Mercury stations retrograde on November 6th, meaning the planet changes from a direct motion to a retrograde motion. It appears to be moving backward because of its elliptical orbit. The illusion is similar to two trains moving next to each other down the track. If you’re on the faster one, the slower one appears to be moving backwards. Mercury moves in retrograde motion about three times a year for about two and half to three weeks. Its effects are fairly well known. All manner of communication snafus are known to occur during that 2-3 week period. Traditional astrology recommends against signing contracts of any kind, as you will surely be missing an important piece of information that ends up working against you. Communication equipment malfunctions, news is reported inaccurately or prematurely, information is lost, tampered with, or otherwise confusing and unreliable.

Mercury was retrograde (but did not station on the exact day) the day that John Roberts messed up the words as he was swearing in President Obama, and had to return to the White house the following evening to redo it. That’s typical Mercury retrograde stuff.

In August of 2010 during the Australian elections the exact astrological event that will be occurring here on November 6th, occurred in Australia. Mercury stationed retrograde on their election day, and the result was a party tie. It took two weeks before Julia Gillard (the incumbent) secured enough votes to be declared the winner. Two weeks was the length of the retrograde period. Mercury turned direct as the final accurate results were announced.

I would predict a similar outcome for this election. I don’t think we’ll know who won for two weeks as the initial results will probably be contested.

Looking to inauguration day, it seems that Obama’s birth chart is better tied into the chart of the United States. On January 20th, the Sun conjuncts Obama’s natal Jupiter, a fortuitous and expansive influence. Transiting Saturn (achievement, public responsibility, solidification of reputation, honors and awards) is rising to the zenith of Obama’s chart. It falls in the 9th house, not quite approachng the Zenith, but close. Transiting Saturn moves through Romney’s 6th house, the house of self-improvement, service, health, humility, and hard work. Being placed below the horizon his current cycles reflect movement toward personal self-improvement, not massive public responsibility.

What clinches an Obama win for me is the absolute mess of a chart he’s left with for the next couple years. Massive responsibility, conflict, disappointment, and backbreaking work with little gain.  Romney’s chart looks like he could be going fishing.

At the United Astrology Conference in New Orleans this spring, a panel of World-renowned astrologers convened and concluded that Obama would win. It was unanimous.  It should be pointed out that most astrologers support Obama, so bias is always a possibility, but, as they were presenting, their prediction techniques seemed objective and sophisticated.

A week ago, four less famous astrologers convened at the San Diego Astrological Society meeting, and, again their conclusions were unanimously in favor of Obama.  One quoted George Carlin, reminding everyone that the real rulers of this country don’t care who wins.  “It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it.”

George also famously said “The American dream is called a dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.

The Orange Juice Oracle.

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