Martin Luther King’s Crazy-ass Niece (and other gay marriage tidbits)


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We all have a crazy uncle or aunt, or nephew or niece – like Ross Perot said in a far-fetched analogy to the deficit, “the crazy maiden aint up in our attic.”  In Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior’s case, I hope there are enough angels in heaven to distract him each time his niece Alveda opens her fat retarded mouth:

Yes, the King progeny just said that:

  1. Heterosexual marriage is society’s most reliable way to produce more children;
  2. Same-sex marriage is on its way to being accepted and legalized;
  3. Hence, there will be no more procreation and humanity will go extinct.
  4. (I guess somewhere in the middle there, heterosexual marriage and sex itself must have been abolished.)

Still, Alveda is not a whole lot worse than our own local Congressional candidate Van Tran. We amused ourselves last week, and engendered some controversy, responding to his Prop 8 statement in our first installment of “Van Tran, You Moron.“  Little did we know that the version he sent to his Vietnamese fans was different from what he sent out in English to the rest of us.  (h/t Prevatt and Bolsavik)

As the Bolsavik detailed, there were three things Van only  felt comfortable telling his fellow Viets (and when are these guys gonna learn that we eventually hear everything?) :

  • Judge Walker made this decision because he is gay, works in Gay San Francisco, and was obviously pressured by the homosexual lobby.  This is offensive beneath response – implying female judges can’t objectively render decisions on gender discrimination, black or Latino or Asian judges can’t objectively render decisions on racial bias, and so on.
  • His opponent Loretta Sanchez is “in favor of abortions and gay marriage.” In fact, while Loretta is pro-choice and backs “LGBT civil rights,” NOBODY is in favor of abortion.  This may be a semantic quibble to some of you, but it’s interesting that Van thought only Viets would be receptive to this simplistic mud-slinging.
  • To his Viet readers, but ONLY to them, Van Tran pledges to support the appeal of Judge Walker’s decision – i.e. to attempt to once again make same-sex marriage illegal.

Well, Viet readers, is Van correct to assume that you are more likely to be homophobic and anti-choice than we non-Viets are?  The Liberal OC finds that assumption racist on Van’s part, and I tend to agree with them.  What say you?

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Meanwhile we equality fans wait with bated breath to see whether or not Judge Walker will deny the stay on his decision – that is, whether our gay friends can once again commence to marrying the person they love.  Both our current Governor (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and our next Governor (Attorney General Jerry Brown) have filed motions asking the Court to allow marriages to resume.  A decision on that is expected any day, and Orange Juice readers will be the first to know when it comes down.

Oh that’s right, it’s not quite a done deal that Jerry Brown will be our next Governor;  there is still the little problem of thick-necked billionairess Meg Whitman and her bushels of cash that will not be denied.  Queen Meg has stated in the past that she supports Prop 8, not that she felt strongly enough to have voted on it, and is weakly saying now that “we should allow the legal process to take its full course,” which would presumably allow her enough time to grow a stronger opinion on whether or why one out of ten Californians should not be allowed to marry the person they love.

I’m sure that, given the way she has targeted her millions to aim divergent immigration messages at Latino voters and her xenophobic GOP base, Her Thick-Necked Majesty would love to do the same thing on marriage equality … but HOW? Gay billboards in a gay language to be placed alongside gay highways, without being detected by homophobic voters? I think we will just have to envision those for her.

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Finally, to cleanse that creepy feeling you still may have from watching Alveda King dishonor the legacy of her uncle in the service of bigotry, you should watch True Conservative Ted Olson, who argued the case against Proposition 8 in front of Judge Walker, defend Walker’s decision on Fox News:

Sign here to thank Mr Olson for his hard work.


About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist in Orange County. Performs regularly with his savage-jazz quintet The Vern Nelson Problem, and at regular concerts at the Huntington Beach Central Library.