$ave Mayor $idhu! $500 to $10,000 a Plate Dinner at Brewery X.

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“Anaheim is OPEN FOR BUSINESS!” – Mayor Harry’s inaugural address.

Anaheim Insider here.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the time, a few weeks ago, that the Mayor found out that he was actually being Recalled.  There’d been talk about the possibility for months, as more and more of Anaheim’s flatlanders and lower classes were getting pissed off at him for a variety of reasons, but he never seemed to take it seriously. 

That morning a female staff member (whom I won’t name) poked her head cautiously into his office and handed him a few sheets of paper.  “Mayor, you’re going to have to respond to this,” she told him quietly, and as she turned away from him to leave, I caught a satisfied smirk on her face.

Mayor Sidhu’s tantrums are very different from Mayor Pringle’s.  Less things get broken.  Veins pulse, but there is less noise, less bedlam.  For a long time, after glancing at the top page, he sat in silence, with his jaws and fists clenched, and sometimes with eyes closed, occasionally muttering to himself in what I assume is Hindi.  Then he suddenly grabbed his phone and made a series of furious calls, shouting and stammering manically in his native tongue, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

Finally after four or five calls he sat still, began to smile to himself, and turned to me, his closest assistant.  “I… will… CRUSH… them.”

“Yes you will, sir.  They don’t stand a chance.” 

“Who do they think they are?  These are the scum of the city!  Where are they going to get the money to take on ME?”

He spat out a Hindi word, and then translated it for me: “The INGRATES!  After all I’ve done for them .. I – I – I gave them BASEBALL!  For thirty more years!  What more do they want?”

I reached over and looked through the signatures.  “A lot of these are seniors from Rancho La Paz, sir.”

“We made a program for them!  Trevor did.  It’ll help – a FEW of them at least!  They don’t need to be in this city if they can’t afford it anyway!”

Then he leaned forward with that familiar grin – what some folks call his “death-rictus grimace.”  “I’ll tell you what we’re going to do, Toady.  We’re going to – how do they say here – make LEMONADE from this lemon.  Toady, take dictation.  We are going to hold a SAVE THE MAYOR DINNER.”

“Great idea, sir!”

His eyes gleamed, as they always do when he thinks up new ways to retire all his old campaign debt.  And soon we had THIS all ready to go:

Lemonade out of lemons for sure!  A minimum of $500 per plate, and some will definitely shell out $10 grand to be “hosts” – these folks LOVE them some Harry.  Play things right and they’ll reap MILLIONS out of a mere few thousand toward the Mayor’s debts, and they know it.  Did you see that list of hosts?

• First, the Chamber of Commerce PAC – brilliant!  The Mayor funded this PAC himself with taxpayer dollars, and now they’re returning the favor by protecting him from the riffraff that wants to recall him – take that, all you punks and malcontents! 
• Buck Johns, the Newport Beach meddler who plies most of his mischief in Victorville. 
• Peter Mitchell, the Brea-millionaire Police Union lobbyist and crony of Jordan Brandman.
• The Building Trades palookas – there for every scheme we hatch, even if there’s NOTHING in it for their poor dumb workers!
• Bill Taormina, who was cursing Harry over the “rotten Angels giveaway” and wanting him replaced, until recently being placated by a $100K settlement from the City over his failed homeless shelter (whose failure was not the City’s fault but his own.) 
• Paul Sanford of Hong Kong’s Wincome hoteliers, the insatiable subsidy lovers. 
• And Whittingham – that basically means JOHN SAUNDERS, the displacer and despoiler of mobile home seniors.

I’m just posting this here on the Orange Juice Blog in case any of you want to help fund our wonderful Mayor’s fight against the recall.  Ah, who am I kidding?  It’s doubtful anyone here could afford it. 

But still, you-all may want to show up outside Brewery X, 3191 E. La Palma (just east of Kraemer) this Wednesday from 5:30 to 7:30 – just stand there outside on the sidewalk and let this great public servant know how much you support him!

See you all there, suckers!