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So I’m jest sittin’ here on my oil, havin’ a smoke and countin’ my money, and the phone rings, and I can see it’s the boy president, bless his heart. “Howdy, Dubya, what can I do ya for?” He laughs that little nervous giggle of his, and I try to make it easy on him: “You need another check, Junior?”
“Not this time, boss, I got some great news for you! What’re you doin’ right now?”
“Jest sittin’ on my oil, countin’ my money. What good news, Junior?”
“Well, good thing you’re sittin’ down, cuz guess what? We’re gonna open up ANWAR for drillin’, and the Continental Shelf too! Howd’ya like them apples, Boss?”
I took a drag and thought a spot; Dubya never did understand the oil business much. “That’s okay Mr. President, yew don’t hafta do that. I’m doin’ great right now jest sittin’ on the oil I got! Have yew seen gas prices lately? Thru the roof, and they ain’t stoppin’!”
“Heh-heh, so I hear, so I hear! But…” he paused, confused. “Don’tchyou want more? Don’tchyou wanna drill… OFFSHORE?”
“Welp… not really any time soon, Junior. For one, we don’t rightly have the ships for it. And we already got 80% of reserves that we’re just sittin’ on and–“
“But… but Turdblossom said–“
“Ah, Karl Rove! Then it’s a political thing.”
“Well… yup I guess you could say that! What isn’t? Us Republicans are gonna get slaughtered this fall and we need SOME kind of issue. You don’t want old John McCain to get his butt kicked do you?”
“We’ll be fine either way Junior. Fact, I just cut a check to that boy Barack–” I caught myself too late, and there was an awkward silence. “I mean…”
“You… you want the terrist appeasers to cut and run this country, boss?”
“It’s gonna be okay, Mr. President. Thanks to you! You’ve done a great job, history will judge you kindly. Now, just take it easy these next few months and don’t start any more wars, y’hear?”
I’d said the right thing, and I could sense him beaming proudly. “Yes, history WILL judge me kindly, won’t she. Hey, you didn’t let me tell you the funny thing Turdblossom told me.”
“Yes, Junior?”
“It’s about one of them Rass-mewson Polls. Appears most Americans–” here he started cackling uncontrollably and had to start over. “Appears most Americans think that if we let you-all drill offshore, their GAS PRICES’LL GO DOWN!”
And we both laughed so hard and long that I fell right off the barrel I was settin’ on and dropped my phone. When I picked it up again he was still cackling. “OK then Mr. President, you call whenever you need anything. Best to Laura and the twins. You get to bed now, you hear?”
Dumb as a rock that boy, but a true American.
Vern,
First off, it’s obvious you are having difficulty raising issues based on factual information to bring to this discussion or you wouldn’t be resorting to fictional accounts of things as you dream them to be. Nor would you be insinuating that others in this discussion have diminished mental capacity to understand the situation.
I have to wonder as well, if you truly believe others have a mental disability, why it’s ok to publicly ridicule that disability rather than simply offer an alternative fact based discussion. It seems not only more polite and politically correct, but also fosters a more civil discussion rather than a great deal of useless name calling. I have to ask why is ok to diminish the objective worth of another’s opinion to further your opinion. It seems from the past few posts on this discussion you are more than willing to use pronouns’ that are derogative for anyone who is not buying in to your ideas, rather than simply discuss facts. Are you having problems finding and presenting them in some cogent manner? Does use of derogatory speech somehow empower you?
If I were to write similarly about Mr. Obama and his acquaintance, Mr. Rezko, I’m very sure my character would be pilloried very publicly. I would be accused of being bigoted, uneducated, uncaring, thoughtless, insensitive, and any manner of insults. I also sure you would jump right in the middle of that.
But when you do it, it’s supposed to be acceptable? After all your from the party that “cares about everyone”, so that makes it acceptable? While I’m not from any party and have still been branded as some sort of Republican in denial. I’m not at all complaining about my treatment, I have broad shoulders, simply pointing out the double standard that is very real in today’s society at large and your discussion in particular.
I also would like to thank those who have publicly come to my defense, since we live in times that are not at all unlike the Spanish Inquisition. The only bonus I see currently is that unlike the Inquisition, I won’t be burned at the stake, that would simply raise my carbon footprint to unacceptable levels and that would be bad, unless somehow you purchased carbon offsets to facilitate that… Now that does cause me a bit of worry, that perhaps that very thought would be entertained by some of you out there.
Try to stay cool out there today, I’ll be sweltering like all the rest of you, since I don’t have air conditioning in my home, I won’t be turning down the thermostat and won’t be adding to the heat island we live in.
Thanks for the cool down Carl. If Vern had added a few “Yes Massas” in there, he couldnt have been anymore bigoted and shallow.
And I had been cooling my heels, dreaming up a “make believe” phone conversation between two starched shirts eating their garden weed and chickroot salads and talking about their prius’ and all the folks in Africa dying because they ban DDT, all the families broken by welfare, all the scaremongering about population explosions, heterosexual aids, the ozone… and how it is so great not to have to say you’re sorry, as long as you’re a liberal.
But the fact of the matter is, our friend Vern just needs a lesson in plain economics.
Because economics is about incentives and consequences, and its also about decision making units.
Now, the desire for any of a multitude of outcomes prompts leftists to control the production and supply of oil. Thus, we have a shortage and a rise in prices, because the incentives for the suppliers, the haulers, the drillers and the facility owners has changed. i.e. Rent control causes housing shortages, or a world example, Ghana lost its cocoa crop when the government thought it could tell farmers what the crop was worth.
But leftists like Vern have no respect for individuals or individual decisions. They believe decisions can and are made from the top down and we all behave as a result of someone elses decisions so we can always blame someone else for the spot we’re in or the gripe we have today.
Example after example could be given, but I’m sure Vern feels no more need to be consistent on this than liberals feel a need to be consistent on the war on terror.
Now that you’ve granted terrorists the right to American courts and American jurisprudence, I expect you to be the first ones to stand up and say “They’re innocent until proven guilty”. That is the first logical and ethical step on your path to moral equivalence.
Carl,
I find it refreshing to have an issue portrayed in a medium of humor. I believe Vern has added an inspiring dimension of creativity to numerous issues, which has piqued OUTSTANDING exchanges of information among the true experts (and, based upon what I’ve read thus far, that would include you). I know close to nothing about this subject, but thanks to the provocative posts and consequent commentary, I am substantially more informed than I was 3 days ago!
Vern is without a doubt the best single writer in the Orange County Blogosphere, and probably by an order of magnitude or two.
But really his humor pales in comparison to the unintentional self-parody of right wing hacks falling all over themselves to blame environmentalists for the high price of oil and to propose solutions that are absurd on their face.
We have the results of six years of total control by the Republican party, and two years of continuing obstructionism and kleptocracy, and they are blaming liberals.
George Bush and his party of failure is completely responsible for $5.00 gas/ It’s their massive deficits that have turned our dollars into pesos, their wars that have destabilized the mideast, and their energy policy that consisted of tinkering with daylight savings time.
And they cite economics? How do they keep their brains from exploding from the cognitive dissonance.
Folks. I have some bad news. Vern will not be responding to comments today. Apparently he broke his arm patting himself on the back!
For those who wish to see Vern perform on those
36 black keys and 52 white keys let me suggest watching him perform tonight:
Mr. Nelson performs his unique blend of classical, jazz, and rock piano
every Saturday evening (6:30 to 10) at
BACI Italian Restaurant
18748 Beach Blvd, Huntington Beach 92648
between Ellis and Garfield, next door to the IHOP!
(714) 965-1194 –call to make sure– you never know– stuff happens…
Note: My prior comment picked up “Vern rules,” not the man himself. As such his back is probably 100% OK. Larry G
BIG overreaction, Overmyer. Actually there were several facts, and supportable opinions, that I thought were missing or not emphasized in our previous posts and comments, which I tried to present here in the medium of humor (which I hope is funny) and creative writing (which I hope is well done and entertaining.) I even included a few links in the story, if you noticed. Main points:
1. Oil companies have millions of acres of land with supposed oil deposits and untapped wells already under their control, but they’re not rushing to drill or explore them. Why? Because tracts that show up as “untapped oil reserves” are more profitable if they remain untapped. They inflate the stock price, the result of which goes directly into the execs’ wallets. And the corporations use them as an asset without having to actually see whether or not there is any oil in the deposits. (d-day at Calitics said that better than I could, but so have many)
2. As I learned in an interesting NY Times article (to which I linked above) “a shortage of ships used for deep-water offshore drilling promises to impede any rapid turnaround in oil exploration and supply.” I don’t know how important that is, but it does suggest that the companies are neither ready nor eager for offshore drilling, and it won’t be helping our gas prices any time soon.
3. Opening up ANWAR and the Continental Shelf, even if they were to be drilled any time soon, will not lead to any decrease in prices, especially not within this decade. (We’re probably going to be living with 10$ a gallon gas soon no matter what, and all our lifestyles are just going to have to change somehow.)
4. However, according to a recent Rasmussen poll (to which I also linked above) most Americans think that increased drilling would reduce their gasoline prices.
5. The above two facts, combined with the sudden urgency of (for some reason Republican) politicians to push through offshore drilling as November’s election nears (after ignoring the crisis for the last seven years) leads reasonable people to suspect it’s all just a political ploy taking advantage of all Americans’ pain at the pump.
I tried to incorporate the above facts and opinions into a humorous piece of fiction, because that’s what I do! The fact that our President is to put it kindly somewhat ill-spoken is an accepted staple of political humor, not just on the left. Other observable facts about him that I included are: his lack of success as an oilman, his obsession with “how history will judge him” as opposed to getting real results now, he and his family’s unfamiliarity with the pains of the common man (as in “so I hear”) and his solicitude toward big business interests, especially oil. Oh yeah and he likes to pretend to be a Texan.
It’s tedious to have to explain all this. I was hoping we could jump right in, arguing whether points 1-5 above are valid or not.
Carl, I worry about you though when I read your penultimate paragraph. Whatever made you feel that there’s an “inquisition” against you? Don’t you know you’re one of our favorite rightwing commenters, just angry and offensive enough to be fun, but always with some substance—-in fact I think you got a special invitation to Screwdrivers, didn’t you? Some rack and thumbscrews! And I’m NOT one of those PC liberals. If you think up some comical exchange between Obama and Rezko that actually sheds light on some timely issue (or tries to), I’ll see if I can put it up as a guest post. Keep cool now y’hear! All of y’all!
(Oh, sweet Jesus. Now here comes Crowley, right on cue. *groan* )
🙂 Larry you are a mensch.
Vern
I will come and watch you play when I come visit.
Sweet. One small step for mankind, one large leap for Orange Juice comity.
I’m still laughing Vern and if anyone should be offended it would be a Texan like me! Yet…I’m not. Parody gets me through many a day. Truer words were never spoken in jest. The absurdity of drilling for what little oil exists in ANWAR et. al. is not economically feasible. I suspect everyone knows this……or should.
Marselle.
Did you ever see the movie “Wag the Dog?”
Without debating hard numbers regarding ANWR reserves the simple fact that we finally send a message to OPEC, which represents around half of our imports, just might give us a little leverage.
Doing nothing, since the days of Jimmy Carter, and all who followed him, sends what message other than our dependence on others for this vital resource.
For those who like trakcing numbers try this on:
“The opening of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR 1002 Area) to oil and natural gas development would result in additional oil production of a peak 780,000 barrels per day in 2027, according to the mean case developed by the Energy Information Administration in a revised assessment of ANWR potential.”
Marsell Part II
In your above comment you stated the following:
“The absurdity of drilling for what little oil exists in ANWAR”
That shows how much you know about the topic.
Perhaps we should stop all crude coming from Alaska. I say that becasue we currently get 22 million barrel per day from Alaska which equates to around 733,000 barrels per day.
“Ready, fire, aim” will always get you in trouble.
Vern,
I wasn’t in total disagreement with the facts you presented. (Don’t faint now)
I still maintain however, ALL of it needs to be on the table for discussion to have a complete and integrated plan for the nations energy needs of the future. Congress has really missed the boat in that regard, when the fail to plan, they plan to fail.
(back to the rant)
It was the way you said it. Which you are perfectly within your Rights’ to do. Not everyone finds the same things to be funny. I hope even you would admit the factual information was somewhat buried in your post, you have to go to other webpages to understand what your saying completely. As well everyone seems to be forgetting that this hyperinflation we are seeing in the oil futures market is an emotional/profit response from the traders. They are trying to balance their sheets (from the mortgage mess) on our backs. Not true supply and demand issues. You might not want to believe that, (hell, I don’t want too either) but I think that time will show me to be correct. I am totally willing to admit as well, the further I dig into it, the tougher time I have in trying to prove my case. (which frustrates me no end!) That is because so much of it is not publicly available in real time, as well many of the really big boys are private companies without the public disclosure rules. I think they hide it on purpose so they won’t be held accountable in real time.
I do take this issues (AGW and the energy markets) very seriously because there is so much about it that is misunderstood and flat out wrong in the general publics’ mind. (I do like seeing you stretch your use of vocabulary too, sweet! 😉 [penultimate]) As you know I have been referred to in pejorative terms by others in their posts of late, as have others. I don’t have thin skin, (and I also obviously don’t have issue with defending myself in any way) but I also have huge issues with the double standard raised about how liberals vs. conservatives are labeled in the greater area of public discourse. I’m sick and tired of being labeled as angry, uncaring or uneducated, when I or anyone else disagrees with them. I’m also trying to point out that the arena should be the same for all of us. As you know I have taken others to task for the very same issue, so don’t think I just have wood for you. You just happen to be on today’s menu, it isn’t personal.
I did receive an invite to Screwdrivers, I was also the first to sign up to be added to the list and had to sign on/up to MySpace to do it, which I have resisted for a long time. So, I don’t know what “special” invite you mean, but I do look forward to meeting you and everyone else there.
Longboobs,
Thank you for the compliments and I am VERY happy to have been a small part in furthering your knowledge on the subject. Frankly, it’s one of my major goals here on the blog, to make folks ask the hard questions and make available at least some educational materials.
I think you may also have a good point about the cause and effect in how this all came about and that’s all good too.
Uh…yeah Larry. I’ve seen “Wag the Dog”. Is “just might give us a little leverage” worth the sacrifice of our environment for a “little bit of money”? “Energy Information Administration”? Rather Orwellian don’t you think? I will check it out though and get back to you…..one day. ciao for now! ~ Ms M
Larry some oil is easy to get to. Some isn’t.
“Energy Information Administration”? Rather Orwellian don’t you think?
Don’t worry Marselle the EIA is a legit objective government source that Debbie refers to as well. It’s just the numbers used out of context don’t really get across much meaning. The graph I posted the other day puts Larry’s correct claim into context. Pretty colors too! 🙂
Pretty, pretty, pretty! ;-}
If you have a product that will sell for more tomorrow or next week, would you sell for less today if you did not have too?
If the government will give you a big tax break if you will bring more of your product to the market later, but still tax the crap out of what you have in inventory today. Would you sell today or wait until next week for the tax break and higher prices?
The constant in that graph is price of oil.
Any new graph would show production up greatly now with the high price for oil.
Vern,
Sorry, I forgot to add in my last post above, that off shore drilling, that you and the media seem fixated on, is only a very small slice of the pie. I don’t think, and I might be wrong, that most of the public thinks it’s going to be the magic answer either. ANWR fits the in same category. Together the options add up to a bit more leverage in the marketplace.
We also need to build out new refineries and pipelines as well. We should have already started building a LNG facility here offshore too, but that taken off the table…by whom?
I hear your points and I’m not smart enough yet to be sure if I agree, but I’ve been learning more each day.
But the only reason I and the media are “fixated” on offshore and ANWR is because President Bush and Candidate McCain are suddenly brandishing it as a cure-all.
And, again, from Rasmussen: Sixty-four percent (64%) of voters believe it is at least somewhat likely that gas prices will go down if offshore oil drilling is allowed, although 27% don’t believe it. Seventy-eight percent (78%) of conservatives say offshore drilling is at least somewhat likely to drive prices down. That view is shared by 57% of moderates and 50% of liberal voters. I continue to strive to not pull these things out of my behind.
lol…ok Fair enough Vern.
ANWR has much better odds of being developed in a reasonable time frame, and making for some leverage in the market than off-shore. I also agree with you that existing holes need to be pumped too.
But remember my point about it being a perception in the market, with the traders, that’s going to make a difference. Not as much the actual supply or even demand. The market is driven by emotions and unfortunately not as much by facts.
Marselle.
To drill in ANWR is not about money. It’s about taking corrective action to add some additional crude to the total mix of domestic oil under domestic, rather than OPEC control.
Telling the world that we will never drill in ANWR sends a great message. The US is too lame to access oil in its own back yard. Therefore we will control both the monthly volume and price.
And should the US twist our arm we can always send the oil tankers to Asia.
Is that your ultimate goal?
Whut? The total whut? Larry for goddess sake! Telling the world what? What they already know? What is this world you live in? A game of poker? Whoever bluffs louder bluffs longer? It’s not like it’s a secret that we have oil in ANWR. It’s not like a secret that it is hard to get to and not as much as we need to feel all warm and fuzzy! Why not try a little reality here? Let’s work from a position of TRUTH shall we? We need to work on alternate sources of energy. I don’t think “twisting arms” is going to help at this juncture. Just my narrow but humble opinion.
Marselle.
Are you now an expert in exploration opportunity and cost? In an earlier comment you stated:
“The absurdity of drilling for what little oil exists in ANWAR et. al. is not economically feasible. I suspect everyone knows this……or should.”
When crude was under $30 per barrel it didn’t make sense to drill in many areas of the country.
In fact let me provide some hard numbers to make my point:
“In 1972 the price of crude oil was about $3.00 per barrel and by the end of 1974 the price of oil had quadrupled to over $12.00. From 1974 to 1978 world crude oil prices were relatively flat ranging from $12.21 per barrel to $13.55 per barrel.”
However, now that the price is approaching $140 per barrel it changes the game with regard to risk/reward.
For the past 35 years we have known of the need to become energy independent. I blame both major political parties for putting their heads in the sand. At the same time I am disgusted with environmentalists who are more concerned about protecting an area of 2,000 acres out of 19 million acres in ANWR of which 17.5 million acres are permanently closed to development. How much wilderness & refuge area do we need to protect?
Alternate sources of energy? I have already stated that our leaders have neglected development of alternate sources of energy.
What’s your solution? Park the 250 million vehicles in this country and walk to work and wherever else you need to go? And while you walk or use public transportation, don’t forget to continue paying your lease or remaining monthly payments on those that are not paid off.
Perhaps you will support Assemblyman Chuck DeVore’s efforts to add more nuclear energy. Others have suggested wind and solar power. Perhaps you might read my prior posts indicating that collectively they represent less than 10 percent of our energy today.
How many billions are you prepared to provide in the form of R & D dollars to develop your alternate energy desires? It is so easy to make general statements such as you have but I didn’t see your including any program specifics.
Come back and share with us “who will do it, how will it be paid for, what is your timeframe for making it available to the 303 million living in this country,” etc. We would welcome a peek at your business plan rather than your rock throwing.
Terry, Do you really think that oil and gas trade in an open free market? One that is not influenced by cartels or monopolistic thinking and behaviors? That if prices are unjustifiably inflated, it is easy for customers to switch to alternative sources or that new competitors can and will come into the market to drive the prices back down to a real supply-demand equilibrium? How much control do individual decisions have upon this market (at least within time frames of a few years or less)?
I’m no expert. Never said I was. It should give a reasonable person pause however, when the other “none experts” start obfuscating. So now that oil is “approaching $140 a barrel” we should consider drilling for the real hard to get and real expensive to retrieve oil out of ANWR ‘scuz it’s now worth more?
Marselle.
Again you claim not to be an expert yet state that “drilling for the real hard to get and real expensive to retrieve oil out of ANWR …”
Please. Stop “winging it.” Have you checked out the cost of getting the crude from ANWR? How can you make a general statement without data to back it up?
Further, we want to access that crude but not, as you state, ” b ’scuz it’s now worth more?”
It’s not about valuation. It’s about independence.
“Winging it” is what I do. That’s how I get through a day. How ’bout you? Invalidating perhaps?
Just in from tomorrows edition of the Wall Street Journal
Since I don’t subscribe to the WSJ I can’t get the entire story. If someone out there does, can you send me the text to it, please.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121418815138595945.html?mod=rss_whats_news_us
Panel Cites Surge in Speculative Oil Trades
By Stephen Power and Ian Talley
WASHINGTON — Speculative traders’ interest in crude oil has grown to the point that they now account for roughly 70% of all trading in West Texas Intermediate crude on the New York Mercantile Exchange, compared with 37% in 2000, according to an investigation by a congressional subcommittee that forms part of an escalating political assault on Wall Street’s role in the run-up in oil prices.
The subcommittee’s findings, based on data obtained from federal commodity-futures regulators, are the latest sign that Washington is gearing up to try to limit the role of hedge funds, investment banks and other speculative traders …
Marselle.
Although I am not perfect I spend many hours researching and multi sourcing many of the stories I cover. As such that is not “wingin it.”
Well good on you Larry. Although “researching” bad sources gives you wrong data. Just a thought.