Please join me in my FCC complaint – MSNBC, CNN, FOX and others continue to use the word “Santorum” at all hours of the day.


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Now I hope you all know by now that I am no prude.  I enjoy a naughty ribald joke as much as anybody.  Nor am I homophobic, I fully support any adults’ rights to have whatever kind of consensual sex together that they feel like.  But, when we’re talking about television, prime time and day time, when it’s entirely to be expected that children, innocent wide-eyed children, will be watching and listening, I still feel there are some boundaries that should be respected.

Case in point:  The whole extended Nelson clan was relaxing in the living room over the holidays;  my brother and I had got our way and MSNBC was on, when, apropos of nothing, big Ed Schultz just bellowed out, “And let me tell you, SANTORUM IS SURGING in Iowa.

The grownups sat in shocked silence, hoping that crass comment had gone right over the kids’ heads, but that was not the case.  My 11-year old niece Kayla screwed up her face and squealed, “Ewww, gross, I can’t believe that fat man just said that.”

My dad grumbled, “It’s just those damn liberals, they have no sense of decency.  Switch it to FOX, damn it.”

That turned out not to be such a great idea either, as not half a minute went by before Megyn Kelly, with flashing eyes and sardonic smile, spat out to her co-anchor, “And from what I hear, SANTORUM IS COMING FROM BEHIND!

Again, we gulped and blushed, and this time it was my five-year old grandson Devin whose eyes grew round and who blurted out, “Why does that nasty lady talk so dirty?”

My sister Maureen stood up and snapped, “This is what you get from these extremist channels on either side.”  She grabbed the remote and announced, “As long as children are here – as long as MY children are here – we are sticking with CNN!”

And lo and behold, John King was standing holding a mike in front of a gaggle of caucusing hayseeds, and marveling to Gloria Borger, “I’ve been travelling all over Iowa, and I’m telling you, Gloria – there are puddles of Santorum spread all across this beautiful Hawkeye State, as though randy satyrs had been carelessly copulating in every corn field!

This time my mother literally choked on her eggnog, grabbed the remote from my sister and clicked off the television, and with a bright red face stammered, “Why don’t we all just play a board game?”

*

And it wasn’t just that one day.  I flipped through all the news channels the following day when I was safely alone, and again it was nothing but Santorum, Santorum, Santorum.  I finally decided I’d had enough, and I opened up my laptop and found the website to send a complaint to the FCC.

And I hope you will do as I did, because there is power in numbers – just remember the furor over Janet Jackson’s nipple – this has to be one hundred times more objectionable!

  • First click here: http://esupport.fcc.gov/complaints.htm
  • Then choose the category “Broadcast (TV and radio)”
  • Next, choose “Broadcast programs showing obscene, profane, and/or indecent material.”
  • Then, for “filing method,” choose the recommended method, the “online form.”

Then, use your own words.  Speak from the heart.  I’m sure you must have witnessed the ever-growing use of this absolutely disgusting word on television and radio at all hours of the day, if I’ve heard it as much as I have lately.  Do this for the children.  Think of the children.  We together can make this stop, finally.


About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist in Orange County. Performs regularly with his savage-jazz quintet The Vern Nelson Problem, and at regular concerts at the Huntington Beach Central Library.