Chapman Grad & Shirtless former Rep. Chris Lee was only just looking for Pre-Op Trannies, for Cross-Dressing fun!

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All right, you can all settle down and stop theorizing now:  All shirtless Congressman Chris Lee, who received his MBA from our own Chapman University, was trying to do, was to look for some “pre-op trannies” to have a little cross-dressing fun with.  Is that all?  I don’t understand why he had to resign so abruptly!

Why couldn’t he have just manned up, dropped the phony anti-gay voting facade, got the divorce if he had to, and proudly announced his proclivities to his conservative rural New York constituents?  I have no doubt they would have understood, respected and accepted him, and returned him to office for decades!

What a wasted opportunity!  Just think, Christopher Lee could have gone on to be a beloved and respected Congressional hero to the transsexual and cross-dressing community, a sort of Barney Frank of the 2010’s who could have brought pride to the “T” part of the LGBT that is so underrepresented in the halls of power!

Imagine Congressman Lee appearing at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, a striking, flamboyant “she-male” on each arm, television cameras cutting manically between his front-row table and a mortified President Obama, who would be stammering through his prepared one-liners while plainly trying to “grapple” with the issue!

Picture the dashing conservative hero sashaying up the aisle at the State of the Union Address in full drag with tiara:  Speaker Boehner, his face turning a Deeper Shade of Orange, would have bellowed, “For shame, sir!”  And in defiant response, Christopher would have ripped off his sequined blouse and stood there bare-chested, flexing his biceps!  OH my.

What concerns me, as an Orange County denizen, is the Chapman University connection – remember, he told “Fiona” that our distinguished and stodgy academy  is where he first acquired his taste for newly minted women who are still… “hung” shall we say.

For, bearing in mind that Christopher is a Republican Chapman alumnus who affected an anti-gay persona, we begin to wonder if this is but the tip of the iceberg, the first of many such revelations we will be suffering from anti-gay Republican figures at Chapman?

I worry about John Eastman, for example.  John Eastman, the sometime Chapman Law Dean who ran for Attorney General, the fervent Patriot Act apologist and tireless proponent of anti-gay Prop 8.  Is it only a matter of months, or is it mere weeks, before we learn that Professor Eastman has long been cruising the disreputable bars of Long Beach in search of the perfect Glory Hole? Is it irresponsible to speculate?  As Peggy Noonan memorably wrote during the Clinton days,“It would be irresponsible NOT to speculate.”

And how about the case of Chapman Law Professor and relentless homophobic radio bloviator Hugh Hewitt? I lose sleep over the possibility of his personal ads being uncovered in the West Hollywood sex tabloids – Will he be hungrily searching for “bears?”  Feverishly soliciting “bareback rides?”  Throwing caution to the winds as Congressman Lee did, and using his own name in cute slogans like “Just Do it with Hewitt”?? Understand that I only ask these questions because nobody else will!

And then there’s the truly tragic case of Chapman Visiting Professor John Yoo, who really deserves life in prison for his role in creating the unconstitutional detention and torture regime of Bush and Cheney.  If only he had, at a younger and more redeemable age, come into contact with Chapman’s thriving S&M community, and learned to channel his violent and misanthropic urges in a way that was both consensual and resulted in no permanent injuries or death – whether to innocent individuals or to the United States’ international reputation!  All we can hope for in the future is more openness about the true nature of both Chapman University and the Republican Party – and for that we must all be grateful to the Shirtless Congressman Christopher Lee!

About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official troubador of both Anaheim and Huntington Beach (the two ends of the Santa Ana Aquifer.) Performs regularly both solo, and with his savage-jazz quintet The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at, or 714-235-VERN.