Spoilsport Never-Trumpers Say Not to Snort Bleach!




Do not snort powdered bleach! We mean it!

Apparently anti-Trumpers have responded to Donald Trump’s speculation yesterday that bleach and light could be used to kill the novel coronavirus inside people’s bodies.  Orange Juice Blog wishes to send the same message to Trump supporters (and others who need to hear it): do not introduce bleach into your body.  While it is true that bleach may kill the coronavirus outside of your body, it will not have the same effect inside your body.

You may ask how we know this.  Well, medical doctors and scientists seem to be unanimous in concluding that inserting bleach or other disinfectants into your body is a really terrible — even fatal — idea.

Yes, I know that they are “experts,” but that doesn’t mean that they are wrong about this.  It’s pretty bloody clear.  You can get a sense of how obvious it is to anyone with a lick of sense by watching Trump advisor Dr. Birx’s face while Trump mentions the idea, in this clip from NBC news.

Yes, we know that NBC is a corporate relative of MSNBC, but they’re not responsible for this verbatim video clip, which has been all over the media.

Yes, I said “the media.”  But I’m not talking about ideological media.  I think I heard about this on NPR.  … Wait … just forget I said that.  Rewind.

Yes, I do understand that Trump cannot always be taken literally.  When he talked about “injecting” the disinfectant, he didn’t mean punching a hole into your lungs, and he probably didn’t mean intravenously either.  I mean, the way to get something into your lungs would be inhaling it, and in that case he would have meant snorting some sort of powdered bleach….

NO, that is NOT a good idea!  Sanitizers like bleach, or lye, or isopropyl alcohol do not belong in your body, and probably especially your lungs, for any reason.

Yes, I said “probably,” but that does not mean that I admit that it needs further study.  Yes, I agree that that is what Trump said, but it’s still absurd.

Yes, I know that he also mentioned the disinfectant effects of sunlight, but we’re not going to have people inhale full-spectrum light emitters into their lungs.  That sounds bonkers..

No, that is not my way of saying that it might be crazy enough to be true.

No, it does not warrant “further study.”  No, you shouldn’t do it so that you can report the results to Trump directly.  Are you kidding?

Do you have a right to do it if you want to?  How would you inhale a light-emitting device into your lungs, and how would you check if it was working?

Oh, we’re back to the snorting bleach idea.  Yes, I have to agree that that is not impossible, but everyone still seems to think it would be disastrous.

Yes, I understand that you are “someone.”  So I guess by “everyone” I mean “everyone with any medical or physiological scientific expertise.”

No, I don’t think that scientists are biased against Trump.  Or rather, yes, they may be biased against Trump. but it’s the result of his being so arrogantly anti-science,not the cause of their opinions.

No, I don’t think that maybe healthy white people could get away with it even though minorities who are more likely to have diabetes and heart disease could not.  Reaction to a poison isn’t affected by race.

No, sickle-cell anemia would have nothing to do with this.

NO, it does not “need further study.”  Trump was not right about that.

Oh, back to your right.  Well, technically you don’t have the right to commit suicide other then under very limited conditions, so I’d have to say “no.”

What if you “really believe it”?  That’s an interesting question, but I think that it would not be just a matter of your subjective sense of things, but would rather involve some objective analysis of whether or not you were being reasonable.  So I’d still say no.

No, I don’t think that Trump’s opinion would count in determining whether you had a legal right to snort bleach because Trump said it might work.

Yes, it is “because he doesn’t have relevant expertise.”  No, it doesn’t matter whether he’s a genius, because if he is it’s not in this area.

Yes, I’m counting on the opinions of real doctors and scientists in making that determination.

Yes, I know that you don’t trust them.  But in this area, I think you have to.

No, I’m not saying that “I’m the boss of you.”  I’m just saying that —

NO!  Don’t do it!  I get the sense that you want to do this just to “pwn” me and other liberals, but don’t!  This is not about that sort of silly —

NO!  I don’t believe that you did that.  Why?  Seriously, did you just do that?  Because we don’t believe that you can safely … do … did you?

Seriously, “that’s for me to know and for you to find out” is juvenile.

Yes, I said “juvenile”!  I’m trying to keep you from killing yourself just to pwn me and —

Oh, so now you’re “really going to do it?”  Great, that means that you didn’t do it before!

No, I’m not saying it because I’m an “anti-Trumper.”  I’m saying that because I really don’t want you to die.  Hang on.

No, just hang on a minute.  I just got a notification on my phone.

OK, there’s a new story out that Trump claims that “he was just being sarcastic” yesterday to see how reporters would react.  What the hell is he talking about?  What sort of person would do that?  I’ll read this out to you:

“I was asking a question sarcastically to reporters just like you, just to see what would happen,” Trump said on Friday during a bill signing for the coronavirus aid package. “I was asking a sarcastic and a very sarcastic question to the reporters in the room about disinfectant on the inside. But it does kill it and it would kill it on the hands, and it would make things much better.”

But the president’s comments the day before — a lengthy musing that disinfectant or powerful light could be used to fight the virus — did not appear to be sarcasm; they were in part directed at a Homeland Security official.

His defense is actually worse that the original statement, because some idiot might have been persuaded to actually —

What was that noise?  I’m serious, what was that noise?  Are you ok?  Say something!  Hello?  Hello?  Hello???

About Greg Diamond

Somewhat verbose attorney, semi-retired due to disability, residing in northwest Brea. Occasionally runs for office against bad people who would otherwise go unopposed. Got 45% of the vote against Bob Huff for State Senate in 2012; Josh Newman then won the seat in 2016. In 2014 became the first attorney to challenge OCDA Tony Rackauckas since 2002; Todd Spitzer then won that seat in 2018. Every time he's run against some rotten incumbent, the *next* person to challenge them wins! He's OK with that. Corrupt party hacks hate him. He's OK with that too. He does advise some local campaigns informally and (so far) without compensation. (If that last bit changes, he will declare the interest.)