“‘Twas a Month Post-Election…” (A Visit to the Registrar)



[Ed. Note: Our transom is apparently going to be really busy these four two years!]

‘Twas a month post-election, and all through the town,
Voters sputtered in shock: “Our new Mayor’s an Ass-clown?”
They descended en masse into Neal Kelley’s shop:
“Let’s recount or challenge! We MUST make this stop!”

“People canvassed,” they begged, “and they fought for each vote!
“But nothing exceeded the checks Disney wrote.
“Anaheim’s Mayor of Kindness, who watched funds with caution,
“Has now been replaced by high bidder at auction.”

“He brings with him cronies with iron-clad wills
“To whack at piñatas filled with dollars bills.
“They’ll undo our labors, our years of hard work,
“With a snake-oil salesman and carpetbag jerk.”

“One cannot trust Brandman! His heart can’t be smaller!
“He defamed our James in his search for top dollar!
“We’ve watch this live-action Pinocchio’s nose
“As he’s lied into office promising Trader Joe’s.”

“And Trevor O’Neill — to the light he’ll be drawn
“When we wakes up and sees they’re all Curt Pringle’s spawn.
“Aided by a hate blogger who smirks as he pokes,
“The online version of a child’s fart jokes.”

“They’ll pillage, they’ll plunder, they’ll spend all our taxes
“(‘Til even Lucille will wish for Tom backsies!)
“In decades hereafter young children will rue
“The pro-Disney pillaging under Sidhu.”

“It won’t take 4 years for the Mayor’s seat to open
“When greed takes out Harry like a runner dopin’
“He’ll fall to temptation — those dollars from tourists —
“Then recall election (post-action by jurists.)”

“The glimmer of hope, however pequeño:
“With a 15-point lead, we kept Doctor Moreno!
“(Whose motions he’ll second, said Brandman to voters …
“Though always in private, quite far from take-noters.)”

“The news ain’t all bad, for there is a good word:
“Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor!” shall no longer be heard
“From the blonde robot gasbag who headed their faction
“Now jobless; soon friendless; career has lost traction.”

“We’ll stop them from putting our town into hock!
“We’ll fight off their kickbacks, pleading sticker shock!
“It’s no time for whiners, let’s stand and deliver!
“(Their brand new majority has cause to shiver.)”

“We’ll shame them in public with words they’ve inspired
“You needn’t send cash, just three minutes required!
“Our voices will raise, it’s our legal right!
“We’ll call for accounting if it takes all night!”

“We’ll stay at our labors, we’ll dig up their dirts!
“They can’t hide behind Carrie Nocella’s skirts!”
Then they heard there won’t be recounting of votes.
So they left the office and they cleared their throats!

“Come Gadflies! Come Activists! Pains-in-their-asses!
“They may have their titles, but we have the masses!
“We’ll rise to the challenge and all will be fine
“We’ll pound down their doors if they step out of line!

“We won’t ask Big Brother to lend us his bats
“We needn’t re-register as Democrats.
“Reformers, united, we’ll do what is needed
“We’ll thrive as if our ballot drive had succeeded!”

“They won’t drag our neighborhoods back where they’ve been
“For there’s lots more of US … and far fewer of THEM!
“Our homes’ truest values derive from “the ‘hood”:
“It’s Anaheim’s PEOPLE that make this place good!”

So as Tom packs his wetsuit and Julie’s bikinis —
(Laguna vacations for smores, beers. and weenies) —
The people will chant as they drive out of sight
“We ain’t giving in: We will stay here and FIGHT!

About Anaheim Insider

Identity suspected but unsure, Anaheim Insider is SOME slavish devotee of Curt Pringle and the Disney/Chamber kleptocracy in the OC's biggest city, and can always be counted on to spout their official line. [OK, he's a satirical character based on the anonymous "Anaheim Insider" who posts on Matt Cunningham's "AnaheimBlog.net", and is known for his tagline "Anaheim Insider here" and referring to Mr. Pringle as "The Great Man."] Oh, and of late, the editors have been using "Anaheim Insider" for non-satirical Anaheim-related pieces which are either collaborative or simple announcements.