A Special Message back to Marco Rubio’s wife Jeanette…

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(In response to a fundraising letter from Marco Rubio’s wife, printed below…)

Dear Mrs. Rubio (may I call you Jeanette?),

Thank you for this “special” message sent to me this morning (February 2nd) and for making me feel special in the process.

However, I am troubled by a few things with your approach. First, you are sending this message to me behind your husband’s back, which makes a decent person wonder what else you may be doing behind your husband’s back, both without him, and possibly worse, with him. Second, you give those damn liberals ammunition (the very word that makes Ted Nugent salivate) when they say, “The Republicans don’t even know what day it is…” Third, your message mentions that your husband is “fighting around the clock for my vote.” Wouldn’t we, as fellow Americans, be better served if he were fighting for America? In Iraq? Or Syria?

While I really like the elegance of his staff’s multiple donation buttons (created expressly for you), both in the quantity and in the redness, aren’t y’all stealing the term “chip in” from those sleazy progressives at MoveOn.org? I have always believed that EVERY Republican knew all knowable information about each and EVERY Republican candidate in this grand land of ours (well, soon to be ours again), and that we Republicans only refer to “chip in” as the explanation for how Phil Michelson maintains such a low scoring average while driving so wildly (even with his new swing).

I appreciate your grit and tenacity mounting Candidate Rubio’s third-rate (at least according to the Iowan count of Confederate Caucasian caucus cocktail napkins (conducted yesterday), with wack jobs Cruz and Cruisin’ for a Brusin’ taking over 50% of the paper stubs (equivalent of votes in normal primaries). And I feel your pain when you are attacked by bull dogs like Carly Fiorina, when she implies that the likes of Marco and “those people” belong in the shipping department while letting the real CEOs run the country.

In that regard, when marco rubio loses in New Hampshire, would you consider another path? Just before Jesus’ last birthday, Joe Torre and a MLB attorney met with Castro’s son regarding the genetic engineering used in the creation of superb, world-class baseball players. Things seem to be on the upswing down there, in more ways than one. Maybe it is time for an hombre of Marco’s stripes to become El Presidente of Cuba, so that your people, exiled for so many decades in the glades of Florida, may return to their island and take it back for a New Cuban Century (I know, Mark thinks that is what he is doing in Dallas, but he is just eccentric).

He could be a hero to so many people, not only in Cuba, but Florida, Israel, and the entire Middle East. With the Cuban Exiles returned to their proper place, it is just a matter of getting the white Confederates back to Georgia, Mississippi, and Alabama, where they belong, so that Florida can become what Allah has prescribed: The New Israel. Peace to the Middle East, and a perfect landing spot for the Israeli diaspora. Win/Win/Win. That spells heroic, in my book.

When those changes occur, the Confederates currently infecting America can be free to reform the CSA. They can live the dream…Cruz as their president and Trump as Secretary of State. Freedom from the chains of Federalism. Free to be you and me. Even Ted Nugent can find true happiness.

I am certain that President Sanders will not suffer the foolish delusions of Abraham Lincoln, nor his acolyte Barack Hussein Obama. His ego doesn’t need to be president of “all” the states. Only the American ones. That is good for America, good for Cuba, good for the CSA, good for Israelis, good for Persians and Arabs, and especially good for Ted Nugent. The Sunnis and the Shiites can finally live in peace after replacing the Salafis and their boorish sect of ISIS with the Egyptian Goddess Isis. Bob Dylan can write a song in commemoration.

America will finally become the country of inclusion; currently with the first African American president, followed by the first Jewish president, followed by Elizabeth Warren, the first female president – Nirvana!

And just think, it can all be initiated by your husband. Olé!

So, stop sneaking around behind his back. Share your newfound wisdom. Make history!

TRBlackEyeYour Fellow American,

The Reverend Black.

p.s. Would you be willing to take Hillary with you? I have heard she bakes really good cookies…

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Fellow American,

I didn’t tell Marco that I was going to send you this email, but I felt it was so important to reach out to you today.

Marco needs our support now more than ever. He has been fighting around the clock for your vote, and the primaries are finally here.

With the Iowa caucuses happening TODAY, the actions we take right now will determine who succeeds going forward. Every dollar you can afford to donate today will go immediately towards Marco’s Get-Out-The-Vote efforts and ensure he has the votes needed to win!

I would love to be able to call Marco tomorrow and tell him that you chipped in and we raised $50,000 today. So please, Fellow American, would you make a donation right now?

I asked Marco’s staff to help me create these instant donation buttons just for you. Will you please select the amount you can afford and send it to the campaign right away?

CHIP IN $5 >>>
CHIP IN $10 >>>
CHIP IN $15 >>>
CHIP IN $25 >>>
CHIP IN $50 >>>
CHIP IN $75 >>>
CHIP IN $100 >>>
CHIP IN $250 >>>
CHIP IN $500 >>>

Campaigning is not easy, nor is it for the faint of heart. We have met so many wonderful Americans like you out on the campaign trail, but unfortunately there are some out there who would just like to throw lies and attacks at Marco. When Marco made the decision to run for president, we knew that would be the case, but Fellow American, knowing we have your support and friendship has made this campaign all the better for our family.

I know the road ahead is only going to be tougher and the attacks are going to increase. That’s why we need to know that we can continue to count on you, Fellow American.

Will you please chip in $25 or whatever you can afford to share right now?

I am so grateful for your support. Every night Marco and I speak on the phone (when I’m not able to join him on the campaign trail), and he tells me the wonderful stories from the day and how he has met and spoken with conservative supporters like you.

I hope one day that we will see you out on the trail too. But in order to continue the campaign, he needs our increased support.

We’re in the final stretch before Iowa! Let’s show Marco he has our support!

Thank you for your friendship and loyalty. It means the world to our family.

Sincerely,

Jeanette Rubio

P.S. I can’t wait to share the results of this email with Marco. Marco’s campaign is fueled by the support of friends like you. If it weren’t for all of the donations received from emails like this one, we wouldn’t have a campaign at all. Please keep our campaign strong and allow Marco to continue his momentum by making an urgently needed contribution right now. Follow this link to make a secure online donation right away.

 

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