Buena Park Birther, Rev. Wiley Drake, running for President!

Don’t you think our great nation deserves a Presidential candidate this year who will REALLY stand up to Obama and the Democrats?

A candidate who, side-by-side with the stalwart Mission Viejo birther Orly Taitz, has filed dozens of lawsuits challenging the impostor Barack Hussein Obama‘s citizenship and legitimacy?

One who famously and publicly utters “imprecatory prayers” for the DEATH of this traitor – and not just for Obama’s death, but for the deaths of ALL Democrats who voted for the monstrous, Satanic obscenity known as OBAMACARE?

A candidate who has long and staunchly fought The Gay no matter how uncool that made him, leading a boycott of Disney for their pro-gay policies, while boldly proclaiming homosexuality “abnormal, biologically unhealthy, as well as contrary to Bible teaching?”  And who responded to the complaints of a secular group over his weighing in on politics from his First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park by praying for THEIR deaths as well?

Well, are you in luck!  I’ve just learned that my old acquaintance Wiley Drake, Baptist minister and Buena Park homeless advocate who’s done all of the above and more, has tossed his hat into the ring, to be your write-in candidate to take on the hated Muslim usurper!

So I gave Wiley a jingle to see exactly how he plans to make this Presidential run work, and what his purposes are.

First off, WTF?

Wiley decided six months ago that he had to run, because he could clearly see that no other candidates – certainly none of the four current Republican candidates – were really intent on making America, once again, “One Nation Under GOD.”

Wait a sec, what about Santorum? How much more theocratic can you get than that?  Well, for Wiley,  both Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich are guilty of the rankest hypocrisy  – while claiming to be for “little government,” they are stubborn funders of the most outrageous big government program of all:  Child Protective Services! (That’s actually how I know Wiley – last year we were both trying to help a mom get her kids back from CPS.  Long story…)

Mitt Romney of course is the worst of the bunch – not only a LIBERAL, but also a MORMON! *cough* *puke*  And Ron Paul cannot possibly be a Man of God, as he is a libertarian – and they believe, definitionally, in “if it feels good, do it!”  He would certainly not accept any of these four candidates offer to run as their running mate, as he did with Allan Keyes for the American Independent Party in 2008.  (He hasn’t yet decided who will be HIS running mate.)

Then I asked what we’d all like to know:  Whom would a President Wiley Drake put on the Supreme Court?  Again, he hasn’t come up with any particular names, but he does think that all Judges, including the Supremes, should no longer have lifetime appointments, but should be elected and regularly face re-election.  When I told him that would require a Constitutional amendment, he replied, “Well, not really, I don’t think.”

Foreign policy. Wiley, like most Americans, fails to see or remember why the hell we’re still in Afghanistan, and wants us out quickly.  As far as helping out with the Arab Spring rebellions, as Obama did in Libya and McCain is itching to do in Syria, he demurs:  we should pretty much stand back and let things take their course, and anyway that should be up to Congress, not the President.  On the other hand, what about the specter of Iran’s fabled and scary NUCLEAR BOMB? “We just shouldn’t let them get it!”  Um, okay, how do we do that?  “Well, we should just go over there and take it from them!”  Um, okay, that sounds like another war, doesn’t it?  “Well, no, not if we do it smart.”

As far as immigration policy, he agrees with most Americans BUT NOT MOST REPUBLICANS that we need to make the pathway to citizenshipmuch simpler and faster.”  (I’m not surprised to see him be relatively humane and realistic about this, given his constant work with the homeless and the underclass.)

Finally, how would President Wiley Drake fix the economy and bring back American jobs?  Why, that’s just the simplest thing in the world – the government just needs to stop borrowing, and stop spending money we don’t have!

So, over all, what do you think?  Laugh away, but how far, after all, are Wiley’s positions from the mainstream of today’s GOP?  What once seemed out-of-the-mainstream extreme is starting to be touched, caressed, even fondled by the Republican Party establishment:

  • While the four GOP frontrunners are not out-and-out birthers, prominent birthers like Donald Trump and Joe Arpaio do get their rings kissed by them in the quest for their endorsements;
  • Wiley’s overly harsh on Rick Santorum – a politician with a career behind him necessarily has some compromised votes, but the frothy ex-Senator, who is surging against Romney and may well be the nominee, is fully as theocratic as Wiley;
  • His bone-headed proclamations on Iran, gays, sexual autonomy and the economy are no more vague, nonsensical or wrong than those of Romney, Gingrich or Santorum;
  • He’s actually TO THE LEFT of the GOP field on immigration and Afghanistan.
  • Imprecatory death prayers are the only thing remaining of Wiley’s platform that the GOP hasn’t yet embraced.

So, what once seemed freaky and scary really doesn’t any more, as the Republican Party has madly chased their inner freaks off that cliff to the right.  If what Wiley said here makes good sense to you, as it well may if you’re a Republican, by all means write him in for President this year, and give a local boy and homeless activist a leg up! (Website still in progress.  Endorsements still forthcoming.)

About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official troubador of both Anaheim and Huntington Beach (the two ends of the Santa Ana Aquifer.) Performs regularly both solo, and with his savage-jazz quintet The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at vernpnelson@gmail.com, or 714-235-VERN.