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Queen Meg and Princess Carly, with their treasurer Mr. G. Sachs.
There is just no pleasing the working classes, and I cannot fathom why some of us try so hard. Not letting even a day go by after we sportingly went through the truly wearying charade of their “primary” “election,” the plebeians are up at dawn, lambasting us for some “hostile takeover” of California (which they apparently believe belongs to them.)
I hate to quote an upstart like Napoleon Bonaparte, but “a whiff of grapeshot” would have taught this mob a most salutary lesson. What don’t these peasants understand about noblesse oblige?
Ah, patience, I counsel myself. If my Thick-Necked Liege can tolerate this insolence with a stiff upper lip, certainly I can strive to follow her example. But why doesn’t this rabble appreciate that everything we do, we do for their benefit?
- The schools we intend to shut down have proven to be good only for increasing their knowledge, knowledge which can only lead to discontent such as we saw this morning.
- All the new prisons we have planned for them, finest on the globe, are for their safekeeping; under the close eye of trusty armed guards they will learn to accept their subservient lot in life with alacrity and good humor.
- Even those 40,000 jobs we intend to cut, over which they wail so tiresomely, will allow them unlimited, precious leisure time – a blessing I dearly miss myself during this hectic unpleasantry they call a “campaign.” (While allowing us, their betters, to further cut our taxes, and perhaps “trickle down” a little coinage into their grasping hands! Perhaps.)
I must say I am quite taken with Her Majesty’s new riding companion Princess Carly, the lovingly christened “Princess of Perks.” From a discreet distance, I have observed them eying each other coyly, the Princess’ false lashes all a-flutter, and Queen Meg positively drooling over the sight of her slim neck. Her Majesty is known to admire Carly’s epic offshoring of 28,600 Hewlett Packard jobs to tax havens like India and Ireland, her truly royal compensation while at the job, and her $21 million golden parachute for being fired – ahem, released like a songbird yearning for freedom.
So we press on, unappreciated by the unwashed masses but serene in the knowledge that what’s good for us is good for California, press on to vanquish those two vulgar “democrats,” those flatterers of the mob, whose names shall not sully these noble lips nor deflower the pixels of my tender laptop. Ta! And come venerate us on the Facebook.
Next in this series:
The Royaliste addresses the topic of Queen Meg’s Assault Charges.
You effete snob! I was there. I spoke for a while to a Meg Whitman staffer.
“Only in America!” she snipped, eying the protestors.
“Well, some other places too, but it’s a good thing,” I tried to agree.
Later she predictably said, “These people should get a job!”
I retorted, “They have jobs, they’re taking a couple hours off trying to protect their jobs. Your boss wants to lay off 40,000 of them!”
Her friend bizarrely replied, “Those 40,000 jobs are people just sitting around, watching porn!” I couldn’t think of a reply to that.
A little later, when the bus rolled up, the same lady bitched, “How much money did they waste painting that thing?” Yes. The lady who works for Queen Meg, who’s spent 80+ million on the race SO FAR, chews us out for spending a few thousand on the beautiful paint job you see above.
Was that you, “Royaliste?”
I soooo want to storm the Bastille………Let me know so I can get my weedereater
“Those 40,000 jobs are people just sitting around, watching porn”
LOL
Seriously, Lam. A Meg staffer – or, maybe it was just some important lady who was invited to her “victory party” – said that.
Maybe she thinks that because that’s what Ebay employees do all day. Heck, I know I would if my job is to be on the web all day long. I call it “research”.
Congratulations on your man Phu Nguyen, Vern. Hope he goes all the way.
Yeah, really I thought he’d do better than he did against a silly guy like Dovinh.
The way Melissa slaughtered Glover, or Mansoor slaughtered Long Pham.
Vern,
If Phu runs around telling voters he wants to raise taxes, he will meet the same fate that will meet Fox in November.
I hope Phu is smarter than that!
I heard eMeg boasting about how Jerry Brown is “politics as usual” on NPR today. She said she has “guts!” That from a woman who didn’t bother with politics or voting until she felt curious about this plebeian activity! I wonder if she’ll lose interest halfway into her project (like Sarah Palin) and decide she wants to buy some islands and just start her OWN government. Let’s see…ship the illegal aliens there for slave labor, have the Somali pirates be her navy, and spend the day tweeting and social-networking with friends for sound bites on Fox News. She’s the best leader money can buy!
Oh and I forgot to congratulate Art on his boy Hugh Nguyen. He came so close… man, just another 50 points and he would have won.
Lam,
Hugh has nothing to be ashamed of. He ran against an entrenched career politician who lied to voters by buying GOP slate mail.
In two years Daly will be running for Bill Campbell’s seat. If he wins, Hugh will have a shot at an open seat.
The bad news is that Daly will keep ripping us off for two more years.
Huh? Daly lives in the 4th, right?
Sidhu lives in the 3rd. He’s the one to watch.
David,
No. Sidhu is done. Daly has two years to move into the 3rd. Just watch. He will be running.
The governor and senate race will come down to picking the lesser of two evils. All four candidates suck.