Unpardonable Lèse Majesté: The Royaliste observes, with Disdain, this morning’s Whitman-Fiorina protests in Anaheim.


Queen Meg and Princess Carly, with their treasurer Mr. G. Sachs.

There is just no pleasing the working classes, and I cannot fathom why some of us try so hard.  Not letting even a day go by after we sportingly went through the truly wearying charade of their “primary” “election,” the plebeians are up at dawn, lambasting us for some “hostile takeover” of California (which they apparently believe belongs to them.)

I hate to quote an upstart like Napoleon Bonaparte, but “a whiff of grapeshot” would have taught this mob a most salutary lesson.  What don’t these peasants understand about noblesse oblige?

Ah, patience, I counsel myself.  If my Thick-Necked Liege can tolerate this insolence with a stiff upper lip, certainly I can strive to follow her example.   But why doesn’t this rabble appreciate that everything we do, we do for their benefit?

  • The schools we intend to shut down have proven to be good only for increasing their knowledge, knowledge which can only lead to discontent such as we saw this morning.
  • All the new prisons we have planned for them, finest on the globe, are for their safekeeping;  under the close eye of trusty armed guards they will learn to accept their subservient lot in life with alacrity and good humor.
  • Even those 40,000 jobs we intend to cut, over which they wail so tiresomely, will allow them unlimited, precious leisure time – a blessing I dearly miss myself during this hectic unpleasantry they call a “campaign.” (While allowing us, their betters, to further cut our taxes, and perhaps “trickle down” a little coinage into their grasping hands!  Perhaps.)

I must say I am quite taken with Her Majesty’s new riding companion Princess Carly, the lovingly christened “Princess of Perks.” From a discreet distance, I have observed them eying each other coyly, the Princess’ false lashes all a-flutter, and Queen Meg positively drooling over the sight of her slim neck.  Her Majesty is known to admire Carly’s epic offshoring of 28,600 Hewlett Packard jobs to tax havens like India and Ireland, her truly royal compensation while at the job, and her $21 million golden parachute for being fired – ahem, released like a songbird yearning for freedom.

So we press on, unappreciated by the unwashed masses but serene in the knowledge that what’s good for us is good for California, press on to vanquish those two vulgar “democrats,” those flatterers of the mob, whose names shall not sully these noble lips nor deflower the pixels of my tender laptop.  Ta!  And come venerate us on the Facebook.

Next in this series:

The Royaliste addresses the topic of Queen Meg’s Assault Charges.

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