Why McCain needs Farve as his VP!

John McCain is obviously fixated by “celebrity”!  Whoever he has advising him on his campaign either works for Budweiser or is a local Bud CEO….who believes that following in the footsteps of Bill and Hillary when they did the now infamous “Soprano” take-off ad – was a great idea.  Worse yet they still think that it actually worked!

OK what does McCain need…he has already alienated everyone under 30 by attacking Paris Hilton….not too smart Johnny Boy!  Well, he can still save his “Pampers”….if he just makes the right choice for Vice President.  Since he wasn’t legacied in…like George H.W. Bush…when he unjudiciously chose Mr. Jimmy Danforth Qualye as his Vice President……or when Bill Clinton chose “The man that invented…all inventions!” – the inimitable Al Gore…and he wasn’t the man that chose someone who would never challenge the President because of course…”he was really the President”….Dick Cheney….or…Good Grief…Mr. McCain…we are begging you to make a real race out of this; up to this point – very stupid Presidential campaign and choose our favorite: Brett Farve as your running mate!

Brett Farve is the perfect running mate for McCain.  He can flip-flop with impunity….he can make everyone in the room uncomfortable by just being in the area….and he is incredibly popular….no matter what he does!  Brett is now scheduled to play for the New York Jets in the fall.  This is perfect for McCain…he gets a candidate from the “Eastern Establishment”….picks up the State of New York in the electoral battle and still gets a guy that wears Wrangler Jeans…..thus securing the Western vote.  Oh did we say the boy comes from Mississippi…..wow….we are talking about really capturing the entire Southern Vote…along with every member of the “Tailgaters In America” and those “Johnville Brats”!  We are talking Experience, we are talking consistency and we are talking celebrity!

Ok, there are a few problems with this suggestion….we understand that Farve may….after careful consideration….after they are elected…..that he really wants to be President.  Afterall, who else could guarantee taking the State of Wisconsin?  Or, perhaps…..Brett may want to be the “Secretary of Defense”….just to show he can do both: Offense and Defense!  Hey, there is even a chance that Brett will be traded to another NFL Team from the Jets prior to election day!  The good news is that Brett and his beautiful wife have their own Private Plane that can get them anywhere…overnight!  Be able to make those policy speeches in California one day and Ohio the next will be very important campaign concerns.  McCain already has “Cindy My Cindy” -his; “This Bud’s for you…” Corporate jet!

The McCain campaign of course is waiting for Senator Obama to make his choice first…thinking he would have the “wind at his back” by making the last selection in the “Presidential VP Sweepstakes”!  “Au Contrare….Senator, Wrinkled, White Haired Guy!”  These times call for bold and decisive action!  Brett Farve is your man….no doubt.  He said he was going to retire last year!  He changes his mind this year!  He said he would never play for any team other than the “Green Bay Packers”.  He is now scheduled to play for the New York Jets!  But hey….there is a lot of time before Republican Convention; things could change appreciably!  There is also an off the Vegas line chance that Obama could choose Brett as “his” running mate!  You will be broken hearted of course if that happens and will have to choose Donald Trump!  Unless of course Brett decides to play for Chicago, Minnesota or Denver!

Senator McCain: Please try not to use that Trump Card…if you don’t have to!  Just make Brett the offer he can’t refuse!