OJ Exclusive: the long-awaited Debbie Cook Song!


“… he [Dana?] slipped into the first shadows trying to hide a shame which was in the public domain and which everyone commented upon on the street, it gave birth to an anonymous song which the whole country knew except him, even the parrots sang it in the courtyards … wild parrots learned it from tame parrots, budgies and mockingbirds learned it from them and they carried it off in flocks beyond his measureless realm of gloom, and in all the skies of the nation one could hear at dusk that unanimous voice of fleeting multitudes who sang … an endless song to which everybody even the parrots added verses to mock the security services of the state who tried to capture it, military patrols in full battle dress broke down courtyard doors and shot down the subversive parrots on their perches, they threw whole bushels of parakeets alive to the dogs, a state of siege was declared in an attempt to extirpate the enemy song so that no one would discover what everybody knew…..”

– Gabriel García Marquez, Autumn of the Patriarch

I guess what I’m trying to say is we’ve finally finished mixing down the song “I Got a Crush on Debbie Cook,” which you can hear if you click below; now we are going to start on the video for the sort of viral YouTube that didn’t exist in the days of García Marquez’ patriarch, but will be comparable to the situation outlined above. E-mail me (ChezVern@aol.com) if you’d like to help with the video! Click “read more” for the lyrics of the song (and fun Photoshops!) 🙂


( Intro: Three power-chord secret code: )

D e Bb ie C ook

I got a crush on Debbie Cook,
you know she’ll make history!
Getting Debbie into Congress is a matter of urgency.
Oh wouldn’t it be nice to have a Congressperson that represents you and me?
Why don’t you help us send Debbie Cook to Washington DC?

Costa Mesa, Fountain Valley, Huntington Beach,
our time has come at last!
These two decades of embarrassment will soon be a thing of a past.
From Rancho Palos Verdes down the coast to Seal Beach,
We’re taking back our liberty.
We need your help to send Debbie Cook to Washington DC!

I’ll never forget (’89)
when they tried to build a mall and a golf course right on our beach!
With the whole City Hall in their pocket,
it seemed like victory was out of our reach.
(tell us more, tell us more!)
But then we met in her livingroom, plotting strategy week by week,
and it took two years
but the people prevailed
and the beach was saved,
and that’s only one reason why
I got a crush on Debbie Cook: the time for a change is here!
It’s high time to repudiate the politics of hate and fear.
Oh wouldn’t it be nice to have a Congressperson
with just a little sanity?
Get off your butt and help Debbie Cook get to Washington DC!

I’ll never forget when I gave up surfing:
the water here was making me ill!
Turned out they were spewing out sewage,
soiling the sea with a sickly swill! (Ewww!)
But by then Debbie Cook was on Council and she put a stop to this travesty,
and it’s taken a while
but it’s much less vile
and it’s making me smile
‘cos we’re going out to surf again!
I got a crush on Debbie Cook: we need change desperately!
Bush and Cheney Yes-Men just have to go on the ash-heap of history.
Oh wouldn’t it be nice to have a Congressperson
who understands energy?
We need your help to send Debbie Cook to Washington DC!

“I got a crush on Debbie Cook…”

“¡Estoy enamorado de Debbie Cook!”

“Debbie Cook,

chúng toi yeu mén

va ung ho Co!”


About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official troubador of both Anaheim and Huntington Beach (the two ends of the Santa Ana Aquifer.) Performs regularly both solo, and with his savage-jazz quintet The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at vernpnelson@gmail.com, or 714-235-VERN.