Powered by Max Banner Ads
Some unfortunate bloggers did not survive the Great Migration to WordPress Pass, way back in two-thousand-aught-eight. We turned back to look at the fallen, clenched our teeth, and pressed on.
Rocks rained on us from left and right; rival blogs wishing us ill prowled on all sides waiting for a sign of weakness, but we soldiered on grimly through the rocks and snow.
Posts labored over and cherished for weeks fell by the wayside; comments tumbled down the rocky mountainsides and plummeted off sheer cliffs, never to be responded to.
Having heard nothing from frail young Aria for quite some time, we found him just clinging to life, trembling beside a boulder. One blogger WHO SHALL GO UNNAMED tried to convince us to finish him off and eat him – “It’s what Aria would have wanted,” the famished miscreant protested – but Art intervened and Sarah nursed Aria back to health.
One special post – authored by Thomas Gordon, lambasting Debbie Cook for her oil investments – tumbled headlong into the river and vanished into the rapids, arms flailing. I wept as I watched it disappear into the white water, as I had prepared the perfect riposte.
Above on a high cliff, Bolsavic gave us some sort of native “all’s clear” signal, while behind him Gustavo gestured in semaphore, bringing strength to our exhausted hearts.
At that moment we knew that, despite having lost absolutely everything, despite being reduced to King Lear’s “unacommodated man: a poor bare forked creature,” that around the bend awaited a new future, a world of possibilities limited only by our imagination and boldness. We would start from nothing, from ground zero, like so many pilgrims and pioneers before us, and we would build a dazzling new blog out of nothing but our hopes, dreams, and the virginal pixels of a wild and untamed land.
Witnessed this fourteenth day of May, in the Year of our Lord 2008.