1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cu
rsive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions at step 5. (I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.)
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection….again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this — ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? D*** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
Number 1 and 2 are hilarious… perhaps because there’s more truth to it than we want to admit.
Thanks for the laugh.
Why is it that the paper toilet seat cover falls into the toilet right when you’re about to sit down and you REALLY have to go!
Dan Avery comment accidentally (?) deleted by Larry Gilbert:
I like #7, 8, and 10 best; I tried to teach #10 to my fiction-writing students…
(I think he said more; sorry Dan it’s gone now.)
#17 Vern. Definitely. I’ll give you mine, you give me yours. LOL
Thanks, Vern. Odd that Larry should be policing your thread. 🙂 I’ve been sitting here trying to remember what else I might have said, but it’s gone. I used to have a terrific memory for that sort of thing. It looks like you got my semi-colon usage right; I tend to structure sentences like that.
Crowley, if I ever call you on the phone, I think you will recognize me… by my Heavy Breathing. LOL