The Galloway Origin Myth, with gaps filled in.

HAPPY NATIONAL DOG WEEKEND! You ever notice how some dogs, after relieving themselves on grass or cement, will quickly make the motion of kicking in the direction of their mess as though they were kicking dirt or leaves over what they’ve done, even though there are no dirt or leaves at hand, and then they just happily trot away, even though their mess remains in plain sight and smell? It’s just some kind of vestigial reflex I suppose, and it’s kind of funny. Except you still have to pick up that mess.

[Galloway with Bella, in fake home during her 2010 run for Supervisor
in a district where everyone knew she didn’t live]

You’re probably aware that perennial “Democrat” spoiler candidate Lorri Galloway is running again for Anaheim Mayor, reprising her 2018 role when she took just enough Democrat votes away from Ashleigh Aitken to throw the election and give us three and a half dark years of Harry Sidhu. Several wealthy men, who now regret what they did, tell me they gave to Lorri’s campaign that year because they wanted Harry to win.

There were a few months recently, from late May when Sidhu resigned in disgrace, till August 13 when Trevor O’Neil finally admitted he was running to be the new Cabal Mayor, that Galloway apparently thought she really might win, that it was gonna be a two-woman race between her and Ashleigh, and she turned all her jealous fury against the well-heeled blond from the Hills. At one point Galloway even tried to pass as the Cabal candidate, telling Matt Cunningham that she opposes not only a Gate Tax but even Campaign Finance Reform, and that Ashleigh is too hostile to the Resort district.

Didn’t work. The Cabal doesn’t trust Lorri any more than anyone else does, and I was TELLING everyone that Trevor would run for Mayor even though he was faking that he wasn’t. Well, now Lorri is once again the spoiler candidate, her purpose this time being to take just enough votes away from Ashleigh so that scandal-plagued Trevor can lead us through the next four years!

ANYWAY. During that three-month period, on June 9, Galloway held a “campaign kickoff” in front of her nonprofit thrift shop, for which she had prepared a speech. As we all know, she didn’t end up giving that speech but instead improvised a rant-&-rave against Ashleigh and us protesters. (Video below.) But later she sent her prepared “remarks” off to her loyal blogger Dan Chmielewski, who went ahead and posted them on the Liberal OC, deceptively or erroneously, as “Remarks from Lorri Galloway Kickoff.

Well, I read it objectively and with interest, hoping to learn something. In the first third of her “remarks,” she complains about being ill-treated while on Council 2004-12, lets loose with her Class Envy of Ashleigh, and writes the puzzling sentence “Too many politicians place political correctness ahead of transparency which I believe can lead to ineffectiveness.” I wonder what Lorri thinks “political correctness” means, what she thinks “transparency” means, how she thinks those two things are contradictory, and what politicians she’s referring to. It’s a flighty little mind in that skull!

But the bulk of her “remarks” are autobiographical, an attempt to spin a Galloway Origin Myth, with an emphasis on the decades from the late 70’s when she arrived in OC from Salinas to around the turn of the century when the Eli Home became what it is. She really should have left that period alone. Try reading her account and notice the huge puzzling gaps or “lacunae.” Despite her furtive kicks, there was no dirt or leaves at hand to cover up her mess:

.…My husband Mike and I married at 17 years old, right out of high school and headed to Southern California to start a new life looking at our old life in the rear view mirror. We went to college with a clear vision of success. Things seemed to come easy for us. In our early 20’s we had a home in Anaheim Hills and at the same time a beach home overlooking the ocean in San Clemente and drove a Porsche. We had enough money to buy a bowling alley in Garden Grove.

Wait, something is missing here. How was this young couple from Salinas suddenly able to afford all these things in ’80’s OC? There HAS to be an interesting answer but she doesn’t say, and why would she leave it out? I’m told that Mike worked as a handyman, and even that he is a really good handyman, but handymen can’t afford all those things on handyman wages. Thank God for that “Lorri Galloway Fun Facts” video, which contains a lot of the information missing in these “remarks!”

We, of course, did our homework and the business was making money. We were looking forward to it being the first of many future acquisitions. What we didn’t know was that the profit of the business came from LGBT leagues. [???] It was the late 70’s and that kind of business was kept secret. But they were the kindest, most generous people and very grateful for our acceptance. We had wonderful new friends and we were introduced to world we didn’t know existed.

Then the AIDS pandemic hit in the early 80’s and, if you recall, gay people were blamed for all of it and hatred for them was at the highest level. They left for their own safety and we were left with a failed business. We were about to lose everything. We sought advice from anyone we could. Failure just wasn’t in our trajectory plans.

So… the reason the Galloways’ Garden Grove bowling alley failed is that it was dependent on gay bowling leagues, who either died from AIDS or stopped bowling due to the meanness of AIDS-era homophobes? This doesn’t sound quite right… and of course it’s not. We’ll look at this claim real soon, but sounds like she’s once again hiding in the skirts of other folks’ tragedies.

We found our way back to church and found our faith. A pastor told us about bankruptcy being the best option for us because we were still so young and we could start all over again instead of spending the next 10 or 15 years trying to keep things together. Bankruptcy was the last thing we wanted, but turned out to be the best thing for us because it brought us to understand what the destiny of our lives would be. The Eli Home for Abused Children was founded shortly afterwards…

I don’t know if it was a pastor or not who told them to try bankruptcy, but as it turns out bankruptcy really WAS the best thing for them, at least judging by the number of times they declared it. (Which we’ll also see soon.) But what’s with the sudden shift to passive voice with the Eli Home? It “was founded?” I thought the Galloways founded it. (Sounds like in a police report, when “an officer-involved shooting” suddenly “occurred.”)

I have lived a destined life. Everything that has happened in my life brings me to this place, this space, and this time. There is no one better than me to be the next mayor of the Great City of Anaheim. It’s now my time. I will serve faithfully, with all of my heart and with all that I am. I humbly ask for your support.

Yes, there is nobody better than her, and she asks for your support with humility. God says it’s LORRI’S TIME! But let’s consult the Mayor Daly-era (early-2000’s) investigator Thomas Maslin, for a little gaps-filling.

So then, let’s try this again, more honestly. The FOLLOWING is what she SHOULD have written (what’s in bold is what I helpfully added for her) :

My husband Mike and I married at 17 years old, right out of high school and headed to Southern California to start a new life looking at our old life in the rear view mirror. We went to college with a clear vision of success. Things seemed to come easy for us, through “deceit and fraud” as several courts have concluded.

Mike’s aunt up in Salinas, Barbara Russell, was experiencing financial difficulties and asked if we could help. We said okay, and we took her home in a TRUST, allowing her to stay in it, while holding the title to that house under a mutual agreement. A contract. Unbeknownst to Aunt Barbara, we obtained THREE DIFFERENT LOANS against that house! And whoops, and we DEFAULTED on all those loans! 🙁

In any case that’s how we were able to have a home in Anaheim Hills, and a beach home overlooking the ocean in San Clemente, AND drive a Porsche, in our early 20’s! We even bought a bowling alley in Garden Grove, with nice gay bowling leagues.

Oh, Aunt Barbara? She had no idea about the loans we’d taken out on her home, or that we’d defaulted on them, until she suddenly started getting foreclosed on. She sued us up in Monterey County and prevailed; a judgment was entered against us, but did we pay? Hell no! Aunt Barbara died penniless! (Monterey County Judgment Lien Case #78978)

Remember that gay Garden Grove bowling alley? We had bought it from the Palmers, an elderly couple in Long Beach, and it sat on land owned by the Kellogg Corporation. We defaulted on the Palmers AND we defaulted on the Kellogg Company – whoops! 🙁 Another lawsuit against us, another judgment against us, by now there were THREE major judgments pending against us! Uh-oh…

We found our way back to church and found our faith. A pastor told us about bankruptcy being the best option for us, to avoid paying our debts, and boy was he right! We declared BK and had the judgements set aside – WHEW! Praise the Lord! (Galloway Bankruptcy Chap 7 #84-03739)

Bankruptcy was the last thing we wanted, but turned out to be the best thing for us because it brought us to understand what the destiny of our lives would be – we started the ELI MINISTRIES, a “nonprofit” California corporation.

We opened a shelter in Orange, and defaulted on that lease. Another lawsuit was involved, another judgment, another court case, more attorney fees for the idiots who were dumb enough to trust us, LOL! We moved across the street and opened another shelter THERE, defaulted on THAT lease, another court case, another judgment, more attorney fees… but by now we knew how to deal with that! Eli Ministries filed bankruptcy in federal court, and the judgments were set aside. (Eli Ministries Bankruptcy Chap 7 #86-06859)

So we decided to start Eli HOME, a new company. And we started a THRIFT STORE – which operated on a cash-only basis. No checks, no credit cards, no receipts. That reminds me – we previously had another thrift store. We had a contractual agreement with that property owner, but we got thrown out. Ten thousand dollar lawsuit, but I think we only paid them 5,000. (Galloway Bankruptcy Chap 13 #88-00s67)

For a while we operated out of the city of Fullerton, a business on Commonwealth. The owners of the office complex asked us to leave, threatened us with a lawsuit; we left without paying any rent, even though we were there for four months – that showed him! The Eli Home is now in its 39th year of operation, and there are no regrets. You heard that right, NO REGRETS!

I have lived a destined life. Everything that has happened in my life brings me to this place, this space, and this time. There is no one better than me to be the next mayor of the Great City of Anaheim. It’s now my time. I will serve faithfully, with all of my heart and with all that I am. I humbly ask for your support.

So, was THAT better?

About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official political troubadour of Anaheim and most other OC towns. Regularly makes solo performances, sometimes with his savage-jazz band The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at vernpnelson@gmail.com, or 714-235-VERN.