Barney Wewak Condemns Carpetbaggers

Dear Readers, we have just received a communication from our old Friend – 1974 Troy High School exchange student and Papuan Highlands tribe Headman, B’rni “Barney” Wewak, who opines on the subject of political carpetbaggers. The text has been faithfully translated from the original Sepik dialect, as ever, by the FFFF Australo/Oceania Languages and Linguistics Department .

Barney Wewak shares the wisdom of his ancestors...

Greetings, dear friends in beautiful Southern California, where a beneficent sun shines warmly upon the succulent bosoms of your beautiful womenfolk and luscious orange fruit is plucked freely from every tree!

News has reached me that in your upcoming election for County Headman, the people of my wonderful adopted Fullerton have been plagued by a swarm of outsiders pretending to be your friends and who want to lead you. Do not be fooled for an instant!

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