Redistricting Fever – Catch It!

Redistricting fever is sweeping the Golden State faster than swine flu hysteria.  California voters have taken redistricting from the legislature’s greasy palms, and put it in their own sweaty mitts.  Now, you too can draw legislative districts (no previous experience required) by signing up for the Citizens Redistricting Commission.  Special interests of every shape and size are scrambling to stake their claims at the State Auditor’s new website.  Don’t get left out of this gold rush, sign up now!

Redistricting is not just for crooked lawmakers, anymore.  Now, you can gerrymander your own districts with the Voters FIRST Act.  California voters passed this law in November 2008.  The law creates a Citizens Redistricting Commission to draw electoral boundaries for the California Assembly, Senate, and Board of Equalization.  The Voters First Act empowers (faceless bureaucrat) state auditors to select a pool of 60 registered voters (political hacks, perhaps) from the applicant pool.  (Legislative leaders are permitted to reduce the pool – oops, fine print.)  Auditors then pick eight commissars by lottery.  These eight pick six more – voila, the Citizens Redistricting Commission!

With ultimate power on the line, special interests are signing up from every conceivable (and inconceivable) political, religious, ideological, and biological persuasion.  Pro-LGBT activists want lines drawn to reflect their interests.  And, so should you!  There is no ideology too extreme, no belief too ignorant, no idea too kooky, no fetish too kinky, no desire too trivial!  The Citizens Redistricting Commission must reflect California!

Don’t let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity pass you by! Sign up, now! Faceless bureaucrats are standing by!

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