It’s unanimous – Claudia Alvarez to continue as Santa Ana’s Mayor Pro Tem!

Called it!  I posted this article back on December 12, predicting that the Santa Ana City Council would once more appoint Councilwoman Claudia Alvarez to be Santa Ana’s Mayor Pro Tem.  And sure enough tonight that is what they did, by a 7-0 vote.  Here is my original post – a word of warning, it is a spoof!

Well, Santa Ana Mayor Miguel Pulido and his Team got sworn in this week, but we will have to wait until their next Council Meeting to see who ends up becoming the next Santa Ana Mayor Pro Tem.  Currently Claudia Alvarez is filling that role.

We recently secretly bugged Pulido’s office.  Here is the transcription of the audio footage from a recent meeting between Pulido and his team regarding this very issue…

Miguel Pulido: OK – is everyone here?

Claudia Alvarez: Who cares as long as I am here?  You know Miguel that I got over 40,000 votes in this year’s election.

Vince Sarmiento: C’mon Claudia.  Give it a rest.  I had to run against a nice white guy!  Your opponent didn’t even have a ballot statement!

Claudia Alvarez: You better watch it Vince or I will tell everyone that you live in Orange Park Acres with your Mom!

Sal Tinajero: Oh man, that is low.

Claudia Alvarez: Shut up Sal!  Or I will vote to pull your boy Sean off of Planning!  I am still mad at him for not backing Carlos this year.

Carlos Bustamante: Listen guys, can’t we get on with this?  I am practicing becoming a juggler and my class is coming up at 5 pm.

David Benavides: I wish I could juggle!  By the way, do you know of any jobs over at the County?  As you know I work at Downey Savings and it is not good right now.  We are laying people off left and right!

Carlos Bustamante: I keep telling you David, you need to become a Republican so I can get you a job at Supervisor Janet Nguyen’s office.  You know that she is looking for a new Latino employee now that the last one quit.

Miguel Pulido: OK, ok let’s get on with it.  We need to pick a new Mayor Pro Tem.

Michele Martinez: Why not stay with Claudia?  She can run a meeting fairly well.

Claudia Alvarez: Shut up you damn drug dealer!

Miguel Pulido: Claudia, she is saying you should stay as Mayor Pro Tem.

Claudia Alvarez: I don’t have to take this Miguelito!  I got way more votes than you man!

David Benavides: Chill out Claudia…

SLAP!  Claudia Alvarez slaps the Hell out of David Benavides.

David Benavides: Ow!  Oh man that really hurts.  I think I need to sit down…

Sal Tinajero: I caught that on my cell phone video camera!  Hello YouTube!

Claudia Alvarez:  Oh no you don’t!

Miguel Pulido: That’s enough Claudia!  Calm down.

Pulido snaps his fingers and Alex “Swap Meet” Vega jumps out from under his desk.

Alex “Swap Meet” Vega:  Si boss?

Miguel Pulido: Vega I need you to restrain Claudia.

Alex “Swap Meet” Vega:  Orale!

Claudia Alvarez: Aye Dios mio!

SMASH!  Suddenly former Councilwoman Lisa Bist smashes through Pulido’s window in some kind of black Ninja outfit.

Lisa Bist: Back off Vega!  I have Nunchucks and I know how to use them!

Miguel Pulido: OK, that’s it!  I’m calling in Ream!

Pulido reaches for his phone and he buzzes City Manager Dave Ream.

Dave Ream: Hello?

Miguel Pulido:  Dave, were you sleeping again?

Dave Ream: I don’t know!  Who is this?

Miguel Pulido: You know, it’s me Miguel!

Dave Ream: Who?

Miguel Pulido: Oh forget it!

Pulido hangs up the phone.

Vince Sarmiento: Look, let’s just vote for Claudia again.

Claudia Alvarez: I win!

Miguel Pulido: All those in favor?

All: Aye!

Alex Vega: Can I still restrain her boss?

All: Shut up Vega!

David Benavides: I really think we need to say a closing prayer now.

All: Shut up David!

Carlos Bustamante: Look at me!

Bustamante proceeds to juggle one ball.

Miguel Pulido: Well, that’s it.  Let’s go home. Vega – go start up the veggie car.

Alex Vega: You got it boss!  Arriba, arriba!

Vega zooms away…leaving a cloud of dust.

So there you go folks.  Claudia Alvarez will once again continue as Santa Ana’s Mayor Pro Tem.  Adios!

About Admin

"Admin" is just editors Vern Nelson, Greg Diamond, or Ryan Cantor sharing something that they mostly didn't write themselves, but think you should see. Before December 2010, "Admin" may have been former blog owner Art Pedroza.