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As an incredible affront to right-thinking Americans everywhere, the Miss American Pageant has chosen as our national representative to the Miss Universe competition an Indian-American woman who is … from New York! They chose a NEW YORKER over a CALIFORNIAN!
I think I speak for Californians everywhere when I say that our Indian-American women are every bit as beautiful and talented as this Nina Davuluri contestant from New York. What’s wrong with California, pageant judges? We’re not surly enough for you? I protest. Furthermore, our contestant’s answer about what to do regarding Syria was arguably better than Obama’s — and certainly more brief.
Of course, some other protest is going around the Intertubes right now based on Miss New York somehow not being “a real American.” Some examples:
An Asian and an Indian?? I thought this was Miss America!?
How the fuck does a foreigner win miss America? She is a Arab!
This is Miss America … Not Miss Foreign Country!
Miss America ’s name does not sounds very American…
Don’t listen to those people, pageanteers — they’re assholes. And if it takes our choosing a Miss New York for this honor to expose their ugly souls, and to piss them off — then I guess it may be worth it. So: congratulations on becoming Miss American, Miss … sigh … New York.
(P.S. Hey, you New Yorkers: if you can find vegetarian Indian food in 50 tries of random restaurants in Manhattan or Brooklyn that’s better that what you can get at Radhe’s Sweets & Catering in West Anaheim (Lincoln and Grand), I’ll be shocked. No, going to Jackson Heights in Queens does not count. (If you check Radhe’s out, tell them that the Orange Juice Blog sent you!)