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IRL, Mitt does not do his own wet work. He has people for that.
a.k.a. Who is Killing the Great Candidates of Teabaggerdom?
“Killed,” here, is a metaphor, obviously, although an appropriate one for a sanguinary Halloween. Mitt Romney’s rivals merely get assassinated — character assassinated, I mean, of course — and bounce out of top rank of competition to fall with a splat into the second tier of candidates — or out of the race altogether.
Romney has been the front-runner for the 2012 Republican nomination since John McCain closed down his campaign (in September, I mean, not November), especially after Huckabee went with his true nature and stuck around panning for gold on Fox News. He has, however, continually trailed the major opposition, variously known as “Not-Romney,” “Anybody but Romney,” and “Arrrgghh!”
Just think about it. Palin — scandalated. Trump — shivved in the starting gate. Pawlenty — actually, I don’t remember if there was a scandal there; I recall almost nothing about the man. Bachmann — suddenly attacked on her husband’s sexuality and business ethics, then some unknown woman from Florida fed her a line about vaccines. Perry was lured into the race, despite the warnings of Karl Rove, and his scandals suddenly came streaming out (combined, of course, with his somnabulistic debating style. Now Herman Cain comes to the fore — and this weekend the sexual harassment accusations comes out.
Of course, as candidates get taken more seriously, information about them is always more likely to leak out. But — like clockwork? The most dangerous position in the world right now is between Mitt Romney and the Republican nomination. Things … happen to you there. Bad things. Of course, Perry should not have been surprised that his demons came out, and Cain knew about the sexual harassment complaints that he doesn’t know about, and Bachmann knew that her husband was … well, maybe she didn’t (and doesn’t.) No wonder Chris Christie decided not to run — and immediately (and, some thought, unexpectedly) endorsed Romney. No wonder that Mitt Daniels didn’t run — one just wonders what sort of decapitated animal (or human) head he may have awakened to find in his bed.
After a while one has to wonder whether Mitt Romney — to whom no scandal (financial, of course, not sex) can stick — is merely very lucky, or whether he is making his own luck. Or maybe his luck is being made for him: when we say that Mitt Romney is the Establishment candidate, remember that that Establishment includes Fox News (which savaged Perry’s debate performances after he rose in the polls with an ardor normally reserved for Democrats) and, from what one can tell, other corporate television networks as well.
In a classic episode of the original Star Trek, “Mirror Mirror” — if you’re of a certain age or bent you’ll recognize it in two words: “bearded Spock” — the Enterprise in an alternative universe (to which Captain Kirk and a few crewmembers have been whisked) is run as a pirate ship, where one advances by challenging and killing one’s superior. No sane person would challenge the Captain, though. They don’t know that his paramour, the “Captain’s Woman,” has procured an alien device that allows her to call up any person on her screen and delete him like an e-mail for Ca$h-4-G@ld; they just know that people who stand up to the Bizarro World Captain Kirk inevitably die. One wonders if Republican contenders are starting to feel that way about Mitt.
Of course, it could all be a matter of natural processes of media tearing down the leader taking their course. Of course, one has to explain why, if this is true, Newt Gingrich remains in the race. (My guess: he’s built up an immunity to scandal. People just shrug when you tell then that Gingrich sold his nieces into sex slavery and cock and eyebrow at your as if you just don’t understand how the world works.) Of course, one has to explain why, if this is true, Jon Huntsman is still in the race. (That’s easier: he makes Mitt look conservative by comparison, and Mitt is craving that right now.) Of course, one has to explain why Rick Santorum in the race. (Attempt 1: it’s inexplicable. Attempt 2: Romney is keeping him reserve to be his final competitor for the nomination, because even Republicans would rather nominate Nancy Pelosi than Rick Santorum. Attempt 3: Romney is keeping him around because he’s convinced himself that choosing Santorum as VP both solidifies him with the Tea Party and wins him the commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Do not underestimate possibility #3: Romney is plenty clueless.)
And yet, there is this nagging question: is there really no dirt on Romney himself (other than, you know, taking over corporations and “fixing” them by firing loyal employees, something that the Obama team may be saving to talk about for next year.) Yes, he’s robotic and clueless; yes, he flip-flops like a centipede trying to run across a pancake griddle; yes, he has been forced to stake out some r-r-r-r-r-r-ridiculous policy positions in the primary, but come one: if the Obama campaign could ensure that Herman Cain got the nomination, don’t you think that they’d be doing it”? That they aren’t suggests, mainly, that they can’t.
And so anyone who takes on the Anti-Romney pole position against “Mr. 25% support” gets pole-axed.
Some of you out there are Tea Partiers, right? May we speak frankly? I want to know something.
We can see, pretty clearly, where this is heading. Republicans are going to throw candidate after candidate after Romney, but no one is going to get traction because of some heretofore undreamed-of (OK, not for Bachmann) scandal, and eventually Mitt is going to get nominated by default. And then he’s going to tack hard to the center — it doesn’t matter what he’s said before; once you have a reputation as a flip-flopper what’s a few more flips? — and repudiate most of what you guys stand for, ever (and maybe especially) the better parts of it!
What are you going to do? If there’s a third party challenge by someone like, say Bachmann, are you going to squash it? Will we get to hear more reports about her husband eats corn dogs? (And yes, I know that the lefty blogosphere is complicit in pushing these memes: we can’t help ourselves!) But you guys: when push comes to shove, are you really going to put up with it?
If no Republican candidate can stop Mitt Romney, will you?
You are busy posting, you little rascal….. Huh?
“Little Rascal!” Finally, an idea for a Halloween costume for tonight! Now if I can just raise a proper Alfalfa cowlick on my bald head.
Old Romney, the multi-millionaire, in his own caring words: “Don’t try and stop the foreclosure process. Let it run its course and hit the bottom, allow investors to by homes…”. This is not the man i invision saving our country from the fiscal and social issues that we face. His views are at times hard line and i would hate to imagine my america shaped in his view of the world.
I’m glad to see that you’re carrying on the liberal media mantra of just print it, whether or not you have any sources to back it up, Diamond. And way to channel Hilda Solis and the other classless liberals with your smearing of the Tea Party. How are those Occupy rallies going by the way? Thugs, criminals, trash, human waste, vandalism, etc. Yeah, that’s way better than the Tea Party rallies.
Newb, what ARE you going on about? It seems to me this was a humorous, Halloween-themed post. Nobody is really saying that Romney is having his rivals killed.
And then his last few paragraphs were a QUESTION to you. Are you going to support the centrist Romney over the centrist Obama once all this primary kabuki is over?
I laughed when the MSM jumped all over this.
The story leaked to POLITICO (which is an alternative newspaper turned legitimate when they opened a webpage????) was obviously by the GOP machine who are scared shitless of a guy like Cain (think Abrador in Mexico).
So they had Rove dig some shit up and three days later here you are.
What’s amazing is the lap dogs at NBC, MSNBC and ABC play right into it.
Even more amazing was the response, which should have faked a punch to the nose and sent Mitt a knee to the nuts.
Politico was started by three top writers for the Washington Post. It was never an alternative newspaper; it was never non-establishment at all.
Politico supposedly gave the story to his campaign (Mark Block, maybe) ten days before the story hit. It is not clear, though, whether that news ever made it back to Cain.
It most certainly was an alternative paper in DC. It’s along side and used the same way the VV papers are. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean alternative means massage ad’s and stories about bongs. But for sure it was an alternative to the news source of the day.
Despite being owned by a disney cronie, it was NEVER reputable, but often read by “politico’s” ie staffers. What changed, the internet and the assignment structure of the DC branches of the media.
From Wikipedia’s entry: “After the liberal watchdog group Media Matters for America accused Politico of having a ‘Republican tilt’, Politico’s Ben Smith answered: ‘Media Matters has a point: …that Bush’s public endorsement made us seem too close to the White House. That was clearly a favor from the president to us (albeit a small one), and felt to me like one of those clubby Beltway moments that make the insiders feel important and the outsiders feel (accurately) like outsiders.'”