No-longer US Attorney Bill Essayli. Framed, in the assclown manner,
by Denver’s tribute to the MAGA Faceplant Guy, “Sonic Boomer.”
We know that Bill Essayli was a Republican Assemblyman representing the Inland Empire from 2022 to early this year, a rising MAGA star, but is this an Orange County story, the story of him crashing and burning on Tuesday? Yes, yes it is. The Central District of California, in which he’s been “serving” illegally as a Trump-appointed US attorney since July until two days ago, covers OUR vast stomping grounds. Most recently, he joined forces with Surf City hothead Mike E. Gates to target OC election officials over access to voting records. Guess he’s off that case now.
Folks in the Orange USD might remember Essayli best for making an assclown out of himself back in ’23 when that school board was still culture-war-retard. The OCBOE had supported a failed Essayli bill to require parental notification of trangender students, and Bill showed up at the OUSD, accusing teachers in that district of giving kids “PUBERTY BLOCKERS!” Bill has that kind of imagination. Friends tell me he ran, full-Spitzer-style, to the closest TV cameras he could find and got a lot of airtime, impressing Trump’s “talent” scouts.
But Essayli still had a couple more years left in the assembly and a couple more years before Trump’s folks could put him in the high position he clearly deserved. Perhaps vaingloriously, he takes credit during that time for corrupting the Republican Party from its original constitutional, conservative values: “When I first got into the assembly, parental rights, illegal immigration, and voter ID were peripheral issues, but under my influence we’ve made them centerpieces of our Party.” Taking credit. Like it was a good thing.
I’m-a get lazy now and let Wikipedia finish the story, his greatest hits of the last six months. This is Wikipedia, mind you. Not Democracy Docket which is better but arguably partisan:
In April 2025, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi appointed Essayli as interim U.S. Attorney for the Central District of California.[6][7] The appointment was made under federal law allowing the Attorney General to fill vacancies without Senate confirmation for up to 120 days.[16] The district, headquartered in Los Angeles, encompasses seven counties and nearly 20 million residents, making it the largest federal judicial district.[17] His appointment prompted pushback from Democratic officials and progressive organizations, culminating in the launch of Stop Essayli, a grassroots effort opposing his confirmation on grounds of alleged political retaliation and civil rights concerns.[18][19][20][21]
Oh, this part here is good:
The Los Angeles Times reported that Essayli struggled to secure convictions at grand juries for charges he brought against protestors during the June 2025 Los Angeles protests. By July 23, federal prosecutors brought 38 felony cases against protestors but secured only seven indictments, with many being dismissed or reduced to misdemeanor charges. Three federal law enforcement officers reported to the Times that they overheard a speakerphone conversation in the vicinity of the grand jury room in which Essayli screamed at a prosecutor to ignore the department’s Justice Manual and instead to secure indictments as directed by Pam Bondi. The reporting said Essayli’s low number of indictments raised concerns among legal experts over the strength of the cases he was filing.[22]
And the latest, from just two days ago:
On October 28, 2025, a federal judge ruled that Essayli’s authority as an interim appointee had expired as of July 29, 2025. Judge J. Michael Seabright wrote that “Essayli unlawfully assumed the role of Acting United States Attorney for the Central District of California”, stating that “He is disqualified from serving in that role”.[23][24][1]
First Alina Habba in New Jersey, then Sigal Chattah in Nevada, now this guy – ASSCLOWNS one and all.
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