Self-Styled ‘Hero’ Shifty Mike Schaefer says he’d keep Katie’s seat warm

Great news! Democrats who’ve been worrying about keeping control of Coastal Congressional District 47 after being abandoned by the ambitious Katie Porter, Democrats still reeling from the one-two punch of Harley Rouda’s brain injury and Dave Min’s DUI, can now rest easy – Mike Schaefer will be running for that seat, and Mike can’t lose!

Does Mike even live in that district? Who knows? Who cares? It’s Mike Schaefer and he does whatever he wants!

Yes, THAT Mike Schaefer from the Board of Equalization, the legally and ethically mega-tarnished 85-year old who just handily won re-election against decent Democrat Dave Dodson, due to Mike’s unflagging support from California Democratic Party leadership and other amoral, transactional players.

Mike’s big selling point is this: He promises to only serve ONE TERM, just in case Katie doesn’t make it to Senate, allowing her to reclaim her Congressional seat in ’26. (That’s, if you believe him, of course.)

WAIT. ONE LITTLE WRINKLE though. As the Register reported last week, the octogenarian, unaware that California was REDISTRICTED two years ago, accidentally filed to run in the wrong district, the 45th, and he still has to see if it’s too late to fix that mistake. So at the moment the dirtbag is running against Michelle Steel and Kim Nguyen, who may be scratching their heads over whether to take this development seriously, or, more likely, to join each other in a moment of derisive tittering.

But, if Mike can just iron out that one little wrinkle and file for the right district, then… MY MONEY’S ON THE SLUMLORD! Schaefer’s fabulous campaign website hardly needs to be updated, but let’s be objective and look at his wikipedia page:

John Michael Schaefer[1] (born March 25, 1938) is an American politician and former perennial candidate who served on the San Diego City Council from 1965 to 1971 and then ran for 33 local and state offices in California, Arizona, Maryland, and Nevada for nearly half a century before unexpectedly winning election to the California Board of Equalization in 2018.[2] Schaefer is the oldest Californian to serve in a state constitutional office.[3][4] . .

Wait a second – there’s obviously one glaring error there, just one word: “FORMER” perennial candidate? Scratch “former.” Moving on…

In 1970, he was arrested for bribery and conspiracies charges in the 1970 Yellow Cab bribery scandal, but was later acquitted after an eleven-hour deliberation by a jury on January 21, 1971.[11][12]

Schaefer bought properties in multiple states, including the Schaefer Hotel which he bought for $450,000, and he was successfully sued by his tenants in Los Angeles for the low quality of his housing and they were awarded $1.83 million.[4][10]

In 1993, he was convicted of misdemeanor spousal abuse and was later disbarred by the Nevada Supreme Court in 2001.[11] In 2015, he was ordered to pay $328 to his live-in landlord.[13]

In 2013, comedian Brad Garrett filed a restraining order against Schaefer, stating in his application: “As a celebrity, I am very concerned about stalkers who seek notoriety by associating themselves with me.” Under the order, Schaefer is also banned from the MGM Grand Las Vegas.[14]

All of that is old news though (and didn’t prevent the well-funded Mike from beating Dodson 59% to 41%) – and we know you come to the Orange Juice Blog for NEW, BREAKING STORIES that you don’t hear anywhere else! Well, here’s one we’ve been sitting on since the election:

In the 2022 primary the leading Republican candidate, who looked the most likely to be Schaefer’s opponent in November, was our longtime acquaintance Orange Councilman Denis Bilodeau, who used “taxpayer advocate” as his ballot designation. Some San Diego lady named Rena Marrocco sued him over that designation; Denis out of curiosity looked through Rena’s Facebook friends and noticed Schaefer’s top assistant Will Rodriguez-Kennedy.

The law firm Rena used was a high-power Democratic firm from LA, Strumwasser & Woocher, and they just kept calling and bugging Denis every day, telling him that if he’d just change his designation they would drop their suit and he wouldn’t be liable for their legal fees “which will be substantial.” Intimidation. Fuck those guys. Denis prevailed in court and kept his “taxpayer advocate” designation, as he is in fact chairman of the Orange Taxpayers’ Association.

Oh, but the important part – Schaefer’s campaign ended up paying the legal fees to Strumwasser, on behalf of the shill Rena. THAT IS ILLEGAL. “File a complaint with the FPPC!” said Dodson to Bilodeau, but Denis felt like letting it go. “Forget it, Jake, it’s just Mike Schaefer.”

So, what do you think? Maybe Joanna, Dave, and Dom of the Technicolor Weave should drop out and get behind this winner?

I’m sarcastic because I’m angry. I’m still angry that this Schaefer clown beat Dodson (AND Bilodeau) and that it was the doing of powerful Democrats.

And whether Katie Porter gets into the Senate or not, if we lose CD 47 and don’t regain the House majority, a LOT of people are going to be angry at Katie.

Vern out.

About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official political troubadour of Anaheim and most other OC towns. Regularly makes solo performances, sometimes with his savage-jazz band The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at, or 714-235-VERN.