[Ed. Note: Greg Diamond here. I’m OK! The Diamond who died is the one from Trump sycophantic sisters “Diamond and Silk” As my daughter just received a condolence message, we’re going to be very clear that I’m alive and that this piece — which I convinced Vern MISS INFO to write because I would constantly get crap whenever “Diamond” did something pro-Trump that got her into the headlines with “Diamond Defends Trump Atrocity” and such — is just based on a misunderstanding that came about because SHE stole MY name! Anyway, here we go, back to Miss Info.]

Sometimes, isn’t it true, as Joni Mitchell sang, that “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”

Just this past week, in what was apparently his last fit of productivity, Orange Juice Blog Managing Editor Greg Diamond churned out three lengthy essays on the House Speaker crisis, one bulky counterattack against this blog’s haters, and a still-unexplained “Ancient Colorful Beast” shape that now we may never know what it is unless he left the answer hidden somewhere.

[Miss! Miss, this is Greg. I’m seriously OK!]

In his wry and prolix way, Diamond made all the right enemies – a lot of them, on all sides – as well as a legion of passionate friends and fans. His detractors were driven to such impotent fits of rage that they nakedly reveled in the father of five’s health struggles, and imaginatively speculated on his alleged poverty and supposedly being on “public assistance.”

But nothing shook Diamond’s rock-solid devotion to clean and open government and progressive values, and nothing ever dampened his ever-droll sense of humor, as he strove to make his beloved Democrats an ever-better Party, and this nation a better nation.

[Miss Info, I just talked to Vern on the phone! This is all a misunderstanding!]

So, imagine our shock, here at this blog, to wake up to the headline:

Diamond Has Died.

We at the Orange Juice Blog are still processing our feelings at the passing of our comrade-in-arms, which is complicated by learning FROM THE NATIONAL PRESS about all the secrets he kept from us! [NO NO NO. THAT WAS NOT ME!] How was someone whom his jealous rivals dubbed “The Bloviator” able to hold so many things so close to the vest?

To begin with, it appears Greg had a second (certainly satirical) career as a large, pro-Trump, black female entertainer (with a partner “sister” named “Silk” – could that really be someone else we know? Zenger?) [HELL NO!]

Watching the minstrel-show, buffoon-like antics of Diamond & partner doing their MAGA shtick THAT WAS NOT ME!!!, one is bowled over by the man’s staggering comic talent. Even ex-President Trump fell for it – of course he did, he falls for anyone who seems to flatter him. The “ochre abomination” tweeted I mean truth-socialed last night:

“Really bad news for Republicans and frankly, ALL Americans. Our beautiful Diamond, of Diamond and Silk, has just passed away at her home… Silk was with her all the way, and at her passing. There was no better TEAM anywhere, or at any time! Diamond’s death was totally unexpected, probably her big and precious HEART just plain gave out. Rest In Peace our Magnificent Diamond, you will be greatly missed!”

[OK, I’LL ADMIT THAT THAT WAS TOUCHING, BUT IT SHOULD ALSO BE A CLUE THIS WASN’T ME!]

“Rest in Peace our Magnificent Diamond, you will be greatly missed!” Well, through our tears, we can only give that sentiment “Mega-Dittos,” LOL! [UHHHH, THANKS?]

Like over-the-top, kamikaze performers from Lenny Bruce to Andy Kaufman, Diamond and partner probably took it a little too far sometimes, such as during the height of the Coronavirus epidemic, when they falsely suggested that the virus was man-made and that “the rising death toll is a media conspiracy to make the Trump administration look bad.”

This got Diamond removed from YouTube, briefly locked by Twitter, and found him a home at Newsmax. I understand what he was thinking – that these claims were so farfetched nobody would take them seriously and people would begin to question other MAGA orthodoxies. But I would have advised against it – there really are people out there who will believe ANYTHING as long as it makes Trump look good.

Meanwhile we echo what Diamond’s official Twitter account released last night, capitalized in true Baboon Style: “The World just lost a True Angel and Warrior Patriot for Freedom, Love, and Humanity.” Yes, Rest in Peace, Juice-Brother.

[STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT! I’M NOT DEAD!]