Desperate Darrell Issa Snuggles Up to Obama in Mailers, But Nothing Will Remove the Stains on His Record

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Rep. Darrel Issa, angry

*I* DIDN’T WASTE ALL THT MONEY ON BOGUS INVESTIGATIONS OF OBAMA, DOUG APPLEGATE BROKE INTO MY OFFICE AND DID IT!  I LOVE WORKING WITH OBAMA, JUST LOOK AT MY CAMPAIGN MAILERS!

[SEE 10/24 UPDATE BELOW]

Hell hath no fury like a rancid billionaire member of the U.S. House of Representatives trying to hold onto a house seat from which he has practically dared voters to remove him with his stark raving madly arrogant waste of public funds.

We already knew to expect that.  But what we didn’t know until now is that Darrell Issa also has no shame — or, one might even say, self-respect.

Darrell Issa, who has been going after Obama on ginned up dreamed up scandals for years, has sent out a campaign mailer saluting President Barack Hussein Obama for signing a good-sounding and very politically safe bill that he supported.

Come on, Darrell.  Don’t do this to yourself.

Look, you hate Obama, and you’re entitled to your opinion — God knows that someone with as much anger and contempt as you have is going to spray some on almost everyone eventually.  That’s who you are — the leaner, meaner, obscener version of Dana Rohrabacher.  We get it.  To many of us, you’re a villain, but you’re a consistent villain — open and proud of who and what you are.  Admirable, from a certain perspective that many of us are happy we don’t share.

So even though you look like you’re about to get your chickenhawk ass handed to you on a paper plate by Colonel Applegate, we’re rooting for you to die on your feet rather than living on your knees.  (Dying on your knees is also good, but it’s undignified.  You used to have some equivalent of dignity.)  Be the Obama hater and Trump lover that you are at heart, Darrell.  Give voters a choice, not an echo.  Do you even know who said that, you yutz?

Your endorsing Loretta Sanders was bad, but at least you were opposing her over someone better, so that’s understandable.  But if you’re going to snuggle up to Barack Obama’s chest, Congressman, at least have the dignity to emblazon a big red caption on it saying something like “I am only sending this to you because I am so desperate that I hope that you are stupid enough to associate me positively with Barack Obama, whom I hate and whose Administration I had done my best to cripple.

If you have to die, Darrell, die on your feet.  It’s ok — we all know that you can spend two years unemployed preparing for the 2018 U.S. Senate race (where you might well be running against the woman whom you just endorsed, sucker!) — and at that time you’ll want to have stood firm and not treated voters like they’re idiots in your mailers.  (I suppose that it’s too late for that. but you’ll be able to claim that you just had a bad day — like when you got Schwarzenegger elected to the Governorship that you thought you held in your rich little car-thieving hands.)  You’ll get your butt whipped — maybe for the final time, but probably not — then as well, but at least you’ll have something that passes for dignity.

UPDATE, 10/24!

President Obama has noticed the clammy hands of Issa’s embrace as well!

On Sunday while campaigning for Issa’s Democratic challenger, retired Marine Col. Doug Applegate, the president slammed “shameless” Republicans who after years of obstructing his agenda suddenly want voters to believe that they’ve happily cooperated with the White House.

“That is is the definition of chutzpah,” Obama said of Issa’s mailer at a fundraiser in California.

“Here’s a guy who called my administration perhaps the most corrupt in history — despite the fact that actually we have not had a major scandal in my administration,” Obama said, according to a transcript of his remarks provided by the White House.

“And this is now a guy who, because poll numbers are bad, has sent out brochures with my picture on them touting his cooperation on issues with me,” Obama said to laughter from the crowd in La Jolla.

Issa “is not somebody who’s serious about working on problems,” the president argued. “Let me just point out that as far as I can tell, Issa’s primary contribution to the United States Congress has been to obstruct and to waste taxpayer dollars on trumped-up investigations that have led nowhere.”

Pointing out that Issa has long been a critic of the administration on everything from including birth control in health insurance coverage to the Benghazi attack in 2012, the president called the California Republican “Trump before Trump.”

I think that Applegate is perfectly capable of beating Rep. “Money Can’t Buy Me Love” Issa, but even at worst it has been a highlight of this year’s dismal campaign season to watch him making Deplorable Darrell Issa sweat rivers over his reelection bid.  Thank you, Colonel!


About Greg Diamond

Somewhat verbose attorney, semi-retired due to disability, residing in northwest Brea. Occasionally runs for office against bad people who would otherwise go unopposed. Got 45% of the vote against Bob Huff for State Senate in 2012; Josh Newman then won the seat in 2016. In 2014 became the first attorney to challenge OCDA Tony Rackauckas since 2002; Todd Spitzer then won that seat in 2018. Every time he's run against some rotten incumbent, the *next* person to challenge them wins! He's OK with that. Corrupt party hacks hate him. He's OK with that too. He does advise some local campaigns informally and (so far) without compensation. (If that last bit changes, he will declare the interest.)