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Clockwise from funny hat: OC’s GOP Reps. Dana Rohrabacher, Darrell Issa, Ed Royce, and Mimi Walters.
With Bakersfield’s Kevin McCarthy out of the picture (and possibly in more serious trouble than that if the rumors of a long-term affair with another GOP representative are true), Republicans are now scrambling for a replacement. The two remaining candidates, Florida’s Daniel Webster and Utah’s Jason Chaffetz, considered to be unacceptable to large swaths of the Republican Party, the GOP is in a Grand Old Pickle. Who is presentable on a national stage? May I suggest considered a candidate — or four — from Orange County? It would boost readership — and each Grand Old Possibility has its (at least comic) appeal.
Let’s review the choices, clockwise from the cat in the hat:
“Crazy Dana” Rohrabacher — the Dean of the Orange County Congressional delegation, believe it or not — has gotten some friendly press in these parts of late, what with his teaming up with a competent Democrat up the coast to pass federal legislation to respect state choices regarding medical cannabis. (Seriously, take away his bong and Dana would be almost worthless.) One disadvantage is that it’s true that he’s not considered a team player or even remotely competent at government; but from the Democratic perspective that’s not necessarily such a bad thing.
“Dangerous Darrell” Issa, once and now again representing South County after a decade confined to San Diego, has been in the national spotlight for due to the Benghazi hearings (a later incarnation of which just blew up in Kevin McCarthy’s face.) As the GOP is supposedly looking for someone very aggressive and very conservative, one would think that Issa’s name would have been in the mix by now — but it hasn’t been. That’s a sad commentery, isn’t it? Don’t they recognize his value? Don’t they respect his wealth?
“Desperate Ed” Royce is the token supposed moderate on this list — but it’s interesting to note that while even Darrell Issa voted to reopen the government at the end of the last Ted-Cruz-initiated shutdown, Royce himself voted against it. (He’s a nihilist! Don’t they like nihilists?) Royce is a high-ranking Republican — while Danabacher got a head start on him, it’s Royce who has risen through the hierarchy — and has actually done more harm to the country so far than the other three OC options combined. That’s because he’s the guy who was asleep at the switch when he chaired the House Financial Services Committee back when the banks were looting and scuttling the economy, and he’s now the guy who not heads the House Foreign Affairs committee, where his diatribes against China and the Muslim world attract extra attention. Sadly, he really might be a plausible candidate here — but he’s really not a “take one for the team” kind of guy. His name was mentioned as a possibility by California pundit Shirley Bebitch Jeffe, who said:
“The one name I’ve heard out here from California Republicans is Ed Royce who is a senior Republican member of the House and is well-respected.”
OK, then — come on, Royce! Are you afraid of a little hard work?
“Schemin’ Mimi” Walters is the newest addition to the ranks of OC’s U.S. Representatives, where she has been visible thus far mostly as what passes for eye candy standing next to John Boehner in her very junior leadership role. (Cathy McMorris has been the highest-ranking woman on the Houser GOP leadership team, but she seems to be being mentioned only in the context of how odd it is that no one is mentioning her.) The ethically challenged once-and-now again Laguna Niguelian does not seem to have accomplished anything notable in Congress, continuing on the proud legacy of former Rep. John Campbell. She may have more sense than McCarthy did, though; when questions arose about her residency at a press conference, Senate Minority Leader Bob Huff literally stepped to the microphone she was approaching to rule that the entire topic is off limits.
But there are other possibilities:
The Speaker of the House does not actually have to be a member of Congress at all — and need not even be native-born, which means that Arnold Schwarzenegger really could be in the mix this time. So could Nancy Reagan, Bruce Willis, Mike Trout, or anyone else who wanted a capstone achievement for their career. If you know anyone who you think should be considered as speaker, this is your chance to mention them with the certainty that your suggestion will be read by someone at the NSA! So let’s hear those ideas, Juicesters! Otherwise they may really go, as has been threatened today, with someone like Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich!
The last thing this nation needs is so white
male Republican #DonaldTrump racist asshole
from #orangecounty CA in a position of
national leadership
German Santos
Well, in that case, the world’s ending yesterday would have been appropriate.
^^^ that would pretty much be the functional equivalent Mr. Diamond lol.
If the Angels were still in the hunt, I’d have to say Mike Trout had the inside tract.
Arnold seems more interesting in resurrecting his movie career than babysitting a bunch of cry babies – and he’s already made Kindgergarten Cop.
But Dana. Oh Dana.
PPLLLLLLEAAAAASE let Dana be the choice. The blog posts will write themselves.
any of the four you mentioned would be acceptable,
my friends have bought them all
Don’t forget, Dana is also great on stuff like the TPP… which probably dooms him.
I really would enjoy it most of those alternatives. I have a sneaking suspicion, though, that this may be the moment when the thus-far-theoretical “Speaker from outside of the House” actually happens. They’re saying “Romney” right now. He’d probably be better than any alternative they’d buy. And he’d disappoint people in a gratifying way.
AH-nold! AH-nold! AH-nold!
or,
is Gustavo Arrellano old enough?
I forgot: Ahnold iss doing “The Apprentice” now, so he can’t be Speaker of the — well, I’m not actually sure of that!
I’d be happy with Gustavo being Speaker. Let’s see him get out of that hot water!
The Bloviator bloviates my name even when I have nothing to do with his bloviating story … this shit blog… whatever. Ustedes. that’s all I got.
– Gustavo.
You forgot Cabroland!
*Ed Royce is too smart to be speaker. Darrell Issa too busy. Mimi Walters wants it and can taste it…..at any selected Wine and Cheese Celebrity Meet-up…..so that it would be too much pressure for her on a daily basis. That leaves Dana….who has it all as someone – already mentioned – that is the perfect Republican foil and also holds all the magic information about Al Quida and the Taliban….that can rally all those Tea Party characters hurding cats….and scream loudly at all those waffling moderates……and jump up and down every time Trey Gowdy or Chaffitz come to the podium to support the Republican position on anything,. “Let’s go…..Team Orange!” says Dana!
Issa is mean enough to do the job well.
I understand he’s too busy carrying Paul Ryan’s gym bag right now.