A young woman is beaten unconscious outside a nightclub in downtown Santa Ana. She dies two days later from her injuries.
A senior citizen in Orange falls in the crosswalk while on her way to a doctor’s appointment. Her leg buckles under her. She struggles to get up and finally manages to get on her feet and continue to her destination which was on the other side of the street.
The woman attacked outside the nightclub was there hoping to have a fun night out, when an argument ensued. Who knows what it was about. Does it really matter? In an instant the woman was on the ground being kicked and hit by five others. They were not the only ones there. There is cell phone video showing a crowd of bystanders watching the fight.
The woman in Santa Ana was beaten to death and not one person stepped forward to stop it. Not one. There was at least one person videoing the attack. The footage was used for the local news stations. But not one person who was there had the courage and compassion to step forward.
The senior citizen was not alone in the crosswalk. There were several others crossing the street, not to mention, cars on both sides waiting for the light to turn green. Two of the pedestrians wore blue scrubs — clearly employees of the medical center that the senior was on her way to.
The senior ended up with only scrapes and bruises. She was lucky. Nothing broken. Not one person who was crossing the street along with her, tried to help her get up and safely across. No one got out of their car. They knew what happened. They saw her fall. They looked at her as they walked by. She thought to herself — maybe they were late for work and just didn’t have time to see if she was ok.
Last year a woman made the front cover of the New York Post. It’s a picture of her taking a selfie in front of a man attempting to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. In Michigan, customers at a convenience store stepped over a man in the doorway who had been shot.
Are we now choosing to record the drama on video so we can send it to our friends on social media as fast as we can, instead of helping another human being in need? Are we in such a hurry to get somewhere that we are willing to leave someone laying in the street? These true stories sound like something out of an Ayn Rand novel. Or is it becoming real life? Have we lost our compassion? I don’t get it. That was someone’s daughter who died from a beating. That was someone’s grandma who fell in the street. Someday it could be you who needs help from a stranger. Life is not a reality show. It’s real life and sometimes we need to help each other, even if its inconvenient or scary.
I hope these stories do not become the norm because if it is — we are doomed.
We will become that self absorbed world only if we allow that behavior to become mainstream and acceptable. For now it is still such an outrage that this level of selfishness is news, because it is not the norm. As each day gets busier and more frantic it takes that much more effort to slow down and look for opportunities to help others, instead of assuming someone else will. We have to use the ugliness of those others as an example of we don’t want to be, and try that much harder to pump kindness and decency into the world. call it “letting the light of Christ shine” or call it some kind of “karma credits” to the universe, but that selfishness will flourish only if society allows it, and we are society.
That young woman was the cousin of one my “drumline kids” and i can tell you the family is destroyed. They knew she was gone, those thugs kicked the life out of her, brain damage too extensive to ever hope for recovery. But they also knew from the lifetime of examples of kindness and generosity she had shown that her last wish would be to “find good” in this evil thing, and let her organs live on giving life to those who needed it. Imagine signing the documents that keep your daughter’s body alive without hope, for the sole purpose of rounding up the donor teams and recipients who needed to be brought together. Technical life….devoid of hope. I cannot fathom sitting at my child’s bedside knowing the machines are keeping organs going for someone else to use, I will not be taking my “baby” home….I can’t even type it without choking…
And it is THAT selflessness shown by her family that WILL overcome the selfishness that took her young life. For every woman left to her own devices in a crosswalk there are dozens more volunteering for Meals on Wheels. For every cop willing to beat a homeless man to death on video, there are hundreds of others on the force who show up every day to do their jobs, AND deal with the abuse and mistrust resulting from the actions of their black hearted colleagues. For every thousand politicians on the take there are one or two who truly seek “public service”…ok that example might be a stretch, but imhave met a few decent elected leaders over the years. It happens.
We must, for our own survival, applaud and appreciate and encourage every act of kindness no matter how small, while condemning brutal behavior as beneath the society we want to be. We retain our humanity BECAUSE these stories still horrify us. May God help us on the day these stories no longer make the news or make us gasp in disgust because they have become common everyday occurrences.
Thank you for calling attention to these stories, they need to be told, not as a reflection of who we have become, but as a reminder of who we NEVER want to be.
Each of us, as bystanders, employees/coworkers, employers, volunteers, (and bloggers) must find our own way to encourage that societal change, to do the right thing as individuals, and to make changes in whatever little circle of influence we affect, hoping it might ripple outward.
I cannot change the world, but I can make my corner of it better than it was when I found it, and I can raise my kids to do the same, and I can influence those I work with. We have highlighted the efforts of one Anaheim Mayor to emphasize “kindness” and ironically he gets mocked, but is that not what is needed here? Kaiser prints these big posters in the hallways highlighting good deeds of their staff, and gives out little fish pins that say “I’ve been caught” how many other ideas could we come up with to celebrate basic human decency so these stories don’t get worse?
I also know I can be as callous when I get busy inside my own head, worried about my to do list that is nowhere near done, and sometimes I simply fail to “see” the needs of others. With the recent tragedies of the Kelly Thomas verdict and my young friend’s cousin, and a personal issue that got my attention dramatically, I am trying to be more aware, trying to make more of an effort to do right by others even if it messes up my precious to do list, and I hope the recent eye opening headlines are having an effect on others too.
We choose our reactions, and we can choose to become bitter about these horrific acts of self centered evil, or we can be like that young woman’s family, and somehow reach down deep and make something good from it. No the organs and lives saved will never make up for the loss of a beautiful, talented, smart, kind woman with the world in front of her ready to be conquered, but I am glad her family found some way to not let her loss be complete, and hope all of us can let this become the kick in the pants we all need to stop living inside our own heads and look outside the protective bubble we create around ourselves.
As usual I am ranting, you hit a nerve for me, a painful one, and I am glad you said this, you found words I couldn’t quite pull together, thanks for posting.
May God help us to be better people, may He help us make the effort to get out of our own heads and truly see the needs we can fill, often by stopping for even 2 minutes.
And may we be granted the wisdom to know which of those very, very rare individuals just plain need to be smacked hard and told not to be doucheburgers. There is that too.
While the death of Kim Pham is tragic and appears undeserved beyond words. The reality is: We don’t know what happened. How it happened and beyond a single identified suspect and a dead victim, who was involved.
I concur with the spirit of your blog post, but, devoid of FACTS it’s hard to say with any certainty that her peers and others “let her down”. Having said that, beyond the bystanders who are accused of having done nothing, we have politicians trying to capitalize and or run cover. it is all too apparent we are further down the road than we thought.
If race was the motive and not a “photo bomb” it might make more sense. Regardless, we all better look out for ourselves first (put your mask on before helping others) and make good decisions, like avoiding dangerous places like downtown Santa Ana.
Organ donation was a generous and divine choice made by the family. Shame on the scrubwearing persons. Higher standards are expected of healthcare workers. But then higher standards are expected all around. Good Samaritans are not taking pictures-they are in the pictures!
Good essay, Inge. I’ve been planning to write about this incident. I’ll offer a different — not necessarily contradictory, but different — perspective as early as tomorrow or this weekend.
The journey from Narcissus’s pond to today hasn’t taken us that far. Nice post, Inge.
This all makes me very sad.
Our culture has been transformed from caring nation to a apathetic, indifferent world.
Our world is filled with apathy and hardship. It makes the news if someone does a good deed, not a great deed, as simple as finding a credit card or wallet and turns it in to the nearest brick and mortar storefront.
It takes so little to make a difference in someone’s life and in their perspective of mankind as a whole. Why is it that we are afraid to do the right thing, to take the next step and reach out to someone they don’t know, we could make a difference. Why not believe the world can become a better place, if you just reach out and take someone’s needy hand, a simple gesture of kindness?
I like that expression, “a simple act of kindness”.
“.. not one person who was there had the courage and compassion to step forward.”
I would like to think that I would be that person – but really, you wouldn’t know if someone in that frenzi had a knife or gun.
Yes, we are too self absorbed. We should try to help people when we can.
http://www.youcaring.com/other/love-for-kim-pham/129548
I thought you all might like to know about this fundraising effort for Kim’s family to help pay legal fees.
Good to see something relevant to all of us, even if we don’t live in Anaheim or want play political games. It’s sad however that it takes someone losing there life to bring it to focus.
Inge, Cynthia nicely done!
Skally, I would like to think so too. But you’re right, you never know till it happens. Right now, sadly, I’m not even sure how much help I would be to the lady crossing the street…
The trial was moved from Santa Ana to Newport Beach and now it’s being moved to Westminster.
I bet this trial will hold nationwide interest as it is unusual for two young women to kick another young woman to death.
The defense attorney Molfetta said “Obviously, the demographic of West Court, Given the racial undertones of this case, is something we need to think about.”
Seems to me the defense attorney expects “hate crime” to be added to the charges. Maybe he should keep his mouth shut.
You like to pop in here and smear OC politicians, don’t you?
Give us one good reason why you’re a reliable, accurate source for information like that contained in your comment.
To explain to others readers what is going on here, anon is replying to a comment by nameless that quotes Councilmember David Benavides on some matter regarding Art Walk. Along the lines of what anon is saying, I have no idea whether Benavides actually made the comment or, if he did, what context is missing. (My sense is that some context is very likely missing.)
Nameless contributes interesting contrarian perspectives to this blog, but sometimes I get the sense that most of what he does is ingratiation just so that he can have the latitude to toss out a well-aimed (almost always well-aimed) turd at a favored political target. I imagine that this must be gratifying, especially when such an anonymous causes convulsions, but I’m not inclined to let it continue. (My feelings about Benavides are mixed, positive on balance, but not strongly help. This isn’t about him, it’s about nameless.)
I’m inclined to spend the human pregnancy’s worth of time between now and the election tossing his stuff overboard whenever he tries this sort of thing — and possibly to toss out some older comments of his from the archive each time, just to enhance the persuasive effect. I’ll talk to Vern about that later.
Most likely, nameless will have a response to this, which I will most likely trash. If he keep up the posting attacks without personal consequence faster than I can get to them, I suppose that I’d have to automate that process of blocking his posts here.