This week Governor Jack Dairymple signed legislation that gives North Dakota the most restrictive abortion laws in the country. The law states a woman can get a legal abortion up until a fetus is considered viable, usually at around 22 to 24 weeks. Last Thursday, Krystal Ball , a member of The Cycle on MSNBC gave a commentary about Abortion Rights. Ball is pro-choice and went on to say that 30% of women under the age of 40 have or will have an abortion, but because these women are afraid of the stigma if they are found out, they do not come forward to admit they had one. If we want to ensure women have the right to a legal, safe abortion in the future then those women who have already done so should speak up. I think she is absolutely right!
So I decided since I already don’t care what people think about me and abortion rights is a hot button issue for me, then I am willing to stand up and say I had an abortion. I will add that I never had and still do not have any regrets about my decision. It was one of the wisest, responsible decisions I made in my adult life.
Why did I have an abortion? That is none of your business. It doesn’t matter why and I don’t have to justify my decision to anyone. If at the time abortions were not legal, I would have found a way to end the pregnancy. You can bet if a women in North Dakota or any other state finds herself with an unwanted pregnancy and can’t find a fairly close abortion clinic, she will find a way to fix her problem. The difference is, will she die from going to someone unqualified to perform abortions, or resort to a coat hanger? I also believe women have the right to have an abortion, no matter what the reason and that includes the right to choose if she has a girl or a boy. I know some women’s groups get all upset over women aborting girl fetuses because in some cultures, they prefer males. In my opinion those women’s groups are part of a bigger mission — the ones who want all abortions banned. They just hide behind the it’s discriminating against girl babies mantra. I say MYOB! There are plenty of other causes that they can latch on to that involve discriminating against women.
Bombshell! Fetuses are not babies! If they were then pregnant moms can claim them as dependents on their income tax. For those who have religious beliefs about abortions, I suggest they follow their teachings and leave the rest of us alone. These are the same people who claim to be pro-life and at the same time demand they have the right bear arms. Another myth is — abortion is used as birth control. Hello! Have you checked in to how much abortions cost? They usually range from $350 to $1,000 — compare that to birth control pills (pro-lifers are opposed to that too) which are $15 to $40 a month.
Having an abortion is not something to be ashamed about and do not let ANYONE bully you into giving birth for any reason. Remember it’s YOUR body and YOUR right to decide what’s right for YOU!
Inge,
I support your decision, as you made it at the time. I also think it’s pretty brave of you to come forward with your admission. I have taken friends to the clinic for services and held their hands and heads afterward as well. I think it’s sad, but it was not MY choice to make, it was theirs and theirs alone. I could only be a support to them as a friend should be.
All I can do is hope that we have fewer young women who have to make those painful decisions. I also hope that caring professionals can always be available to help those who need it.
Carl, you are a good friend to be there for your female friends. Did you watch the video Krystal Ball made? I agree with her, its time to come out and speak up about our experiences so other women will continue to have the same choices I did. I have stood, arms locked with others, outside abortion clinics making a path for those women who came to have an abortion that day, while pro-lifers (mostly men) screamed insults hoping to change minds. These pro-lifers who come to abortion clinics to picket patients and threaten doctors are nothing more than hateful busy bodies who have no life of their own.
Congrats on calling a spade a spade – many prefer the euphemism of “pro choice.”
I am talkinbg about the hardcore pro-lifers and the ones who show up at clinics
http://www.armyofgod.com/Birthcontrol.html
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive//ldn/2010/jun/10060106
I found this blog written by a woman who was pro-life but changed her mind when she figured out their true agenda..
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2012/10/how-i-lost-faith-in-the-pro-life-movement.html
here is an article from Daily Kos
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/04/03/1080161/-Pro-Birth-is-not-Pro-LIFE
http://www.salon.com/2011/10/26/the_next_front_in_the_abortion_wars_birth_control/
scroll down their website and you will find the opinion about birth control from the Pro-Life Action League. http://prolifeaction.org/faq/stand.php
The groups who are against birth control have a lot of $$$ and influence. They use scare tactics to get there way.
I doubt we really want to have the IRS determining when a fetus is a baby…I did not think that taxes would come into play on this topic, but I was surprised. If the IRS was the decider and determined that after confirmed conception, one can claim the unborn as a dependent, I doubt that would sway anyone on this discussion. The same would be true in that, since a dependent deduction is not allowed until actual live birth, I doubt that most people would be in favor of saying that the unborn was not a “baby” a few days prior to birth.
OK, a serious point…should the father have any say in matter? It may be the women’s body, but is the unborn half of the father’s and therefore should he also have a “choice” in the matter? Is it just pro choice for only the mother or is it pro choice for all? Many guys would never want to impede the right of a women to have an abortion, but some of those same guys would not want to have their own unborn aborted. I presume that most abortions are highly considered and thought out by both sides, but likely not all. Food for thought.
Boutwell,
The majority of women seeking an abortion are not in a loving, supportive relationship, where there is a father who wants to raise the child. Deciding on abortion is not something women do for the fun of it. Its usually the last and best option for them. There is no male in their life to step up to the plate. Did you watch Krystal Balls commentary? There is a link and it will give you a better understanding.
And for those thinking Planned Parenthood is the only one who provides abortions, I did not go there.Plenty of healthcare providers (hospitals) will do it, if you have the $$$. I was given all the information first, before I made my decision. Abortion was not forced on me.
I can only imagine that it is a very agonizing choice…and hopefully nothing I said indicated that I would think it was a “fun” thing to do…if I did, it certainly was not my intention and apologies would be in order. The closest thing that I could relate to would be my feelings after losing a child, but that was with elation, for the most part, prior to the loss as opposed to the agony leading up to it that those who choose to have an abortion likely feel.
Unfortunately, the mother is the one who is making that choice for the father. Just as many do not want someone else (the gov’t or pro-lifers) making the choice to force a birth upon a mother (i.e. strict pro-life, no abortion stance), there are many fathers out there who would prefer to not have someone else make the choice to not allow them to have their child. Is it a majority…I am not sure. If a father is not in a supportive and loving relationship with the mother, does that means that the father should not have a choice to raise the child on their own, just as the mother would have the choice to raise the child on their own if they chose to have the child? It seems that many feel that the only person in the situation who has a choice in the matter would be the woman and likely their healthcare provider.
I did just watch the Krystal Ball commentary and I don’t think it I saw a link to something that appeared relevant…can you paste it for me? If it was the Jones-Kavanaugh research, I did peruse it which I did take away that abortions seem to have declined by about 8% during the 8 years of relevancy although the rate actually increased among poor women. Like all things though, remember where the funding came from…(I would say the same if it was the other side too).
Boutwell, I was referring to the link on balls name and it takes you to the MSNBC commentary she did last Thursday. She talks about that it is up to women to stand up and make sure abortions remain legal and safe. That is why I wrote this post. If more women speak up and admit they had an abortion, then the stigma will be removed.
You did not write anything offensive. I mentioned the word fun because the pro-life groups like to be flip about their remarks, to drive their point home, I guess. They love to claim women get abortions as a form of birth control, which is plain ridiculous.
I am not surprised poor women get more abortions and I am sure the reason is — they can’t afford to raise another child. A co-worker approached me years ago and asked me if I knew of an abortion doctor. She already had 3 kids, she was married and they could not afford another one. They were living paycheack to paycheck. I don’t know if her husband knew and I didn’t ask, but I gave the information.
I understand your feelings about the fathers right to know, but I think you are in the minority of men who would care. Like I mentioned earlier. Fathers are usually not in the picture and don’t want to be. Women who are in loving, supportive relationships don’t go that route.
it’s for the children!
A good discussion, and as to this question: “OK, a serious point…should the father have any say in matter?”
I’d say, ultimately, “no.” Not until a man gets pregnant.