DC Republicans: The Democrats won’t let us kill Medicare. So please give us the Senate and Presidency next year!




Damn those mean Democrats!  And you stupid Americans were no help either.  But it was mostly that hotshot, terrorist-killing President Obama who punked us by “excoriating” our great plan for ending Medicare, as Majority Leader Cantor put it.

Did I say “ending Medicare?”  Sorry, I meant to say “saving it.”  For I know it’s hard for most of you dumb rubes to get your heads around, but if we learned ANYTHING from our long expensive experience in Vietnam, it is that if you really want to SAVE something – say, a village, or a beloved social program – it can be necessary to DESTROY it.

And hence our brilliant plan for Medicare – replacing what was a program to cover all your healthcare needs once you turn 65, with a plan to give you vouchers so that you can go out and shop around for any private insurance company who might want to cover you – surely the American way!

The good news would be:  #1 – this would have freed up money for us to cut taxes EVEN MORE for our millionaire and billionaire friends I mean, the “Job Creators,” and #2, we’ll still call it “Medicare” so how dead can it really be?

But thanks to the SCARE TACTICS of the Democrats and that bully Obama, 78% of you now oppose our ingenious plan.  What really hurts is that includes the majority of you Republicans and even self-described Tea Partiers.  Hey – we’re just trying to do what you elected us to do, and this is the gratitude we get?  Why do we even bother.

Ayn Rand, bold libertarian welfare recipient.

Another thing – how is it none of you folks OVER 55 seemed to get the message that this would ONLY affect the people UNDER 55?  What is with you, you actually care about what happens to those spoiled bastards?  What, do you really know someone that young or something?  What happened to your famous, boundless sense of self-interest?  What kind of Republicans or Tea Partiers are you anyway?  Didn’t you watch “Atlas Shrugged” last month?  And why didn’t you?  That’s something else I’m pretty pissed off about, now that you remind me – pearls before swine, that movie was.

NOW, with the destruction of Medicare nixed, our GOP budget doesn’t even come CLOSE to reducing the deficit.  Poor, poor, courageous doe-eyed Paul Ryan,after having to put up with all that abuse from his own Wisconsin constituents, and  ridicule from that bully in the White House, is now stuck with a turkey of a document worthy only of being fed head-first into a wood chipper.


Moving forward from here

Listen now, you sensible people out there, if there are any of you left, if you want us to EVER be able to do great things like killing Medicare, privatizing Social Security, and lowering the tax rates for the rich down to Herbert Hoover levels, you are going to need to help us get the Senate and the Presidency next year.  I feel for you poor Republicans out there in crazy blue California;  I’m fully aware of how tough it’ll be to get rid of Feinstein or Boxer, or convince your fellow Californians to support Donald Trump or Mitt Romney.

But at least you in Orange County can take pride in the courage of your Congressmen Rohrabacher, Royce, Miller, Calvert for boldly taking such an unpopular stand.  You South Countiers should be especially proud of John Campbell who’s been talking about “discontinuing Medicare” long before almost anyone else.  And you should actually click on the following links to personally thank your own representatives for daring to assault such a beloved program:

If, God forbid, any of these fine Americans are defeated next year, I’m just going to give up hope on this country.  But I will try to help out by regularly reminding all of you for the foreseeable future:  All OC Republican Congressmen voted to destroy Medicare!!!

About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official troubador of both Anaheim and Huntington Beach (the two ends of the Santa Ana Aquifer.) Performs regularly both solo, and with his savage-jazz quintet The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at vernpnelson@gmail.com, or 714-235-VERN.