So Many Boners! (for Dems to run against this year)

I had the same reaction as Rachel did when I saw Monday’s amazing interview from the spray-tanned Minority Leader John Boehner, who hopes to be Speaker of the House if his Republican Party wins enough seats this November:  Never in recent memory has a leader of the minority offered so many easy and ridiculous rhetorical and policy targets for the majority to run against.

You can view the whole Rob-Roy-fueled spectacle here, at the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review‘s site. Stand-outs for me:

“The financial reform bill is like killing an ant with a nuclear weapon.”

Translation:  #1, the great financial meltdown from which we’re all suffering, with grinding unemployment, lost savings and homes, and bankrupt states, is really nothing but an insignificant “ant” to the Republican leadership.  And #2, the creation of a Consumer Financial Protection Agency, the early termination of the unpopular TARP bailout, as well as the tightening of regulations on various sorts of risky behavior by financial institutions (all of which all but 3 Congressional Republicans have just now voted against) is akin to detonating a nuclear bomb.  Thanks for making that clear, leader Boehner.

I should at this point remind readers that about a month ago, this same Boehner spoke to a group of bankers and their lobbyists and, referring scornfully to federal regulators, advised them, “don’t let those little punk staffers take advantage of you,” and that he and his party would have their backs by watering down the new regulations to meaninglessness (and please shift all your financial support to the GOP now.)

“Getting the retirement age [for receiving Medicare and Social Security] to 70 is a step that needs to be taken.”

This very clear statement, in no need of translation, should go over very well with people over 40 or 50 who have been looking forward to, and planning for, their retirements after decades of hard work and paying into these programs.  I mean, it should go over like a lead zeppelin.

“Ensuring there’s enough money to pay for the war will require reforming the country’s entitlement system.”

That means the Republican Party believes that we should cut Social Security and Medicare in order to pay billions and billions more for endless war.  Thanks for clarifying your priorities, your vision for our future.

Obama’s 6-month moratorium on deepwater drilling is “not a good idea.”  [and seconds later] “With deepwater drilling there, maybe there should be a pause.”

As Rachel pointed out, a moratorium IS a pause.  The vague nonsensicality of Boner’s prescription makes it clear that he and his Party really haven’t put much thought at all into the issue which a vast majority of Americans have been horrified and transfixed by for months now.  Well, only enough thought to criticize anything the President tries to do about it.  Very patriotic and helpful.

“[The Democrats] are snuffing out the America that I grew up in!”

Replies Keith-O:  “The America YOU were born into in 1944 meant segregated schools, Jim Crow laws, anti-miscegenation laws, political assassinations, jail time for being gay, and polio. And the Edsel. Does Mr. Boehner really want to bring those things back?”  I don’t know, maybe he does.  What do you think, voters?

“There’s a political rebellion brewing, and I don’t think we’ve seen anything like it since 1776.”

Maybe a few of you Tea-partiers would like to think that, but really?  Bigger than the War Against Slavery?  The Civil Rights Movement?  The movement to win the vote for women?  Really, wank on…

In conclusion, let’s all enjoy this big musical hit from last March:

About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official troubador of both Anaheim and Huntington Beach (the two ends of the Santa Ana Aquifer.) Performs regularly both solo, and with his savage-jazz quintet The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at, or 714-235-VERN.