My Town is Better than Your Town

Irvine’s distinctive charm

Each of Orange County’s towns has its own distinctive charms.  Newport Beach has a flotilla of expensive, rarely-used boats bobbing in the harbor. Stanton has the best Thai restaurant in North America.   San Juan Capistrano has it’s swallows, or at least used to. Huntington Beach argues endlessly with itself about Bolsa Chica.  Orange’s circle always delights.   Fullerton’s future is full of friends.   Anaheim Hills has acres of happy horses while San Clemente still thinks it’s a remote beach town. Even distant Coto de Caza has, um, er ,… Help me here.  There must be some reason people spend so much money to be surrounded by a fence and patrolled by armed guards.   ons dien met trots?

But spend any time in these fine places and one can feel the urge for something better, an unmet yearning.

Deep down, all these places wish they could be orderly, walkable , landscaped, safe, Irvine. Who could blame them?  Our city council is better looking.

 

Our water district is solvent.  The FBI proclaims how wonderful we are.  When we do have crimes, ours are more interesting.   We did better in school.  Money magazines love us.  Gustavo loves to hate us .   Our mortgage companies  created the sub-prime collapse and triggered the financial meltdown.  Our bloggers are nationwide .  We make our billionaire  ever richer, even if he does spend most of his time in Newport. Our vegetables fondle better. 

Irvine is a beacon for a better world.  Our Islamic school and our Jewish school coexist peacefully, with nary a complaint from our Lutheran University or our Buddhist Monastery . Our UC beat USC at its own game. 

Can we talk more about schools?  You already know that Irvine’s test scores are probably higher than yours. But Irvine students are far more then proficient test-taking automatons (well, some of them).  Do your schools’ alums include an Amanda Beard,  Will Ferrell, Andrea Seigel ,  Natasha Watley , or  Zack de La Rocha?

Not yet persauded?  The real proof that Irvine is better than your boring ‘burb is simple.  Who doesn’t want to live in the town that produced Dita von Teese

One more thing.  I’ll be dropping by from time to time to see that Irvine doesn’t escape the Orange Juice craziness.  Because in addition to all the other superlatives I’ve listed, Irvine has the most socially dysfunctional city council in the county and at least two  of the most brazenly wasteful government projects around. So we’ll have lots to talk about.

About Tyler in Irvine

Twenty Year Irvine Resident. Native Texan and proud Longhorn. Pro-Choice Ron Paul supporter. "Do I contradict myself? ... then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman