Dana Wets His Pants! – UPDATED, with more videos!


“Wetting his pants” – that is of course just a metaphor – a silly, childish metaphor for Dana’s frame of mind right now regarding his challenge from Debbie Cook. What he is literally doing, is sh*tting bricks.

My friends at the Debbie campaign aren’t wasting their precious money on internal polls, but we can gather a lot from the behavior of our esteemed opponent.  And what we know is this:

1. Last month the Daily Pilot wrote, “Rohrabacher does not plan on running commercials of his own, using mailers, signs and the recognition he has from his years in office as campaigning tools instead. Still, he says he might change strategies and go into ’emergency mode’ if he thinks it’s necessary.”

2.  Three weeks ago he ran a poll.  (We know because folks he called told us.)

3.  Immediately after the poll he sent out, in rapid succession, three cheesy mailers distorting Debbie’s record on the environment, taxes, and immigration (which we immediately and roundly debunked in full-page magazine ads, as well as a second upcoming TV ad) and now he’s putting up money to run some really comical TV spots…

Have you seen Dana’s TV spots yet?  I know they’re running on MSNBC (Debbie’s been running hers on Fox and ESPN, so I end up seeing Dana’s and not Debbie’s!)  I was surprised that they are not attack pieces, but instead very bare-bones, 30-second, Cinéma-vérité looks at the homely, ill-spoken folks who comprise Dana’s base in the district.  Several elderly ladies – not the cute kind either – talk about how “Dana takes care of us,” and “takes care of us for the right reasons,” suggesting somehow that Debbie does it for the wrong reasons?

Then there looms onto the screen the frightening visage of HB councilwoman Cathy Green, the hard-right Republican and Catholic activist who has long been Debbie’s nemesis on the council, and has been described on this blog as a “nails-on-chalkboard harridan” who “speaks not so much like a kindergarten teacher as a kindergarten student.”  Cathy clicks her tongue cattily, “I’ve worked with both Dana Rohrabacher and his opponent.  Let’s just say I’ll be voting for Dana.”  And then of course comes the inevitable footage of Dana, Rhonda and the triplets tromping across the sand near the Pier.  I wish I could find a video of Dana’s ad; I’ll just say it doesn’t seem particularly convincing.

Especially when we’ve been running the following ad for a month or two:

Well, I really need to be getting back to work on my Spanish translation of Dana’s extremist anti-immigration record versus Debbie’s common-sense, humane position, so I’ll check you Juicers later!

UPDATE, Monday afternoon 9/13

Thanks to the invaluable F&E Fan, we now have the YouTubes of Dana’s ads:


OK, the one with Cathy Green is not up on YouTube yet, I’ll keep looking for it but this second one is almost as bad:


and Debbie’s new “ASTEROIDS!” response to his attack mailers:


About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official troubador of both Anaheim and Huntington Beach (the two ends of the Santa Ana Aquifer.) Performs regularly both solo, and with his savage-jazz quintet The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at vernpnelson@gmail.com, or 714-235-VERN.