Late tonight I managed to “obtain” Bristol Palin’s new fiancé’s last MySpace entry. Apparently his MySpace account has been shut down now and it is no longer available. However, as a gift to all of our faithful readers I have decided to post it here:
What a ride! Figuratively speaking, oh heck literally too. Here I am in Minnesota at the RNC, whoever would have thought? I don’t even know if I’m a Republican yet, well I guess I am now by default or should I say by not so immaculate conception.
The last few months of my life have been interesting to say the least. I went from being a guy who hooked up with the Governor’s daughter to now being engaged to the Republican Vice-Presidential Candidate’s daughter. I wasn’t planning on getting married and having a kid. Well I was, but I was planning on doing it in that order not the other way around. And not now! Maybe not ever. But, like that nice lady who works for John McCain told me to say, “it’s God’s plan.” Or something like that…
It sure was fun riding in a helicopter for the first time in my life. You must all be wondering how I ended up here on short notice right? I got a special plane and helicopter ride from Bristol’s Mom – I call her Mrs. P. The man from the DA’s Office said that if I did the right thing, he would also do the right thing. Then my parents said that getting married was the right thing to do.
Personally I think the right move would have been to not use the baby seal skin condoms that I bought at that new gas station owned by Bristol’s Aunt and Uncle. But what was I supposed to do? My pal Stoney from school worked the counter there and he told me they were cool, and I knew Stoney was cool. Who knew baby seal skin was so weak? I mean they’re supposed to be waterproof and they can live on the ice!
It kinda sucks cause I was looking forward to “meeting” other girls in college – maybe girls from real cities! This deal was supposed to only be till the end of summer and maybe during Thanksgiving Break. Now it’s forever! I thought teenage pregnancy only happened in movies like Juno or Knocked Up or something. How is it possible that the movies got it wrong? This didn’t happen to McLovin!
So now here I am in Minneapolis(I hope I spelled that right) and I have to act like I am part of the family. I am afraid of Bristol’s dad! he keeps looking at me funny! So does her brother! But I guess I am part of the family now. And hpoefully the Secret Service guys will protect me.
There’s so many cameras I feel like I’m on that show The Hills or something. Me and Bristol used to love to watch that show, we’re so on team Heidi. That Lauren is so two faced. I never thought that my quest to get some would land me on CNN.
John McCain keeps telling me that I have to be a man now. Hey I’m 18 – I’m still a teenager! BTW, he sure has a strong handshake for an old guy who got tortured. I think he scares me more than Mr. P! I don’t like how he bumps me on the shoulder while talking out of the side of his mouth saying things like “how’s life in the fast lane now?” or “I guess some fellas have to learn things the hard way.” WHATEVER old guy. If you croak my Mother-in-law is going to be the Prez! Maybe /i’ll become an ambassador or something…I wonder if I can at least get an ipod with the Presidential seal on it?
Very, very funny!
In the immortal words of Billy Idol, it’s a nice day for a…whhhhiite wedinngggg!
This stupid marriage is going to be televised which will only give further ‘credence’ to Palin’s commitment to family values.
As a side note: McCaine never knew that Bristol was pregnant. He only met Palin twice before choosing her as VP. The party is only trying to twist this hilarious reality into something planned. Hey man, if McCaine gives you an ipod with the seal, HOOK A BROTHA UP!
Fake, fake, fake. That was so sarcastic and nuanced that it had to be written someone much older than Mr. Levi’s 501 over there.
SMS
tacky
“Sarah Pander”
The Democratic Party will not use Sarah Pander’s family weaknesses, but that does not prevent observers from doing so.
Sarah Pander’s tone is not that of a national leader. It is the tone of a party hack. It is the tone of a holier than thou, smug, arrogant, functionary. Sarah Pander laid no claim of gravitas, because she has none. That is the best than can be said of the would be VP.
Sarah Palin pandering to the crowds for the Republicans. Republicans have been thrilled with Bush’s style government and are now trying to distance themselves at the 11th hour. Anyone who “forgets” that a vote for McCain is the same vote for all the garbage that has rolled out under Bush. Sarah Pander, cutting special needs budgets and cutting programs for the unwed is trying to sell us as an “advocate” for these groups, should she make it to DC. More of the same: say one thing and DO the exact opposite.
More at:
http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=26957717&bid=&recscode=2
Wow another fake Levi myspace page, that is like the 5th one I have seen.
Classy.
A gift huh? A fake myspace is a gift? Hmmm a real gift would be not reading the same bs we can read on Perez Hilton or TMZ on the Juice! haha 😉
Harsh critics, numbers 6 and 7… what can you offer?
I thought this post was fun.
Thanks for starting my day with a laugh, El Luchador…
Longboobs
A fun post? Making fun of a kid that did not ask for any of this. How is that funny? It certainly does not make me laugh.
It is classless.
Don’t think he’s making fun of the kid, Danielle, just the ridiculousness of the circumstances. All politicians know this kind of scrutiny and resultant satire will happen, so they then must weigh their desire for power against the best interest of their family. Ms. Palin chose the limelight. Hopefully she thoughtfully considered the consequences with the full participation of her family and any other individual that might be impacted, including Levi.
By the way, you’ll notice Colin Powell never ran for office. I think it’s because he didn’t want to subject his family to this level of scrutiny.
I still think it’s a fun post. I don’t think El Luchador is much older than Levi, and frankly, it pleases me to see a young person paying attention to the world rather than spending the majority of the day in front of their TV playing with their Wii.
Listen Danielle T, relax. This should be a lesson to all young people that they need to be more responsible for their actions. It’s a joke, and by the way, he did ask for it. The moment he decided to have sex whether it was protected or not he was asking for it.
He should have been willing to accept the responsibilities of his actions. I weigh the options and chances before each time I have intercourse. I ask myself “Am I willing to deal with whatever happens after this?” If the answer is yes, then I proceed. If I go around having unprotected sex and I get somebody pregnant then I’m obviously asking for it, so is anybody that has sex.
By the way, the situation is not funny, it’s hilarious. If you want to discuss this further please e-mail me at:
el.luchador@rocketmail.com
Just please no name calling, I will listen to any intelligent argument you provide and I will pledge to engage in name calling if you start.
Oh yeah one more thing, if you think I am just posting this to somehow “attack” the ticket, you are wrong. Anyone that would base their vote on something like this is dumb. I am by no means trying to sway anyone’s vote one way or the other.
“He should have been willing to accept the responsibilities of his actions. I weigh the options and chances before each time I have intercourse. I ask myself “Am I willing to deal with whatever happens after this?” If the answer is yes, then I proceed. If I go around having unprotected sex and I get somebody pregnant then I’m obviously asking for it, so is anybody that has sex.”
On this I agree with you. If you notice he is standing up and accepting the responsibilities of his actions.
Now that is the only place I agree with you.
“Listen Danielle T, relax. This should be a lesson to all young people that they need to be more responsible for their actions. It’s a joke, and by the way, he did ask for it. The moment he decided to have sex whether it was protected or not he was asking for it.”
He did not ASK to have jokes made about him or make fake myspace pages. Any other young man that gets a girl pregnant does not go through this. The only reason why people are making fake myspaces about him or making fun of him is because he happened to get the possible future VPs daughter pregnant.
So no he was not asking for it by having sex before marriage. That could not be further from the truth.
Who ever asks to be made fun of?
The guy knew he was playing with fire, he was still messing around with the Governor’s daughter.
Are you advocating a society without humor. Have you never laughed at someone that wasn’t “asking” for it?
You’re right the average young man who gets someone pregnant doesn’t get the chance to be on International TV watched by 37 million people and the average young man doesn’t get the chance to marry into what may potentially be a very politically powerful family. I’m sure he’ll have a hard time figuring out where his next meal will come from once his Mother-in-law is the Vice President of the United States. You are barking up the wrong tree if you expect me or anyone else to feel sorry for him.
He did not ask to make jokes about him? Anything you put on your myspace and make it public domain can be and will be used against you. Especially if you are famous by accident. *oops* did I make a funny?
I feel more sorry for Bristol because she has to get married to this dude. I also feel sorry for the fact that her display of irresponsibility has to be broadcasted all over the world. Shes now famous for being the knocked up daughter of a VP hopeful. How embaressing is that to go to school and know everyone knows? She isnt suppose to feel that kind of embaressment until it starts to show. Levi seems like a real trip and I highly doubt hes going to be very commited. He seems to be commited by force rather than want. That isnt owning up to your responsibilities. Thats just what we call a shotgun wedding. If you dont marry her, Im going to shoot your nuts off! And Im sure his nuts were quite under threat after the discovery.
For this genius, he doesn’t want to get married at this point, he never intended on having kids, and now he probably feels trapped. Sure he should man up to his consequences, but he could have easily just given child support and had the choice to not marry her. Instead, because he put his pecker in the wrong hooha at the wrong time, hes forced to face much harder consequences than average americans usually would have to deal with. Their private business isnt being posted on CNN or the world wide web. His have already made headlines. I mean, thats how it goes when you think you can get away with stupidity. But the ironic thing that has made people chuckle is that Palin believes in abstinence only programs and look how well it worked for her daughter. But people seem to not understand the media hysteria and significance over the pregnancy. It was not the pregnancy itself that people were mocking, but how contradictive it was towards Palin’s overly conservative views. Either way, the exposure was quite cruel for some one so young to handle. I dont blame the anger over it, but I also understand the significance of it as well.
You know they “quoted” from Levi’s Myspace page in the commendably non-biased “US Weekly” magazine (the Sarah Palin “Babies Lies & Sex” issue) and it was just as ridiculous as this. Yeah the same issue with a 2 page spread that dedicated to fawning over Michelle Obama’s savvy fashion-sense “August 23: Michelle rocked a printed cotton poplin Moschino wrap dress at a rally in Springfield, IL…”. The media and so many people are just so inexplicably in love with this person that nothing other than his beguiling speeches and liberal voting record (when he does actually vote) to recommend him to the office of President….. Of France. How hypocritical is it to scream “Scandal!” on Sarah Palin when these same people kept mum during and after the countless, and astonishingly unethical dealing involving the Clintons. So her Daughter got pregnant by a knob-head, yeah that’s a bummer but at least she’s not going to kill the baby because she screwed up. It’s called taking responsibility for you actions, something Liberals seem to view as an entirely alien concept. Uhh, anyone remember this one? : “It depends on what the meaning of the words ‘is’ is.” –Bill Clinton, during his 1998 grand jury testimony on the Monica Lewinsky affair. Whatever, I’m over it, this is to ridiculous to waste anymore of my time with.
Tata…
a Johnston. as soon as I heard that on the stupid news, I just had to google it. a f’n johnston. that name has left such an ugly taste in my mouth…and the johnston in my life said that you guys are all related…and whether what I just read is for real or not…i dunno…these seem like the private thoughts of a johnston…but the johnston i knew privately has these thoughts…gives himself a good hearty inside laugh…but, on the outside, he’s a SAINT…fooling everyone except the ones he takes for a f’n ride…and the victims are left to defend themselves…trying like helll to prove that they were victims and not persecuters OR THE GREAT DOWNFALL of the great SAINT. and even the victims are left feeling just plain CRAZY for feeling so raped in so many waaays. a F’N JOHNSTON….UN—-F’N—BELIEVABLE