Levi Johnston-Palin’s last MySpace Post

Late tonight I managed to “obtain” Bristol Palin’s new fiancé’s last MySpace entry. Apparently his MySpace account has been shut down now and it is no longer available.  However, as a gift to all of our faithful readers I have decided to post it here:

What a ride! Figuratively speaking, oh heck literally too. Here I am in Minnesota at the RNC, whoever would have thought? I don’t even know if I’m a Republican yet, well I guess I am now by default or should I say by not so immaculate conception.

The last few months of my life have been interesting to say the least. I went from being a guy who hooked up with the Governor’s daughter to now being engaged to the Republican Vice-Presidential Candidate’s daughter. I wasn’t planning on getting married and having a kid. Well I was, but I was planning on doing it in that order not the other way around. And not now!  Maybe not ever. But, like that nice lady who works for John McCain told me to say, “it’s God’s plan.” Or something like that…

It sure was fun riding in a helicopter for the first time in my life. You must all be wondering how I ended up here on short notice right? I got a special plane and helicopter ride from Bristol’s Mom – I call her Mrs. P. The man from the DA’s Office said that if I did the right thing, he would also do the right thing. Then my parents said that getting married was the right thing to do.

Personally I think the right move would have been to not use the baby seal skin condoms that I bought at that new gas station owned by Bristol’s Aunt and Uncle. But what was I supposed to do? My pal Stoney from school worked the counter there and he told me they were cool, and I knew Stoney was cool. Who knew baby seal skin was so weak?  I mean they’re supposed to be waterproof and they can live on the ice!

It kinda sucks cause I was looking forward to “meeting” other girls in college – maybe girls from real cities!  This deal was supposed to only be till the end of summer and maybe during Thanksgiving Break.  Now it’s forever!  I thought teenage pregnancy only happened in movies like Juno or Knocked Up or something.  How is it possible that the movies got it wrong?  This didn’t happen to McLovin!

So now here I am in Minneapolis(I hope I spelled that right) and I have to act like I am part of the family.  I am afraid of Bristol’s dad!  he keeps looking at me funny! So does her brother!  But I guess I am part of the family now.  And hpoefully the Secret Service guys will protect me.

There’s so many cameras I feel like I’m on that show The Hills or something. Me and Bristol used to love to watch that show, we’re so on team Heidi. That Lauren is so two faced. I never thought that my quest to get some would land me on CNN.

John McCain keeps telling me that I have to be a man now. Hey I’m 18 – I’m still a teenager! BTW, he sure has a strong handshake for an old guy who got tortured.  I think he scares me more than Mr. P! I don’t like how he bumps me on the shoulder while talking out of the side of his mouth saying things like “how’s life in the fast lane now?”  or “I guess some fellas have to learn things the hard way.” WHATEVER old guy. If you croak my Mother-in-law is going to be the Prez! Maybe /i’ll become an ambassador or something…I wonder if I can at least get an ipod with the Presidential seal on it?

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