The Dow Jones Industrial Average just broke over 20,000 and the chances are it has at least another 2,000 more to go. Time to buy some good old fashioned American Stocks and make a killing according to Wall Street. Johnson and Johnson, Raytheon, General Dynamics, General Electric and even Boeing! Yes sir-reee, our New President is taking us back to the “good old days”, when everything was made in America and our Iowa Corn was stuck in silos and filled to the brim.
The year was 1950, and we had been through World War II, gone through a very traditional downturn recession, dropped the bomb on Japan, had our American Companies running all over the world impregnating folks with our “Ugly American image” – of fast buck artists, slick shoe sales folks from Madison Avenue, with little or no culture or class, pushing our brick bellied weight around and dropping lots of cash on very arrogant, unforgiving French Waiters.
We drove Cadillacs with small tail fins or Chrysler and Lincoln Town Cars. The 1950 Chevy was made of Pittsburgh or Ohio steel and was powered by a wonderful 150 horsepower, overhead valve, six cylinder engine called the Blue Streak! The 1950 Ford was the 2nd iteration of a new design from Ford that even offered a push button door handle for easy access. The ’50 Oldsmobile 88 was hot!
This is when America was great! This is when America was first! This is when Abortion was not allowed, This is when foreigners had to report their whereabouts every January 1st. This is when all school kids had to stand in line, as the flag was raised every morning at school and they had to say the Pledge of Allegiance. These are the days when every kid had to learn “Duck and Cover Drills,” just in case the Russians wanted to bomb us with stolen H-Bomb technology from our German Scientists and we even practiced with the loud siren and when to get under our desk quickly, with our hands behind our necks and our eyes closed, on our knees in a fetal position.
The American dollar was the strongest currency on the planet and the price of gold was $35 dollars an ounce. Gasoline cost .29 cents a gallon.
We had hobos and drunks riding the rails, out of work veterans, sky-high divorce. Many kids were placed in orphanages, church outplacement, and some with Father Flanagan in the Nebraska. Juvenile Delinquency was a big thing in the inner cities of New York, Chicago and areas of New Jersey. These kids wound up in “Juvie” and hard tasked by their parents or relative if they had any. The days before Boy Scouts were molested by their Troop Leaders [Ed. Note: doubtful] or ever had it reported to the general public. [Ed. note: true.] Kids were sent to Military school as punishment for bad conduct at home.
Hardened Criminals went to San Quentin and Rikers Island and Leavenworth – The Big House” or “the Slam” they called it then. The cops had God like powers and abused who they wished, that they knew were dirty – but really loved little kids and little old ladies. The cops and firemen were our neighbors, and off duty they were our friends – the cops were mostly either legacy from their dad or uncle or were coming out of the Army or Marines from WWII.
The average house was just about $10,000 dollars. A new car was just about $2,000 dollars. Average rent ranged from $25 dollars a month to $40 dollars a month. Retired people or the aged received Old Age Benefits….about $11 dollars a month. A loaf of bread was just about 20 cents, a pound of ground round about 50 cents.
We had a Mandatory Draft and every male had to do 2 years in the Service and file for Selective Service before their 18th Birthday. The local Draft Board had godlike powers and many parents secretly turned in their own kids. If boys got into trouble with the law for say “Midnight Auto Supply” issues or worse….the judge usually suspended their sentence and made them go directly into the Service – immediately.
Fast forward to November 8th, 2016 – the impossible happened. An authoritarian nightmare, with manic depressive qualities, tied with neurosis, mother fixation, super abundant geniality, and a all consuming psychotic twisted logic, became the leader of the Free World.
All logic has been turned on its head – up is down, right is wrong, left is right, personal freedoms and rights no longer exist. It seems that our new leader has taken a Speedy Time Capsule back to 1950. Evidently, something very traumatic happened to him when he was four years old and his mind just stopped. The future just came sliding to a stop.
For those of us old enough to remember the days when Hopalong Cassidy and Tim McCoy, Bob Steele and Monty Montana were our heroes…….we understand. We get it. It seemed such a safe time when the old guys took care of us, treated us with love and respect and wanted to pass on their wisdom to us.
What we don’t understand is how our dear President can believe that the Citizens of the United States in 2017 are really going to put up with such fairy tales in a new Global Society which does not rotate around one Giant, Wonderful, Fantastic, Beautiful, Amazing, Bigger than anything that anyone has ever done – Single Personality. Those days are long gone….we hate to inform the President and his Brigade of nodding doggies in the window.
The future that people believe in today – is just that “The Future – not the passed!” We believe in Smart Cars, Smart Phones, Smart Houses, Smart Women, Smart Leaders and very smart explanations of : “What the hell are you doing?” No matter what your concept of reality…….heck, we will listen to the babblings of drunks and drug addicts….we don’t care – but you are stealing our time Mr. President. You are stealing our future, you are stealing our waking moments to improve this planet and the lives of everyone on it.
In case no one told you – “That’s your job!” “Like it or hate it – get off your duff and at least pretend you know how to inspire others, show remorse, show resolution to the facts, show that you have a pair – and aren’t just a empty suit, control freak that watched one too many Enterprise Rental Car Commercials – with far more power than is deserved!
Hate to tell you, sir: We NEVER watched Celebrity Apprentice when you were on it. The only thing we ever saw about Donald J. Trump – was the 60 minute segment on your war with the Scottish Farmer over your Super Fantastic Golf Resort! Not impressive sir. Not very impressive.
Yes, you lost to Hillary Rodham Clinton by THREE MILLION VOTES! Yes, 2 of 3 your current picks for your Cabinet are ragged ass crazy and are a direct affront to the American People. Yes, you will set the record for the most protested President in American history.
So, please tell all those wonderful folks “that Hillary called Deplorables” that you are NOT going to hire them back as Textile Workers, Coal Miners, Steel Workers or Construction Engineers and Construction jobs that make a living wage in today’s market. Tell them the truth – Those jobs are never coming back to America…EVER! Not for them, not for their Aunts, Uncles, Nephews or brothers in law – or for that matter anyone else. Tell them that those brown, black, yellow and gray-skinned neighbors that moved into their neighborhoods – are there for the duration and they will have to get used to it.
Stand up and say: You folks won’t even have jobs at Walmart if we deport our immigrants or restrict more from coming into our country. Tell them the truth, that immigrants buy stuff just like every other American….and they keep turning over the money. Tell them to expect the Stock Market to Crash in 18 months big time and that they might want to buy some good solid Bonds to hold for the long term.
And tell them the biggest truth of all: Without China, India and Europe buying our goods and us buying theirs – the Global Economy will collapse and we would then have to go into Thermonuclear War – to end it and rebuild ….. At least then people would go out and build Their Personal Bomb Shelters and Safe Rooms which may actually create a few jobs for those immigrant construction workers and their Blanco Jefe!
Only 100 Days till we are back to 1950! “There’s still time brother!” – from the sign in “On the Beach”.
[Ed. Note: the Management of Orange Juice Blog is not entirely sure, even after reading and editing this piece, exactly what time-shifting event is supposed to happen on about May 7 of this year, but we are leaving this title substantively unchanged because, if something does happen then to hurtle us all back to the 1950s at that time, we want it on record that the Winships called it. Note that nothing in this post should be construed as financial advice; see your qualified professional financial advisor to have your wallet lightened.]