To my pen pal…

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cynth letterhead

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

To my pen-pal,

I got your letter. I’d respond directly, but you failed to include a return address while typing an unsigned, unattributed message. An accidental oversight, I am sure. You have no reason to fear me, but I can’t help that, so for now I can only communicate through electronic pathways that I must assume you travel.

The issue you reference is of great importance to me, but not for the reason you believe. If your expectation is an expose’ blog post, you will be disappointed. This is a personal matter, a highly personal matter, and while exposure of one party would be emotionally satisfying (you have no idea) there are innocents in this matter that deserve our respect and protection, and not for anything on earth would I victimize them yet again by invading their privacy for what would amount to gossip. A blog post would not cause harm to this individual, whose wholesale lack of moral compass is so far gone they would print the list of their sins and have it professionally framed for their office, to be hung alongside the rather infamous misrepresentation of their qualifications.

I am afraid you have the wrong “good investigator” if that was your goal.

My interest stems solely from extreme respect, and human compassion, for these victims, and in particular the most recent, who does not know me and has no reason to reach out or trust me. I would gladly offer comfort, and a totally non-judgmental shoulder, from someone who has been there, done that, got the t-shirt…and then fled the scene with little more than the t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

I care because I get it, not because I want a blog piece.

If the party (or other previous parties) deserving of our protection, not our exploitation, contacts me, I would do anything in my power to assist them. If they want their story told I would make sure it is shared, after of course we make sure nothing has been fed to me as an artificial set-up, as these anonymous notes so often end up being. Whether sent in unmarked envelopes or newly created Gmail addresses, I see it all. I wonder how many “anonymous tips” I have sent to recycling unopened thinking they were solicitations from insurance agents and Realtors. I might have to start opening more of my snail mail (as long as it is not making ticking sounds within the box.)

As you know, I have no reason whatsoever to protect the party you and I appear to agree is the epitome of all that is evil on this earth.

I know of this person’s past practices, ranging from untruthful, unprincipled, and unethical to greedy, voracious, and self-serving. I have written of these actions, because I have first person knowledge of them, with documents.

You mention “criminal behavior.” Feel free to send examples. You clearly know how to find me. So far my understanding of any criminal behavior you reference is from 2nd and 3rd hand anecdotal information, and I cannot act on or write about 2nd or 3rd hand information, especially not with this vindictive SOB in the shadows.

The hardest lesson of my life (other than “limited time offer” and “baby I promise it won’t happen again”) is that ethics and the law are not the same, and one may violate one without consequence from the other. That sucks. I know. But I have come to understand you can be one mean-hearted bastard and still prosper in this world, as long as you are willing to let others purchase your lack of principles for their own use, so that their most evil fantasies may be brought to fruition with clean hands. This appears to be the function served by the miscreant spawned by the very Hounds of Hell who is the subject of our shared loathing. Powerful people find that useful, and therefore powerful people will always come to the rescue. If those of us who see the truth find a way to make that lack of moral compass less useful to those able to protect the hammer in their toolbox, those seeking justice just might find it. To date I have failed to drive that wedge between the powerful and the useful, despite your claimed belief in my ability to do so. The more we share information with each other the closer we get to fixing what is horribly, horribly broken. In an age when everyone from the elderly to elementary school kids carry phones with video cameras in them, someone has the goods on these issues. Collecting those bits and pieces may create a case so solid that those powerful people offering cover to their enforcer no longer find value in that relationship. So if you have something to share in the next unmarked envelope, have at it. You never know when a seemingly meaningless item turns out to be the missing puzzle piece. But in an effort to protect victims I will not publicly call for specifics, making this an uphill trek at best.

It is on us, as a society, to defend the innocent, and punish the guilty, and here in America we have designed a system that does that while trying to prevent scooping up the innocent in the same net. Sadly that cautious approach to justice lets some get away. I prefer that to discovering the poor sap our village took out behind the cluster of huts to stone to death before lighting on fire and throwing into a pit was a case of mistaken identity.

We don’t always get to see justice, but we must not stop believing in it or striving for it.

Karma and Fate are drinking buddies, and sometimes they let us watch while they inflict their comeuppance on those who need it. But God works in other ways, and I trust Him and His form of justice, even if I cannot see it. Yes, my broken human sin nature MUCH prefers hanging out and buying drinks for Fate and Karma, occasionally throwing them onto the Karaoke stage to get their adrenaline pumping, hoping to goad them into taking home for the night those who have made life difficult. I would be lying if I didn’t cop to that. My better nature is seeking to be more like the Lord I follow, letting go of the bitterness and letting Him deal with those who need to be dealt with, while not simply walking away from a battle we should be fighting. We fix what we can fix and let God deal with what is beyond us. So far this one has been beyond us. I hope that is not always the case.

2 Timothy 3 But mark this: there will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God – having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

Now here is the good news, if there is any in this mess.

God. Sees. Everything.

If I believed our experience in this world was all our existence consisted of, I would be devastated at the way some, like the target of our mutual disgust here, seem to prosper while doing unspeakable things. But I do believe in a loving God who sees and hears all, and He cares about the injustice committed against His children even more than we do. While here on this earth He is giving us enough rope to hang ourselves, or we can choose to use our rope to help others out of the pit. Absent a turnaround in which this “misguided soul” reverses their habit of forming hangman’s knots and begins using hemp strands to knit blankets for orphans, the rope they have misused in this lifetime will be their undoing. We might not get to see it, not on this side of eternity. Thankfully this lifetime is not all there is, and THAT is why I can get up and do this again tomorrow. We belong to a God of law and order and the sense of justice imbued in us through Him is rooted in love and mercy and a need to see wrong made right. The effort to clean up the mess is on us. The outcome is on Him.

I hope that your attempt to involve me is a sign that the victims of this evil have a friend in you, and are not alone. If so, please pass along my heartfelt sympathy, compassion, and offer of assistance in any (non-monetary) form. If you are merely looking to display someone else’s not-so-fresh tighty-whiteys out on a public laundry line of my making, without genuine relationship with the victims, go ahead and get into the pit with the Evil One we discuss here, and shame on you.

I am not sure how to help here, but I stand ready if you want to send more information on how to fix what is broken. At this point I offer prayer. Let me know what I can do.


cynth twiddle

About Cynthia Ward

I am a truth-teller. It gets me in trouble. But if you ask me if a dress makes you look fat, I will tell you so, and help select another, before you go on television and realize it for yourself. My real friends are expected to be truthful with me as well. A secret shared will be taken to my grave, but lie to me, and it will end up here…on these pages… especially if you are tasked with the stewardship of public resources. I am a registered Republican who disdains the local GOP power structure, a born-again Christian who supports everyone’s right to spend their lives with the partner of their choosing. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister. I am a loyal friend to those who merit that friendship and when crossed I am a bitch with a capital C. I do not fit into a box, nor do I see others through the stereotypes that politics and public affairs so often tries to shoehorn us into. I think for myself, and so do you. Welcome to our shared space in this world.