OJB Quiz (With PRIZE!): What Does a “Water District Consultant” Do?

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Yucaipa Valley Flowers

BZZZZT! No, we’re sorry — a photographer who takes pretty pictures of local flora for the publication of a local Water District is a Water District *Contractor* not a Water District *Consultant*!

The term “Water District Consultant” will appear in the news next week — which raises the question of what a “Water District Consultant” is and what one does.

The Google initially showed promise of an answer — 51,000 hits on the phrase! — but OJB’s review of them quickly narrowed that number to a mere 45 non-duplicative ones.  Sadly, even a good number of those did not actually contain the phrase “Water District Consultant” itself, but rather sentences like:

“I wish to request a drink of water,” District Consultant Aloysius  Scratchpad said weakly, shortly before collapsing to the floor and being rushed to urgent care, where he was later listed in stable condition after apparently suffering from an overdose of polar bear liver pate served at the Bollixham Financial District’s annual soiree.

That sort of sentence sheds little light on the matter — and is in any event, in its particulars, made up.  (Seriously, though: don’t eat polar bear liver.  Poisonous amounts of Vitamin A.)

So, slightly saddened and a little miffed at the lack of quality service from Google, we inquire directly of the unbanned portion of our devoted readership: what do YOU think a “WATER DISTRICT CONSULTANT” is and/or does — or, for that matter, isn’t and doesn’t do, which (if we get enough answers) would in time help us narrow it down.  (Don’t expect a prize for the latter unless you’re ruling out something plausible.)

The Grand Prize winner, chosen by the OJB Ad Hoc Committee on Contents Membership, will receive a prize: something like a discounted entry to a political fundraiser.  Plus, there’s the glory of it!

People who already answer are not eligible for the prize and, if you spoil others’ fun, are not eligible for a list of other things that will be assembled if and when necessary.  “Don’t be a dork,” as some people say.

Look for the answer on Monday night or so.

About Greg Diamond

Prolix worker's rights and government accountability attorney and General Counsel of CATER. His anti-corruption work in Anaheim infuriated the Building Trades and Teamsters in spring 2014, leading them to work with the Democratic Party of Orange County Chair and other co-conspirators (who had long detested the internal oversight his presence provided) to remove him from the position of DPOC North Vice Chair of in violation of party rules and any semblance of due process. He also runs for office sometimes. Unless otherwise specifically stated, none of his writings prior to that lawless putsch ever spoke for the Democratic Party at the local, county, state, national, or galactic level. He tries to either suppress or openly acknowledge his partisan, issue, ideological, and "good government" biases in most of his writing here. If you have a question about any particular writing, just ask him about it and (unless you are an pseudonymous troll) he will probably answer you at painful length. He lives in Beautiful Bountiful Brea, but while he may brag about it he generally doesn't blog about it. A family member works as a campaign treasurer for candidates including Wendy Gabriella in AD-73; he doesn't directly profit from that relatively small compensation and it doesn't affect his coverage. He does advise some campaigns informally and (except where noted) without compensation.