OJB Quiz (With PRIZE!): What Does a “Water District Consultant” Do?

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Yucaipa Valley Flowers

BZZZZT! No, we’re sorry — a photographer who takes pretty pictures of local flora for the publication of a local Water District is a Water District *Contractor* not a Water District *Consultant*!

The term “Water District Consultant” will appear in the news next week — which raises the question of what a “Water District Consultant” is and what one does.

The Google initially showed promise of an answer — 51,000 hits on the phrase! — but OJB’s review of them quickly narrowed that number to a mere 45 non-duplicative ones.  Sadly, even a good number of those did not actually contain the phrase “Water District Consultant” itself, but rather sentences like:

“I wish to request a drink of water,” District Consultant Aloysius  Scratchpad said weakly, shortly before collapsing to the floor and being rushed to urgent care, where he was later listed in stable condition after apparently suffering from an overdose of polar bear liver pate served at the Bollixham Financial District’s annual soiree.

That sort of sentence sheds little light on the matter — and is in any event, in its particulars, made up.  (Seriously, though: don’t eat polar bear liver.  Poisonous amounts of Vitamin A.)

So, slightly saddened and a little miffed at the lack of quality service from Google, we inquire directly of the unbanned portion of our devoted readership: what do YOU think a “WATER DISTRICT CONSULTANT” is and/or does — or, for that matter, isn’t and doesn’t do, which (if we get enough answers) would in time help us narrow it down.  (Don’t expect a prize for the latter unless you’re ruling out something plausible.)

The Grand Prize winner, chosen by the OJB Ad Hoc Committee on Contents Membership, will receive a prize: something like a discounted entry to a political fundraiser.  Plus, there’s the glory of it!

People who already answer are not eligible for the prize and, if you spoil others’ fun, are not eligible for a list of other things that will be assembled if and when necessary.  “Don’t be a dork,” as some people say.

Look for the answer on Monday night or so.

About Greg Diamond

Somewhat verbose worker's rights and government accountability attorney, residing in northwest Brea. General Counsel of CATER, the Coalition of Anaheim Taxpayers for Economic Responsibility, a non-partisan group of people sick of local corruption. Deposed as Northern Vice Chair of DPOC in April 2014 when his anti-corruption and pro-consumer work in Anaheim infuriated the Building Trades and Teamsters in spring 2014, who then worked with the lawless and power-mad DPOC Chair to eliminate his internal oversight. Occasionally runs for office to challenge some nasty incumbent who would otherwise run unopposed. (Someday he might pick a fight with the intent to win rather than just dent someone. You'll know it when you see it.) He got 45% of the vote against Bob Huff for State Senate in 2012 and in 2014 became the first attorney to challenge OCDA Tony Rackauckas since 2002. None of his pre-putsch writings ever spoke for the Democratic Party at the local, county, state, national, or galactic level, nor do they now. A family member co-owns a business offering campaign treasurer services to Democratic candidates and the odd independent. He is very proud of her. He doesn't directly profit from her work and it doesn't affect his coverage. (He does not always favor her clients, though she might hesitate to take one that he truly hated.) He does advise some local campaigns informally and (so far) without compensation. (If that last bit changes, he will declare the interest.)