OJB Quiz (With PRIZE!): What Does a “Water District Consultant” Do?

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Yucaipa Valley Flowers

BZZZZT! No, we’re sorry — a photographer who takes pretty pictures of local flora for the publication of a local Water District is a Water District *Contractor* not a Water District *Consultant*!

The term “Water District Consultant” will appear in the news next week — which raises the question of what a “Water District Consultant” is and what one does.

The Google initially showed promise of an answer — 51,000 hits on the phrase! — but OJB’s review of them quickly narrowed that number to a mere 45 non-duplicative ones.  Sadly, even a good number of those did not actually contain the phrase “Water District Consultant” itself, but rather sentences like:

“I wish to request a drink of water,” District Consultant Aloysius  Scratchpad said weakly, shortly before collapsing to the floor and being rushed to urgent care, where he was later listed in stable condition after apparently suffering from an overdose of polar bear liver pate served at the Bollixham Financial District’s annual soiree.

That sort of sentence sheds little light on the matter — and is in any event, in its particulars, made up.  (Seriously, though: don’t eat polar bear liver.  Poisonous amounts of Vitamin A.)

So, slightly saddened and a little miffed at the lack of quality service from Google, we inquire directly of the unbanned portion of our devoted readership: what do YOU think a “WATER DISTRICT CONSULTANT” is and/or does — or, for that matter, isn’t and doesn’t do, which (if we get enough answers) would in time help us narrow it down.  (Don’t expect a prize for the latter unless you’re ruling out something plausible.)

The Grand Prize winner, chosen by the OJB Ad Hoc Committee on Contents Membership, will receive a prize: something like a discounted entry to a political fundraiser.  Plus, there’s the glory of it!

People who already answer are not eligible for the prize and, if you spoil others’ fun, are not eligible for a list of other things that will be assembled if and when necessary.  “Don’t be a dork,” as some people say.

Look for the answer on Monday night or so.

About Greg Diamond

Prolix worker's rights and government accountability attorney. General Counsel of CATER, the Coalition of Anaheim Taxpayers for Economic Responsibility, a non-partisan group of people sick of local corruption. Deposed as Northern Vice Chair of DPOC in April 2014 when his anti-corruption and pro-consumer work in Anaheim infuriated the Building Trades and Teamsters in spring 2014, who then worked with the lawless and power-mad DPOC Chair to eliminate his internal oversight. Runs for office sometimes, so far to offer a challenge to someone nasty who would otherwise have run unopposed. Someday he might pick a fight intending to win it rather than just to dent someone. You'll know it when you see it. None of his pre-putsch writings ever spoke for the Democratic Party at the local, county, state, national, or galactic level. A family member works part-time as a campaign treasurer. He doesn't directly profit from that relatively small compensation and it doesn't affect his coverage. (He does not always favor her clients, though she might hesitate to take one that he hated. He does advise some local campaigns informally and generally without compensation. If that changes, he will declare the interest. He also runs a less frequently published blog called "The Brean," for his chosen hometown, where he is now fighting with its wealthiest and most avaricious citizen-donors. This just seems to be his way.