What Corporation Should Receive Naming Rights to Anaheim’s ARTIC Train Station?

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Anaheim’s City Council will start off the new year not only by apparently approving a settlement to their litigation with the ACLU — having successfully delayed single-member districts until 2016, after what their corporate sponsors hope is the re-election of Kris Murray and, less importantly, Gail Eastman — but also by spending $129,000 to hire a Cleveland, Ohio firm called The Superlative Group to spend a year selling corporate naming rights to the ARTIC Train Station.

Waste of time and money.  I’ve already got the perfect proposal — presuming that the Superlative Group doesn’t want to buy the rights itself, because then we could call ARTIC the Superlative Train Station, and that would make it so.

ARTIC station - Massengill Prestige Brands

ARTIC station – pictured with Massengill/Prestige Brands corporate sponsorship!

Why are we building ARTIC?  Prestige, right?  So what better company to name it after than Prestige Brands, Inc. — which manufactures personal care and home cleaning products?   Prestige Brands owns prestigious brands including Beano bean neutralizer, Chloraseptic sore throat products, Clear Eyes eye clearing juice, Compound W wart remover, Dermoplast skin numbing spray, Dramamine motion sickness easer, Ecotrin heart attack prevention aspirin, Efferdent denture fizz, Fiber Choice bowel regularizer, Kwellada lice and scabies banishers, Luden’s cough stopper, Massengill unnecessary feminine hygiene cleaner, Nytol and Sominex sleep causers, Tagamet stomach smoother, and Comet and Spic and Span cleaning products.

In other words, there’s pretty much something for everyone!

While we’d want the Prestige name on the building (for the prestige), they would of course want to feature at least one product in the train station’s name.  In the spirit of “something for the ladies,” I’ve mocked up an image for naming rights honoring the Massengill brand — the company whose product safety blunder (as in “we didn’t know that that was poisonous!”) during the Great Depression led directly to the Pure Food and Drug Act.

Naming something after a bank or a phone company is boring.  For the sake of the prestige it stands to gain with the new ARTIC station, Anaheim deserves better.  Please feel welcome to offer your own suggestions for corporate name-rights-holders in comments.

About Greg Diamond

Prolix worker's rights and government accountability attorney and General Counsel of CATER. His anti-corruption work in Anaheim infuriated the Building Trades and Teamsters in spring 2014, leading them to work with the Democratic Party of Orange County Chair and other co-conspirators (who had long detested the internal oversight his presence provided) to remove him from the position of DPOC North Vice Chair of in violation of party rules and any semblance of due process. He also runs for office sometimes. Unless otherwise specifically stated, none of his writings prior to that lawless putsch ever spoke for the Democratic Party at the local, county, state, national, or galactic level. He tries to either suppress or openly acknowledge his partisan, issue, ideological, and "good government" biases in most of his writing here. If you have a question about any particular writing, just ask him about it and (unless you are an pseudonymous troll) he will probably answer you at painful length. He lives in Beautiful Bountiful Brea, but while he may brag about it he generally doesn't blog about it. A family member works as a campaign treasurer for candidates including Wendy Gabriella in AD-73; he doesn't directly profit from that relatively small compensation and it doesn't affect his coverage. He does advise some campaigns informally and (except where noted) without compensation.