Many wives and dedicated women get rather upset during the Holiday Season. They are busy baking Christmas Cookies, Ham, Turkey, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy, Brown Sugar Yams, Fruit Cake and Rum Pound Cake. They want their husbands to clean the shower so when friends come over, they won’t see any dirt spots. They demand that “father dear” clean the toilets to an elegance that the Duchess of Cambridge would be proud. They demand further that “dad” get up off the couch and vacuum up the potato and frito corn chips from in front of his favorite chair in the family room…where the wide screen television resides.
The point is that during these very festive days, when millions and millions of family members get together for the Holidays….there is a direct conflict of interest to a society built upon Sporting Events. For example: The LA Galaxy just won their Soccer Cup with the last game to be played by David Beckham. The question for Soccer buffs? How much of the game did you miss….because of “honey do issues”? The truth is that alot of very important issues are put on the back burner during the Holidays because of Sporting Events. Time Warner Cable recently caused a major stir over their exclusive coverage of the Lakers and NFL Red Zone Access. In order to save our readers a variety of heart ache, mental upset, anger and family conflicts, we offering the following advice:
OK…let’s start with the LA Lakers. We love Kobe Bryant, in fact he live just down the street from us and we are pleased as we can be that he is back with his beautiful family again. The Lakers? Hmmm. We wanted Coach Phil Jackson to return to the Lakers and stay that Play-off Maven….we have come to know and love over the years…..from “Showtime” to “Go Time”……ex-coach Mike Brown. We now have another Mike….D’Antoni. We have a very bad feeling about this and when Steve Nash comes back from his broken leg – the “Go Time Lakers” will still be close to a 50% winning percentage…we predict. Therefore, when the Lakers come on television guys…..turn off the sound (their commentators are awful – we loved Chick Hearn)…do your required “Honey Do Jobs” and after it is all said and done….the Lakers will be 46 and 46 at the end of the year….but through some odd ball circumstance still may make the first round of the Play-Offs.
Then you have the LA Clippers. Now this is a great team and pretty fun to watch, except they have an inordinate way of losing the big one. They have some absolutely wonderful stars, Chauncy Billips, Griffin, Chris Paul and a bunch of really cool others. The problem folks will be: The Clippers will have this huge winning record…perhaps 68 and 24. They will be great until the Play-offs where they can then lose to almost anyone! So, again….put the Clippers game on and keep the sound low……(the Time Out Horn is awful)….go about your Holiday duties and remember……but a Clipper Jersey….they are not winners! Just not “the big winner”!
Now come the USC Trojans. As vociferous fans that put their SC banner out for every game day….we can tell you….we bleed that Cardinal and Gold. Saying that the Trojan Football program has fallen on hard times…..would be an insult to hard times! We have this young coach who seems to exemplify our world of the great 1%. He knows he is special. He knows he has support from all the rich guys. He knew that talent makes the team. So, after compiling the so-called best group of soon to be professional football talent around……well, the results were not so good. The last time a Trojan team lost to both the UCLA Bruins and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish…..was 1995……remember Coach Larry Smith? Anyway, the Trojans are going to the Sun Bowl in El Paso, Texas…..directly across from Juarez, Mexico….arguably the most corrupt town in all of Mexico. Coach Lane Kiffin, never the demanding and commanding leaderman – better make sure his team is restricted to their Hotel rooms until game time – or maybe a bunch won’t even bother to show up for the game. They will be playing the nightmare Yellow Jackets of Georgia Tech. Ted Turner will probably be at the game…..Atlanta you know? Well, don’t bother to watch this game….turn it on, leave the sound completely off……..(the commentators are dumber than snot – except for Petros Papadakis…..but he may not be there!) and read the score in the paper the next day – Georgia Tech 42 – USC 17.
Now come the UCLA Bruins and their mean spirited coach Jim Mora Jr. The father you might remember coach the New Orlean Saints before they were good. The Bruins are playing the Baylor Bears out of Waco, Texas……you know where the Branch Dividians and David Koresh came from. “There’s a Whacko down in Waco!”…a Korest written song…by the way. Anyway, the Baylor Bears will trounce Mora “the Younger” with impunity in the Holiday Bowl. Texas Football and they take no prisoners. Will it be an exciting game? Maybe! It might just be a complete blow out. OK, tape it if you must. But you can still see the best replay on You Tube after the game from Sports Illustrated. Baylor 52 – UCLA 13
In order to save your complete Bowl Watching experience and spend the necessary time with family and friends, enjoying your white wine with your turkey, your red wine with roast beef and your beer with anything………..we have given you the outcomes for each and every bowl game”
New Mexico Bowl – Dec. 15th…10am – Arizona over Nevada 24-17
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl – Dec. 15h….1:30pm – Toledo over Utah State 21-14
Pointsettia Bowl – Dec. 20th…5pm – BYU over San Diego State 35 – 28
Beef “O” Brady Bowl – Dec. 21st – 4:30pm – Central Florida over Ball State 42 – 18
New Orleans Bowl – Dec. 22nd – 9am – East Carolina over Louisiana Lafeyette 35 – 24
Las Vegas Bowl – Dec. 22nd – 12:30pm – Boise State over Washington 38 – 16
Hawaii Bowl – Dec. 24th – 5pm – Southern Methodist over Fresno State 28 – 13
Little Caesars Pizza Bowl – Dec. 26th – 4:30pm – Central Michigan over Western Kentucky 38 – 17
Military Bowl – Dec. 27th – 12 noon – San Jose State over Bowling Green 43 – 21
Belk Bowl – Dec. 27th – Dec. 27th – 3:30pm – Cinncinnati over Duke 38 – 13
Holiday Bowl – Dec. 27th. – 6:45pm – Baylor over UCLA 52-13
Indepence Bowl – Dec. 28th. -11am – Louisiana Monroe over Ohio 23-19
Russell Athletic Bowl – Dec. 28th. – 2:30pm – Virginia Tech over Rutgers 38 – 24
Texas Bowl – Dec. 28th. – 6pm – Tech Tech over Minnesota 28 – 13
Armed Forces Bowl – Dec. 29th. – 8:45am – Air Force over Rice University 38 – 35
Pinstripe Bowl – Dec.29th. – 12:15pm – West Virginia over Syracuse University 45 – 38
Fight Hunger Bowl – Dec. 29th. – 1pm – Arizona State over Navy 28 – 21
Alamo Bowl – Dec. 29th – 3:45pm – Texas over Oregon State 24 -17
Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl – Dec. 29th. 7:15pm – TCU over Michigan State 34 – 10
Music City Bowl – Dec. 31st. – North Carolina State over Vanderbilt 24 -14
Sun Bowl – Dec. 31st. – 11am – Baylor over USC 42 -17
Liberty Bowl – Dec. 31st – 12:30pm – Iowa State over Tulsa 34 – 14
Chick-A-Fil Bowl – Dec. 31st. – 4:30pm – LSU over Clemson 48 – 42
Heart of Dallas Bowl – Jan. 1st, – 9am – Oklahoma State over Purdue 27-16
Gator Bowl – Jan.1st. – 9am – Mississippi State over Northwestern 38- 13
Capital One Bowl – Jan. 1st. – 10am – Georgia over Nebraska 24-17
Outback Bowl – Jan.1st. – 10am – South Carolina over Michigan 24-23
Rose Bowl – Jan. 1st. – 2pm – Stanford over Wisconsin 28-27
Orange Bowl – Jan. 1st. – 5:30pm – Northern Illinois over Florida State 35 – 28
Sugar Bowl – Jan. 2nd. – Florida Hurricanes over Louisville 42 – 18
Fiesta Bowl – Jan. 3rd. – 5:30pm – Oregon over Kansas St. 38 – 24
Cotton Bowl – Jan. 4th. – 5pm – Texas A & M over Oklahoma Sooners 37 – 19
BBVA Compass Bowl – Jan. 5th. – 10am – Pittsburgh over Mississippi 23 – 21
GoDaddy.com Bowl – Jan. 6th. – 6pm – Kent Stave over Arkansas State 24 – 21
BCS Championship Game – January 7th, 2013 – 5:30pm – Alabama Crimson Tide over Notre Dame Fighting Irish 24 – 17
Finally, The Anaheim Ducks and last years Stanley Cup winners – the LA Lakers are out on strike….with the NHL lock-out. So..no Hockey until further notice.
We cannot completely stop mentioning the NFL however. The NFL has superceded almost everything….with Fantasy Football for both gamblers and non gamblers alike. Yes, Tom Brady and Eli and Patton Manning are going to push the limits along with Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III……the injuries will surely pile up the body count, with seemingly a total disregard for major injuries in this so-called “Rollerball” future of sport. The cool part of the NFL is that they offer Red Zone Access and you don’t have to watch the endless and sometimes mindless penalty calls from dumber than snot Refs. We need Replacement Refs for the Refs and the Replacement Refs. Even with Instant Replay….it is a joke! The games are becoming more and more transparent and set up.
Well, that’s what you get……all the answers you need and you don’t even have to watch any games. Spend your time in close conversations with family and friends and love ones …that normally you just don’t have time to make time for….during these most important sporting events…..the ones you can’t miss and three weeks later can’t remember – who won what. Happy Holidays and stay alert for that “Fiscal Cliff” between checking on our score projections.