Twinkie Homicide: Who done it?


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It’s said that two things may survive a nuclear blast.

1) Cockroaches

2) Twinkies

We all remember Disney’s Wall-E, right?  Humans trash the planet and only one roach survives.  It’s fed Twinkies by a trash crunching robot.

Turns out Disney’s projection of the future was wrong.

It wasn’t overpopulation or pollution that killed the Twinkie.  It wasn’t a nuclear blast.

Turns out it was a union.  Watch out roaches.  You’re next.

http://www.nbcnews.com/business/no-more-twinkies-strike-may-do-hostess-1C7073316?ocid=msnhp&pos=7

**Note, the demise of Hostess is a complex problem involving the increasing awareness of our own mortality, obesity   the actions of the 1%, and of course– unions.  This post is solely intends to promote the future well being of roaches, whose sole future sustenance is now in question not because of our bad housekeeping or potential warmongering, but because of our limited understanding of economics.   Please discuss.  Think of the (roach) children.


About Ryan Cantor

Our young conservative columnist, based in Fullerton, works as a Project Development Analyst and Strategic Planner for a major petroleum firm, and is an avid homebrewer. (Anger Management Brewery)