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Watch this post for blow-by-blows all night on the slow inevitable defeat (at least I sure hope) of Mitt Romney, of the politics of billionaires and lies, of the horrible current incarnation of the Republican Party, of the last Presidential campaign in US history that will ever be able to depend solely on the votes of white people.
Watch this post as each state is called. I start now at 6pm our time, 9pm Out East. (Yes, Out East. You know how we’ve all grown up saying “Back East, and Out West?” Well, screw that, I was born in California, and so were you! Probably.)
Anyway as I start this evening, these states are called for Romney: Arkansas, Kentucky, South Carolina, Indiana, West Virginia, all the states from South Carolina west to Texas, all the states from Texas north to North Stoopid Dakota. And pinche Wyoming. And – oh no – Utah! And freakin Montana! Now Arizona. Whoa, look out
And these for Obama: Maine, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connsecticut, New York, New Jersey,Delaware, Maryland, DC, Illinois, Michigan, New Hampshire! Minnesota! New Mexico!
And these Eastern states are still too close to call: Virginia, Florida, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Ohio…
Romney IS still a little up in electoral votes as of 7:40, but none of the famed swing states have come in. Not to mention a famous little place known as California, Oregon and Washington!
We’re also closely watching the Senate!
Although, “control of the Senate” is practically an oxymoron in these days of the kneejerk Republican “filibuster” – neither party is anywhere near having 60 seats in the House of Paralysis. Still, there are some great and exciting races out there that we’ll be keeping an eye on – the great Elizabeth Warren against some naked guy with a truck comes to mind. We hope to be able to report the Virginia victory of Tim Kaine. Just sticking to the East coast though, we can already tell you that
Florida’s Democratic Senator Bill Nelson has prevailed;
West Virginia’s Manchin (our worst Dem now that Lieberman, Lincoln and Ben Nelson are gone) has hung in there;
and that Connecticut Democrat Chris Murphy has beat that Worldwide Wrestling Lady who had taken of late to adding Obama’s name to her campaign signs seeing what a drag Mitt was on her prospects.
We hope to bring you good news soon on the races of Elizabeth Warren, Tim Kaine, Sherrod Brown (my second favorite Senator after Bernie), Montana’s Jon Tester, the Nevada Senate race, the Rape Races (McCaskill against the mysterious secretions guy and the Indiana race against the rape-is-God’s will guy) and several others as the night goes by!
UPDATE – Indiana Dem Joe Donnelly beats Rape is God’s Will Mourdoch! Musta also been God’s will, eh.
How close can we Dems get to taking back the House?
Hardly anyone’s saying that’s possible anymore, but hope springs eternal. We should at least gain some seats. A Republican-controlled House may very well continue to be nothing but an unpatriotic roadblock to anything positive Obama tries to do … or will it? Will it still, now that their fond hope of making Obama a one-term President has slipped through their fingers? Maybe, God forbid, they will sit down and be statesmen, at least some of them? Andrew Sullivan thinks so.
Still some House races will resonate symbolically. Could it be that we’ll see nutjobs Allen West, Joe Walsh, and Michele Bachmann defeated? They’ve all got strong challengers this year. Can FOX News make room for that many new talk show hosts? Or could they share an hour together as the Three Teabag Rejects or something? This is another thing we will strive to keep you apprised of, HERE, TONIGHT, at ORANGE COUNTY’S POLITICAL MOSH PIT! YOU chime in with what YOU know or think as well.
*SENATE UPDATE 7 pm – DAYAMM!!
All my favorite Senate candidates are winning!
ELIZABETH FUCKIN WARREN! Now edging out my second favorite Senator, SHERROD BROWN, who ALSO has just been declared victor in Ohio. What a great Senate it will be with Sanders, Warren, Brown, and Franken…
Ah, almost forgot about Wisconsin’s Tammy Baldwin, angling to be the first (open) dyke Senator … my bets are on her beating Tommy Thompson, let’s see. And then Elizabeth, Sherrod and Tammy can stop begging me for money every day…
HA! Clair McCaskill beats the Legitimate Rape Guy! Two Rape Senate Candidates Down!
My headline: “Clair McCaskill repels Todd Akin with mysterious female secretion.” Can anyone make me a photoshop?
Meanwhile, Republicans are “projected to keep House Majority.” Drag. Hey, I wonder if it’s true what I heard that Eric Cantor (whiney-ass panty-waist) will be their new Speaker. I think he’s perfect. He really projects the correct image of a spoiled patrician. Oh wait – he’s got a tough challenger himself doesn’t he – wonder how that’s going…
HAHAHA 8pm… Their BAD CRAZY OUT (of Congress) and OUR GOOD CRAZY IN!
In other words, the obnoxious asshole Joe Walsh beat by legless veteran Tammy Duckworth … and … OUR loonie ALLAN GRAYSON is back! I wasn’t expecting that! Now I WISH I’d given him money, he’s actually been CALLING me on my cell phone every week. Oh well, looks like he did fine without me. Welcome back, wild man…
It’s going to be a good
two four years.
Good and Bad News, 8:05
Romney takes his first swing state, North Carolina. Oh well.
and Democrat Tim Kaine kicks George Macaca Allen’s ass for Virginia Senate seat.
Oh – looky here – Obama wins California, Hawaii and Washington as expected, but also HIS first swing state – Colorado!
OBAMA takes electoral lead. 229-190 as of 8:10 our time.
Obama takes Ohio – according to SOME – but Romney does not concede.
Obama Wins! Four More Years!
More good news: Tammy Baldwin beats Tommy Thompson in Wisconsin, become s first openly gay Senator!
And Senator Reid has just called on the GOP to stop their strategy of constant obstruction, in view of their SHELLACKING:
In the wake of a very poor Republican showing in the Senate, and President Obama’s re-election, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is calling on the Senate GOP to drop its underlying strategy of obstructing the Democratic agenda.
“Now that the election is over, it’s time to put politics aside, and work together to find solutions,” Reid said in a statement. “The strategy of obstruction, gridlock and delay was soundly rejected by the American people. Now, they are looking to us for solutions. We have big challenges facing us in the months ahead. Democrats and Republicans must come together, and show that we are up to the challenge. This is no time for excuses. This is no time for putting things off until later. We can achieve big things when we work together. And the middle class is counting on us to achieve big things in the months ahead. That is what the American expect – and that is what the American people deserve.”
Okay, I’m gonna move on now to look at local and state shit … gonna ba long night, but a good one so far!
1. Maryland votes to allow gay fuckin marriage;
2. Colorado votes to allow legal fuckin pot.
What do you squares have to say now? Lemme go check on the Allen West and Michele Bachmann races… hey what am I doing up at 2. And why are Allen, Michele, and Bachmann, all spelled so messed-up?
HAHAHA “West, despite out-raising Murphy 5-to-1, trailed by less than 3,000 with 100 percent of Florida’s 18th District reporting, according to MSNBC.
West, a Tea Party favorite, has not conceded…”
And Bachmann… still neck and neck … How nice it would be, to, very soon, look at Joe Walsh, Allen West and Michele Bachmann, and think “no longer in power.” And then turn to Alan Grayson’s smirking visage.