A message from Costa Mesa’s new Mayor, Eric Bever.

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Oh, great.  Does this mean I have to start showing up to Council meetings now?

That damn drunk stoner Monahan.  I didn’t want this stupid job.  Why the hell can’t he hold it together just a little longer.  Now *I* get to be Righeimer’s bitch.  Oh fun.

What’s Gary gotten himself into anyhow?  I wish I knew where he got that 300 grand to buy out his partners.  He won’t tell me a thing.  I know that bastard’s hiding something.  Little dipshit.  It’s gotta have something to do with his drug dealer pals.  But then why does he sic the Feds on some of ’em?  If I could just figure this out…

Now Mensinger is looking up from his Angry Birds and giving me the Stink-Eye, just like those fucking cops did that time.  What?  WHAT???  Oh, I guess I’m supposed to call this stupid meeting to order.

…

Okay.  Where was I?  Oh yeah.  I was the original hard ass up here, nobody remembers.  I could see before anyone else what a buncha losers these city workers were.  It was lonely. Even that moron Mansoor was a softie back then.  And Monahan?  Give me a break.  Monahan was a pinko fucking socialist up until Baugh yanked his chain last year.

Now it’s all about Riggy, Riggy and Mensy, sticking it to the workers.  But I was first!  Fine.  I don’t care.  I can’t wait till I’m termed out.  I’m gonna … I don’t know, but first thing I’m gonna get the hell outta Dodge.

Okay, if I gotta be Mayor I’m gonna kick someone’s ass.  That City Clerk to start with.  Or whoever fucked up getting the charter on June’s ballot.  Buddy, you’re FIRED.  I like that.  Let me at ’em.

Ha ha.  Did you see that?  I just gave the Stink Eye to that freaky bitch Wendy Leece.  Maybe being mayor’s not so bad.  I can’t wait till Sandy Genis gets up here.  I’m gonna shut up that shrew for good.

Oh.  You didn’t see that?  Fine.  Whatever.  I hate this town.  I hate all of you.  Mayor Bever, checking out.