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It’s St. Valentine’s Day, the day where many people want to have (or to have kept) a partner in real or feigned romance just out of the social pressure to have one today, which is also known as The Day Before Breaking Up Because Valentine’s Day is Over Day.
I found out yesterday that Occupy Los Angeles had decreed — with all the solemnity and power of your average City Council — that today would be “Break Up With Your Bank Day.” (And the march they herald starts in … oooh, two minutes, as I post, so teleport yourself to Pershing Square immediately!) This presentation of the idea doesn’t seem to be copyrighted, so I’m printing it in full:
Submitted by courtneyranee on Wed, 02/08/2012 – 2:43pm
TAKE TO THE STREETS AND MARCH!
It’s time to face reality. You and your bank do not have a good relationship. Your bank steals from you. Your bank arbitrarily changes the rules of the game on you ($5 bank fees, what?). Bottom line, your bank is an asshole. It’s time to stand up against the banks. It’s t…ime to break up with your bank, and what better day than Valentine’s Day.
Here’s how to transfer your money and start a new relationship with a much better partner
1. Open Your New Account
In most cases, you should be able to open a checking account with an initial deposit of $35 to $100. At a credit union, you’ll also become a member and co-owner at the same time.
2. Order New Checks and an ATM/Debit Card
These typically arrive within 1 to 2 weeks. You should also consider applying for a credit card from your new local bank or credit union at the same time.
3. Ask Your Employer to Reroute Your Direct Deposit
When you open your new account, ask the bank or credit union for a direct deposit authorization form that includes your new account information. Give this form to your employer and anyone else who makes direct deposits to your account. It may take one or more pay cycles for the change to be made, so keep your old checking account open and watch for the swith.
4. Contact Companies that Direct-Debit Your Account
Using your last bank statement, make a list of any businesses that you’ve authorized to directly debit your account. Ask your new bank or credit union for an automatic payments authorization form that includes your new account information. Send this to the businesses on your list.
5. Set-up Online Bill Paying for Your New Account
If you like to pay bills online, set up bill payment information for your new accoutn. Also, top automatic, recurring payments you have established through your old account.
6. Close Your Old Account
Once you have started receiving direct deposit into your new account and are sure that there are no outstanding checks or automatic debits that need to clear, close your account. Warning: do not just withdraw the last dollar and assume the account will fade away on is own. Your old big bank may start chargin you fees for having an empty or inactive checking account. Instead, follow the bank’s procedure for closing out the account.
7. Enjoy Your New Local Banking Relationship!
LOCATION:Pershing Square523 S Olive St.Los Angeles
DATE:Tuesday, February 14, 2012 – 11:00am
Discussion of this has led to some nice jokes among the Occupy OC set; which I’ll credit to my fellow Civic Liaison Phil. Here are his suggested break-up lines:
“It’s not me, it’s you. You have to learn some fiscal responsibility for us to be able to maintain a serious relationship.”
“I can’t have you spending my life savings on your gambling problem.”
I’ve chimed in with:
“We have to stop pretending that this can work. You’re nice when we’re face-to-face, but them you take advantage of me behind my back every chance you can. Well, you probably realize from the teller statements I’ve left around the house that I’ve been seeing a credit union on the side — a caring institution that I’m not afraid to be seen with for fear of what it’s been doing over the past week — and I’ve decided to move on and commit myself to that relationship. I hope you treat the next guy who comes through your door better.”
(Wordy as usual, I know) Do any readers out there have any other suggested break-up lines with your bank today?