Unveiling UCLA’s new mascot: The BROOSTER.


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OJ blogger Vern Nelson and his son UCLA history major Dorian Yarnelson, in Huntington Beach's "Little Kabul" neighborhood.

IN HONOR of Orange County’s most redoubtable Mexican, Gustavo Arellano, giving the UCLA commencement speech this June, my son Dorian Yarnelson wishes to unveil – on the Orange Juice Blog – for the first time – his design for the new UCLA mascot, to take the place of the old, obsolete Bruin:  The BROOSTER.

In consideration of some readers’ tender sensibilities, we are placing the Brooster “OVER the flip” – so you will have to click the “read more” link to actually survey its full horrific majesty; we have also attached a poll to solicit your opinion on how to best effect the transition.  But first I’ll let Dorian explain his thinking, the thinking behind the creation of this chilling bear-rooster hybrid:

My experience and observations during my years at UCLA lead me to believe that, as long as we are represented by the simple “Bruin” bear, we will continue to languish under the shadow of UC Berkeley’s mightier Golden Bear.  But in moving toward the Brooster hybrid we will be keeping one foot in the ursine tradition while boldly entering the new millenium.  Bear in mind that in the celebrated spat between conservative Edmund Burke and radical Tom Paine over the French Revolution, it was Burke who was proved right:  change must be gradual and organic or all hell will break loose.

Now you ask, why the rooster?  And I reply:  Look about you.  This state of California, which once was part of Mexico, becomes each year the home to more and more descendants of that proud ancestry (as Sr. Arellano reminds us so regularly and eloquently) and this demographic surge is reflected as much at our university as anywhere.   In Mexican culture (and my father and I are part Mexican) the rooster is a symbol of patriarchy and machismo; while to the Gnostics he was a symbol of the rising sun – of illumination, enlightenment and of all knowledge accumulated by mankind – highly fitting for an institute of learning of our calibre.  And here let me conclude with my observation that proud masculinity seems to be sorely lacking at UCLA of late, and I hope the new mascot I’ve designed will help to address that shortfall.

Behold:

[poll id=”273″]

Join the Facebook page “The UCLA Brooster”

Coming soon from Dorian: A graphic novel about Sarah Palin saving the world.
(Note: In the following prototype sketch, she can see Russia.)

– Dorian Yarnelson.


About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official troubador of both Anaheim and Huntington Beach (the two ends of the Santa Ana Aquifer.) Performs regularly both solo, and with his savage-jazz quintet The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at vernpnelson@gmail.com, or 714-235-VERN.