It’s that special time of year: Anti-War Xmas Caroling!


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It’s that time of year again – starting THIS afternoon – when Orange County’s Anti-war contingent (or more specifically, contingent against the occupation of Iraq, spearheaded by the local Military Families Speak Out and Iraq Veterans Against the War) takes up their guitars and sings their modified Christmas Carols at the local malls as well as the offices and homes of out local pro-war Congressmen.  For more details of this year’s actions (which begin today and Thursday) e-mail me at ChezVern@aol.com.  [Some of our lyrics are over the flip; OJ readers are welcome to compose new ones, and of course we always do the John Lennon song below…]

1. We Wish You a Merry Christmas
(a simple one to get warmed up)

We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Our troops deserve a merry Christmas,
Our troops deserve a merry Christmas,
Our troops deserve a merry Christmas, so bring them back here!

Yes, stopping this war is something Congress can do:
So, [DANA], stop the funding, or the death toll’s on you!

We won’t stop until they’re back home
We won’t stop until they’re back home
We won’t stop until they’re back home so bring them back here!

Yes, stopping this war is something Congress can do:
So, [DANA], stop the funding, or the death toll’s on you!

Our troops deserve a merry Christmas,
Our troops deserve a merry Christmas,
Our troops deserve a merry Christmas, so
BRING THEM BACK NOW!!!

2. Why the Hell Are We Here?
(tune of Do You Hear What I Hear, Nelson-Alviso 2006)

Said the grunt to his sergeant in Iraq:
Why the hell are we here? (Why the hell are we here?)
Tryin’ to not get shot in the back,
Why the hell are we here? (Why the hell are we here?)
A wife and child wait for me back home,
spending Christmas-time all alone,
spending Christmas-time all alone.

Said the sarge to the Captain in command:
Why the hell are we here? (Why the hell are we here?)
Ev’ry week it seems I lose a man.
Why the hell are we here? (Why the hell are we here?)
A roadside bomb planted in the night
filling ev’ry moment with fright;
There’s no way to win such a fight.

Said the Captain to the Joint Chiefs of Staff:
Why the hell are we here? (Why the hell are we here?)
In this civil war in Iraq?
Why the hell are we here? (Why the hell are we here?)
Each bomb we drop only makes things worse;
and our choosing sides is perverse
in this Sunni/Shia universe.

Said the troops to the Congressman back home
Time to bring us back now! (Time to bring us back now!)
Congressman all comfy back home,
Time to bring us back now! (Time to bring us back now!)
This war, this war, has gone on far too long,
Can you hear the words of our song—
Getting out will make us— more strong!!!

3. The Exit-Plan Rock
(tune of Jingle-Bell Rock, Nelson 2007)

Bring ‘em back bring ‘em back bring ‘em back home,
Pack ‘em in trucks and shlepp ‘em in jeeps,
Squeeze ‘em in humvees, a dozen to one,
Now your Exit Plan has begun!
Bring ‘em back bring ‘em back bring ‘em back home,
Here a battalion, there a platoon,
Fly home that jet plane as full as you dare,
thru the frosty air!

It’s the right time, yes it’s high time,
to end this dumbass war!
Turn our Bradleys into ploughshares:
We ain’t gonna study war no more!
Bring ‘em back bring ‘em back bring ‘em back home,
Ship ‘em home ‘round the clock;
With all dispatch snatch ’em out of Iraq,
That’s your Exit Plan, that’s our Exit Plan,
that’s the Exit Plan Rock!

4. brand-new! – Obama We’re Hopeful
(Nelson 2008, tune of “O Come All Ye Faithful”)

Obama we’re hopeful, cautiously believing
you meant when you told us that you’d end this war,
Sooner than later, let’s get our troops back state-side!
OBAMA WE’LL BE WATCHING,
OBAMA WE’LL BE MARCHING,
OBAMA WE’LL BE HOLDING YOUR FEET TO THE FIRE!

Ensconced in the White House, trying to get your bearings,
Oil men and gen’rals whisp’ring in those big ears,
Filling your head with doubts and grim scenarios,
OBAMA WE’LL BE WATCHING,
OBAMA WE’LL BE MARCHING,
OBAMA WE’LL BE HOLDING YOUR FEET TO THE FIRE!

Barack, you were right on this war from the beginning;
You beat the Republican and Democra-t hawks.
Now you’re elected to end this occupa-tion!
OBAMA WE’LL BE WATCHING,
OBAMA WE’LL BE MARCHING,
OBAMA WE’LL BE HOLDING YOUR FEET TO THE FIRE!

5. to the tune of Winter Wonderland
(Quinlan-Alviso, 2008)

Hey [Ed Royce], are you list’ning?
In Iraq, blood is glist’ning?
A horrible sight, we’re frightened tonight, walking in Iraqi war-torn land.

In the winter we are building bases, and pretending that we’re leaving town.
They’ll say are you stayin’, we’ll say “No man,
But you can clean the rubble when we’re gone.”

Early on, Bush conspired, with his cro-nies and liars,
They planned an attack and ransacked Iraq,
Leaving in their wake a war-torn land.

Now’s the time to bring our soldiers home, man,
And repair the mess that we have made.
Give Iraqis back their sov’reignty, man,
And fix the damage done in our own land.

So [Ed Royce], are you list’ning? All our troops we are missing.
A wonderful sight, our troops home tonight,
walking with their fam’lies hand in hand.

6. Dreck the Halls
(Nelson-Alviso 2007)

“Fund the war or leave them stranded!”
BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA
“Fight them there or they’ll attack here!”
BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA
Thus they give us phony choices
BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA
Call out these deceptive voices:
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE!!!

“Stay or else the blood’s on your hands!”
BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA
“Force this ‘freedom’ onto more lands!”
BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA
“Back us or you’re weak on defense!”
BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA
What do we call such rank pretense?
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE!!!

7. God Rest Ye (Sweetelle, 2007)

God rest ye dear insurgents, it’s no wonder you’re aggrieved:
We stirred up quite a hornets’ nest and now we’d like to leave;
If we can have regime change HERE we’ll occupy no more,
and we’ll wish you the very shortest civil war,
a very short war,
yes we’ll wish you the very shortest civil war!

God rest ye U. S. soldiers, we have heard that you’re alarmed.
How can “accomplished missions” keep on causing so much harm?
Your sacrifice and courage taken hostage by their lies,
Oh we’re singing ‘cos we don’t want your demise,
not your demise,
Yes we’re singing ‘cos we don’t want your demise.

God rest ye dumbed-down citizens, the truth must be proclaimed!
Our leaders feed the media, you’re programmed to be lame.
It’s time to shout, stand up and yell, we’ll tolerate no more
politicians and their greed-inspired wars,
their oil-based wars,
No we’ll foot the bill for NO MORE STUPID WARS!!!

8. Happy Xmas, War is Over
(John Lennon, 1971)

So this is Christmas, and what have you done?
Another year over, and a new one just begun.
And so this is Christmas—I hope you have fun.
The near and the dear ones, the old and the young.
A Merry Merry Christmas, and a happy new year:
Let’s hope it’s a good one without any fear.

And so this is Christmas [WAR IS OVER IF YOU WANT IT]
For weak and for strong,
the rich and the poor ones, [WAR IS OVER NOW!]
the war is so long.
And so happy Christmas [WAR IS OVER IF YOU WANT IT]
for black & for white,
for the yellow and red ones, [WAR IS OVER NOW!]
let’s stop all the fight…
A Merry Merry Christmas, and a happy new year:
Let’s hope it’s a good one without any fear…

WAR IS OVER, IF YOU WANT IT, WAR IS OVER NOW…………(3x)


About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official troubador of both Anaheim and Huntington Beach (the two ends of the Santa Ana Aquifer.) Performs regularly both solo, and with his savage-jazz quintet The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at vernpnelson@gmail.com, or 714-235-VERN.